Page 33 of Hard to Love

“I’m not trying to fool anybody, asshole. You know what? Fuck you. I knew it. I tried to tell her. I fought this all the way, but there’s no fighting Thayer. I’m not giving her up, goddamn it.” As much as I’d like to, I can’t glower at him. Lowering my eyes, I sigh.

“Hardy. Hardy, look at me, man. Damn. Do you really think that little of me? Of our friendship? Man, you gotta know, I love you. I’m not sure why you think so little of my family or me. Have we not treated you with fairness? You’re my brother. You’ve been my brother for almost as long as Thayer’s been, my sister. So why do you think I would disapprove?” Staring at One, I realize my mouth’s agape.

“What? I mean, it’s me, Hardy. I’m a fuck up; I’ve had a shitty life, I’ve been addicted to drugs and did time in jail. You know what a mess you found me in when I was in Charleston. I’m a terminal playboy. The look in your eyes at the hospital let me know there was no way in hell you’d let this happen.” Shaking my head, I twist back in my seat, leaving my head down in defeat.

“Don’t give me that load of horse shit, you fucking asshole. I’m pissed as hell you’d keep this from me. We talked about her at your place. Fuck, I talked to Thayer about you. You want Thayer? Well, you better be prepared to do one thing.” One looks at me, his eyebrows pulled down tightly. He’s angry as hell.

“What’s that? I’ll do anything,” I plead with him to understand how much I’d give up for her.

“Be honest. Tell her everything, just like you’ve always told me.” One’s eyes are soft, not a hard line in his brow. Just like he did so many years ago.

“I’ll do my best. I thought you were gonna kick my ass, old man.” I shake my head as my tension dissipates.

“Who said I wasn’t?” One chuckles as he punches me in the arm before turning his attention back to the road.

One has so much going on with Lea and all of his job sites having issues. I really don’t know how he does it all. Then behind his back, his best friend hooks up with his little sister. Damn, I’m glad he didn’t beat the shit outta me.

State inspectors were at the site all day, and One’s so on edge he could explode any minute. Which puts me in the position of being by his side all day to make sure he doesn’t, leaving me with no time to text Thayer to let her know I’m okay. That we’re okay.

By the time my ass hits my truck seat, I race to Thayer. I can’t believe one day away from her has done this to me. I’m a crazed lunatic trying to drive and text her at the stoplights. Yeah, don’t do as I do, do as I say. Don’t text and drive.

By the third light, I still haven’t gotten a response. I try to play it cool and send another to be sure she doesn’t need anything. We’ve fallen into a habit of going to her place every other day. She even gets Lulu from my place if I’m running late. It’s comfortable. Good.

About the time my phone alerts me, I’m turning into her neighborhood. Glancing down at the text, I see she’s scared, and Lulu’s going off. That can only mean one thing, Eric. Lulu hates him almost as much as I do. But why is he at Thayer’s? Fucker.

Taking a right onto her street, I spot him immediately. What the hell does he think he’s doing? Mother fucker is signing his death wish coming around Thayer. I’ve warned him, he’ll not get to her. No matter what it costs me.

Slamming my truck in park, I jump out at a dead run toward Eric. He’s standing there with his arms crossed as if he’s entitled to be here. To be a part of my life. Maybe he once was, but not anymore. I’ve had enough; it’s time to put an end to this shit.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Eric?” I demand of him as I stalk closer. He smirks at me as I stand in front of him, seething.

“You know exactly why I’m here, Hardy. Tell her, or I will.” Eric narrows his eyes as he threatens me. I grab him by his shirt, pushing him against his beat-up Ford. His body hits with such force, he cringes. It’s then I hear Thayer; there’s no stopping me.

“I’ll kill you. Do you understand? I’ll finish you. I’ve had enough; I’ve paid my penance. Now, stay the fuck away from her.” Thayer tugs on my arm as she repeats my name over and over. Eric’s smile grows while the scene unfolds. “Stay away from here. Do you understand?” I repeat in a menacing tone.

“Yeah, I hear you. Did you hear me?” Eric’s eyes shift from me to Thayer, who’s standing beside me with a look of horror on her face.

“I heard you, now leave. I mean it, Eric. Don’t come back here.” Releasing his shirt, I step away from him. Silently praying he’ll just walk away. It’s too much to ask.

“For now. I’ll go for now. But you need to come to see me. Thayer, you have a nice evening.” Nodding at Thayer, he opens his door, stepping in as I help close it.

“Don’t, Eric,” I warn him once more before he leaves. His answer is a wink toward Thayer as he flashes a grin and then pulls away.

“What the fuck was this? Who is that, Hardy?” Thayer’s arms are crossed over her chest; she’s closed herself completely off from me.

“It’s nothing, Thayer.” Turning away from her, I take deep breaths, gathering myself so I can tell her the truth. Thayer walks away from me before I can respond.

For the third time since meeting Thayer, I’m allowed to walk away. A good man wouldn’t have to; he would stay with no fear of what the future could bring. I’m not a good man, I keep telling her, but she’s not listening. By God, I’m selfish. Following her through the front door, she rounds on me and unloads.

“Will there ever be a time that you trust me?” Thayer’s eyes are glassy and so unlike her.

“Trust you? How about the fact you question me at every fucking turn, goddamn it?” I can’t even explain what I’m thinking right now. She has every right to question me.

“You’re right. I spend so much time figuring out what you haven’t told me that trusting you is hard. But I can tell you one thing for certain. Until you trust this”—she waves her finger between us—“we’ll never make it.” Her eyes are no longer glassy; the tears she was holding back are now running down her face.

“Thayer, it’s nothing. Eric is a part of a past I want to forget. You, yourself said, I had the right to put it to rest.” Stepping closer, I reach for her, but she steps back.

“Didn’t look to me like he’s ready to put anything to rest,” she says as she leans against the doorframe, her hands shoved into her pockets.