Page 60 of Bless My Heart

“Fine. But I think you’re making a terrible mistake.” One thing about having best friends as close as Lexi, Caroline, and I are is that we don’t hesitate to tell each other what we really think. Usually, Lexi hits us with the straight-up hard truths, but it’s Caroline tonight. Caroline typically tries to avoid conflict, but she’s lit the match tonight. Too bad she doesn’t actually have a say in my relationship. It is what it is, and I’ve made my decision.

Maybe I am making a mistake, but in this moment, I feel like I’m doing what’s right for me and what’s right for Wes. He doesn’t need to be tied down at his age. He needs to explore the world and have fun. Of course, I’ll let him see our baby, but I don’t want him to be with me just because we’re having a baby.

I don’t really feel like eating after the day I’ve had. Usually, I’d just skip dinner, but this baby smells the Chinese food and is mad I’m just pushing the rice around instead of putting it in my mouth.

The girls and I sit in silence as we finish eating. They’re obviously upset with me, Caroline more so than Lexi. I’m not sure what else to say, and I don’t think they know what to say either. This might be the first time this has ever happened.

I’m cleaning the table after dinner when my phone pings with new text. My stomach flip-flops, and I hate to admit it’s because a small sliver of me hopes that it might be Wes.

I walk toward my phone as casually as I can without alerting my friends that I’m desperate to see who’s trying to get ahold of me.

It’s my mom.

Of course, it’s not Wes.

Why would Wes try to contact me after the bullshit I said to him yesterday? He hasn’t texted or called once since he walked out of here last night. My stomach tightens just thinking about the look on his face. But I straighten my spine and let out a deep breath. Everything is going to be ok. I’ve got to be the strong one here.

I ignore the text from my mom and put the phone back on the table. I turn to see Caroline giving me a knowing look. She knows I was hoping it was Wes. I think we all were kind of hoping it was Wes.

“What?” I ask her innocently.

“Nothing,” she says, shaking her head.

“Guys, I think I’m just going to bed. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I tell them. I love my friends, but right now, I think I just need to be alone with my feelings without someone scrutinizing me. I’m not worried about Lexi, but Caroline seems to be Team Wes all the way. If I show her how I’m feeling, she’s just going to convince me to go crawling back to Wes, and I’m not going to do it.

They say their goodbyes, and I climb into bed. I’m not too proud to admit that I let some tears fall before finally falling asleep.

The next morning, I’m dragging. I know I’ll have to see Wes today. I know he is going to be in my class, and I have to pretend my heart isn’t broken in front of a hundred freaking students.

Not to mention, my pants don’t really fit me anymore, and it’s getting impossible to hide my growing stomach.

I don’t bother with heels today and slip on my sparkly black flats before heading to class.

I walk into the room and go right to the desk to set up the the lecture, just like I always do. It’s my routine.

Right at ten, when the class starts, I look up and my eyes immediately find Wes. He’s sitting in his normal spot, but he looks different. He’s not smiling, and he’s definitely not looking at me. Of course, he’s not, Hazel. You basically told him to get out of your life. He won’t be nice to you now.

I clear my throat. “Ok, everyone. Let’s get started on our review.”

I pull up my PowerPoint and start the discussion.

Halfway through class, I hear a knock at the door. Every head in the lecture hall turns to the doorway, including mine.

I have to blink extra to make sure I’m seeing correctly. I look to the door again and then to Wes. He’s sitting up a little straighter, and his eyebrows are furrowed together. He’s angry and probably confused, but so am I.

“Excuse me, just a moment,” I announce to the class. I walk over to the door, and Jordan is standing there with a smile on his face. He backs out of the classroom as I get to the door.

“What are you doing here?” I ask once I’ve closed the door and we’re in the hallway.

“You look cute up there teaching. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you teach before.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask again. It’s not every day that your ex-boyfriend shows up to your work for no damn reason.

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.”

“No, you haven’t,” I say, trying to remember if I’m missing something.

“I called you the other day.” I think about it and realize I saw a missed call from him last weekend. He called while Wes and I were … you know, busy.