Page 30 of Chalk It Up

I do my best to help my kids with their end-of-the-day routine, but I’m so keyed up from my conversation with Mrs. Johnston that I can barely see straight. I mask my frustration well enough and see each of my kids out of the door with a smile, some high-fives, some hugs, depending on what the kid feels they need at the moment. And some don’t need anything at all but a happy wave goodbye.

I see August’s SUV come up next in the pick-up line and all my frustration is replaced with fluttering. It’s unreal how just seeing him makes all the other issues I’ve had simply evaporate. Gone like they never existed and it’s just him. I call Addie up from her desk, letting her know her dad is here to get her.

“I hope you’re coming to my house today, Ms. Jake.” Addie shouts enthusiastically on her way to my door. It sets me a little on edge at the prospect of anyone around us hearing. But then I remind myself that the gossip would be because of a misconstrued perspective, not anything we’re actually doing wrong. So I do my best to let that nervousness go.

“You know, I think I just might be but you should still ask your dad anyway.” I give her a little wink and send her on her way. We don’t want to hold up the line and draw even more attention than necessary to ourselves. Especially with Mrs. Johnston’s threat looming over my head from the other side of the school yard. There’s no way she can take my job away from me.

I always love my drive home. My short drive has so much variety to it. I get to be blanketed by tall pines and then welcomed by quaint, old Main Street buildings. And in the fall, when the few deciduous trees we do have change color, its captivating. Honestly, I just love driving and I love my small town, so there’s very little that I find myself complaining about. Except sometimes the people in the town give me some pause, but that’s anywhere I suppose. It just feels more concentrated here because we all sort of live on top of each other.

I grab Maple from our house and start our little drive to the other side of the lake to August’s house which feels like a mansion compared to my little rental. I’m hoping that the company I rent from will one day rent-to-sell because I’d love to call the little space my own.

Already knowing where to take Maple, I park and just help myself over to the kennels where Maple is clearly excited to see all of the friends she’s made. She’s running farther in front of me than she usually does considering her body is five centimeters off the ground, and then starts pawing at the gorgeous enclosure for me to let her in. I’m certain that if I gave her the option, she would choose to live here, and I don’t blame the girl.

I head back to the main house and just take in the scene around me. Pine Lake is breathtakingly gorgeous, and the sun is near the end of setting given the time of year it is. The sunset just makes everything even more tranquil. Most residents of Pine Lake live on or within walking distance of the lake. I’m thankful I live on the lake and have a gorgeous view, but from the side of the lake that August is on, he faces west, making the sunset even more captivating.

I have a good enough distance between me and the house that I use the time to mentally sort through everything that happened today, mull it over, and let it drop out of my brain forever. Doing my best to tick things off as well as Thea does.

My chat with Emmett went great so really, he’s not a factor in anything right now. I think he’ll be a good friend to have down the road, but I’m glad we agreed that neither of us really felt anything electric on the date.

Von Logging is doing a great job on the set and I’m confident it's going to be beautiful and done ahead of schedule, so I’m not worried about that either.

August feels like he’s all of a sudden a communication king who grew from angry grunts to full, emotion-filled sentences, so him agreeing that we should talk tonight about everything that’s happened almost feels liberating.

I’m not anxious about that conversation at all, but giddy. I can’t wait to lay down all of my cards because I’m genuinely confident that what I’m feeling for August is going to be reciprocated. I want something to happen and I’m happy that he most likely feels the same way too. I’m still so nervous about my attacks and putting someone through having to constantly worry about that with me. And I’m apprehensive about how Addie would feel about it, if she even wants someone coming in and ruining what she and August already have.

But the biggest concern on my shoulder right now is Mrs. Johnston. I know that she can’t actually have me fired for tutoring Addie or talking to August. Both of those are literally in my job description, and I haven’t done anything inappropriate. I’m not sure where, what happened between August and I on my date, falls within the category of appropriate, but that’s a problem for future Evangeline.

What’s really a brain teaser to me is why Mrs. Johnston even cares in the first place. Why is she paying such close attention to me and August? She’s married so it’s definitely not for her own personal gain…I hope. Gross. I’m not even going to consider that. There’s quite a little age gap between August and myself with him being thirty-two and me being twenty-four, but Mrs. Johnston is like fifty-something and that feels icky to me. To each their own, that’s just my opinion.

“Hey.” I’m effectively snapped out of my reverie by the smoothest, most comforting voice I’ve ever heard. I zone back in from my appreciation of all of the nature around us to find the most beautiful man, standing on his porch waiting for me with the most playful smirk on his face.

