Page 51 of Last Christmas in London

Josh shook his head; his face twisted in anger. ‘Unbelievable. You act like the world owes you something.’

Megan forced him back towards the door. Josh stumbled but caught himself, his eyes flicking to me. ‘Evie?’

It was in moments like these I wished I had more than two best friends. I was stuck between them, having to make a choice and in my mind the choice was shockingly clear: Megan needed me more.

‘Josh, just go.’ My voice was barely a whisper.

His face hardened. He turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

I barely had time to exhale before Megan spun on me.

‘You should go too.’ She was scooping Alfie off the sofa, holding him close to her like a shield.

‘Megan…’ I started, confused.

‘You knew, didn’t you?’

I opened my mouth, closed it.

‘You didn’t say anything,’ she went on, as if narrating it to herself.

‘Please, Megan.’ I wiped away my tears. ‘I didn’t think Josh would bring up Zach tonight, nor do I think what he’s doing is right. But it’s his life.’

‘But you said nothing. You didn’t say anything to me, and you’ve known since… when? When you got back?’ I didn’t respond and she knew it was true. ‘Weeks, Evie. And you could tell things were bad between me and Alex!’

‘It wasn’t my business.’ I hated how defensive I sounded – though I wasn’t sure any more if that was because I was wrong or because I was being cornered.

She let out a short, sharp laugh. ‘Not your business?’

I stepped forward instinctively, but she flinched almost violently…

‘You stood there and watched me make a fool of myself?’ Her voice cracked.

‘I didn’t think—’ I started helplessly, stopping to regain my composure. It wouldn’t help if I lost it in this situation, even if Megan’s inability to see my side was aggravating. ‘Megan, I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t my secret to tell. And if it had been the other way around – if you had trusted me with something like this – I would have protected you too.’ Megan said nothing and refused to look my way.

‘I know you’re hurt,’ I said softly. ‘And I know this is about more than Josh. But please don’t make me the stand-in for everything that’s gone wrong.’

Her chest was heaving in fury, but I wasn’t even sure if she heard me at all.

‘I didn’t know things were this bad with you and Alex,’ I said, softer now. ‘You’ve never really talked about it.’

Her head snapped up, eyes blazing. ‘Oh, so it’s my fault I didn’t send out a newsletter or hand signals or bloody semaphore about how miserable I’ve been.’

‘Was Alex cheating?’ I asked before I could stop myself.

She barked a bitter, humourless laugh. ‘I don’t know. Maybe. Probably.’ She shifted Alfie to her other shoulder, blinking fast. ‘No, I know he did. I guess he just had the guts to do what I didn’t.’

The words seemed to rip out of her, unplanned. She caught herself, breathing hard.

‘Megan…’ I began stepping towards her.

‘Don’t,’ she snapped.

Alfie started to cry again, unsettled by the tension. Megan swayed slightly, trying to calm him.

‘I kissed someone,’ she spoke calmly, with painful frustration. ‘Someone else, before Alfie was born. One stupid kiss. I stopped before anything else happened. I thought that meant something. I thought it made me better.’ She laughed again, a broken, hollow sound. ‘Turns out it just made me a bigger idiot.’

My heart squeezed painfully.