Page 82 of One Breath After Another

Roz let out a hard breath. “Yeah, see, when you lay it all out like that—it’s a harder pill to swallow than the way I make myself think about it, Penny.”

Honesty was a killer.

But ... “That was my life, though.”

“And I’m so sorry.”

“I know, Roz. I do.”

“But it doesn’t help, does it.”

Well, that was the thing about it.

Penny smiled faintly, whispering, “It does help.”

Baby Cross reached for her, and she held his tiny hand with three fingers that he tried to pull into his drool-filled mouth.

“It helps to have people who really love me,” she added, not looking Roz in the eye. “Because you mean it—you really are sorry for the things that happened to me even if you weren’t a cause or able to stop it. For the first time ever, I didn’t feel crazy, Roz. When I felt bad ... when I knew things weren’t right, I was told I was wrong. It’s the people who love me and tell me they’re sorry for what others did to me that taught me I wasn’t wrong at all. In a lot of ways.”

“Oh, Penny—”

“Do you really want to know?” she asked Roz, swallowing hard. “If she knew ... the truth?”

Unshed tears filled Roz’s eyes when Penny met her gaze. “You told me once ... one of the first times we met, actually, that if you opened your mouth and started talking about everything, nothing would be the same, right?”

“But I only talked a little.”

“Enough to put your father in prison,” Roz returned.

“Enough to be free. Do you want the truth?” Penny asked again.

Roz blinked, the tears falling when she whispered, “I do.”

“She always knew.”

The silence came without mercy.

Roz held a little tighter to her infant son, glancing down the hall where Allegra had disappeared to return to her lawyers. “Sh-she smiled and seemed purposefully nice and—something felt wrong about it. He wouldn’t let her touch his hand. Did you see that?”

Baby Cross was back to babbling and smacking the side of his hand against his mouth. A typical baby. But for a second, yes, Penny had seen the way the baby pulled away from her mother. Like a part of him instinctually knew she was all wrong.

The same way Penny knew.

Just like Roz said it all felt wrong.

“Are we ready or what?” Luca asked, breaking Penny and Roz’s locked gazes as he came around the corner of the hallway with dripping wet hands. “Ignore the water—they only had blow dryers, and everybody knows that shit spreads everything. They’ll airdry. Are we ready to go now, or what?”

“Yeah,” Roz said, “we’re ready. Let’s go.”

Penny was happy to follow along, only wanting to get as far away from her mother as she possibly could. At the same time, all she could think about was her mother’s parting words to her.

I’ll be watching you. All of you.

Allegra’s threats against Penny and anyone close to her weren’t empty. But what could she do now?

How could Penny protect anyone? She hadn’t even been able to protect herself.

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