My heart is full to bursting at the sight. I want to see it every day. I've never felt a yearning quite this deep, but I have to remember so much is at stake here between my job, my struggles, and Adeline’s feelings. It’s just not feasible.

“Hey.” I slightly smile back at him feeling much more shy than I really need to. August has never given me a reason to lack any kind of confidence. If anything, he’s done the complete opposite. He’s afforded me so much comfort that I know I could stumble in any area of life and he would be there to catch me. It reignites a fire in me to try things I enjoy and explore being my own person again outside of being a teacher and anxious mess.

“Dinner is just about ready. I’m pretty confident they will be the best shrimp tacos you’ve ever had. You might not want to ever leave after trying them.” Little does he know I don’t want to leave now. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. But once all of my concerns are aired out, he’ll see he doesn’t want a future here past the platonic, parent/teacher relationship we have now.

I’m mentally prepared to accept that, but I know it’ll still sting. The thing is I’m sure that August feels the same way I do, so it won’t be anything personal. Just a purely logistical decision that needs to be made.

“Well, enough chatting, more eating. Let’s put these amazing shrimp tacos to the test.” I jest at him while I make my way up the stairs of his porch and give him a little shoulder check. I’ll play this fun flirting game as long as we can.

“Yeah, I never want to leave. There’s no competition against these tacos. They put all other tacos to shame.” I practically moan while dabbing my mouth clean and setting my napkin back on the table. I’m pretty sure August mentioned his mother taught him how to cook, and she did a very good job. Even the street tortillas were delicious. August says he dips them in olive oil before warming them on the skillet so as to give them a crispier texture.

I’m fearful I’ll never enjoy a taco that isn’t made by him. Topped with things I never thought of, namely an incredible crumbly cheese. I might need to start stashing that away with my Vermont sharp because that was delicious. He just laughs slightly to himself at my comment about never leaving, and I kind of wish he didn’t think it was a joke. “So Addie, should we help your dad clear the table and then get started on your lines? I know you’ve hit a rough patch, but you’re close to having it all memorized, and that’s a big deal.”

“Yeah! Let’s do it!” She bounds away from the table and starts grabbing dishes to drop in the sink. August and Adeline fall naturally into their post-dinner flow of cleaning up and I don’t feel as much as an outsider. It felt slightly comfortable at first to be around and watch their dynamic, but even more so now it just feels right.

I watch as they both move to a dance they choreographed by accident together, when August gets a text on his phone that pulls him away from their steps. I don’t know who it’s from and obviously it’s none of my business, but whatever it says causes him to roll his eyes and scrub his hand across his stubbled jawline. Something tells me it’s a really big deal, but I try to not dwell on it. No anxiety here. If only it were that easy.

“Well, hey, Ads. You have a lot of work to do so don’t worry about these dishes.” August promises while pocketing his phone. “How about you grab a couple of cookies for you and Ms. Jake and you guys can get started on your tutoring?” Offering me food might literally be the fastest way to my heart, and feeding me seems to be his love language. They always say that’s the case about men; the fastest way to their heart is through their stomach, but had whoever said that actually met a woman? Because give me a good cookie and I’m putty.

“Oh yay! That sounds yummy! Ms. Jake, you’re going to love these cookies. My grandma taught my daddy how to make them. They’re his favorites. But I think I told you that already.” Her enthusiasm for life is so refreshing.

“Well if you made them, I love them already.” I promise while she slides back into the table next to me. We settle in easily for her tutoring and she’s already made such incredible progress. There are still some letters that she’s switching and blends that are giving her pause, but she understands the excerpt well enough that context is helping her figure out the words.

I take a bite into the cookie and moan the most ungodly sound in mixed company. I am mortally embarrassed when I look over at August who’s staring at me with an unreadable face while not paying attention to the dishes he’s rinsing off. The tension is as thick as these cookies, but the knife of Adeline’s little giggle slices right through it and the moment is gone. I laugh back to her brushing off whatever palpable exchange just happened between me and her dad. “Sorry, that is just easily the most delicious cookie I’ve ever had. I expected them to be good, but not this good. Thank you for sharing, Addie.”

I refocus us on her lines in an attempt to brush off how sheepish I’m feeling now even though Addie is entirely oblivious to what happened. We continue for the next thirty or so minutes before Addie starts yawning, a clear indicator that we’re done for the night.