Page 20 of The Summer Plans

Raven: You have a note on your phone with slang words for penis?

Bella. Doesn’t everyone?

Lucy:

Raven: No, sweetie.

Me: NO!

Lucy: If our books used any of those terms, it would be an instant DNF for me.

Bella: Could you imagine? He thrust his baby batter blaster deep inside me…

Lucy:

Me: Can we focus? The broken penis cookies pissed off the overprotective dad. And I’m still stuck with him in this house for the rest of the week.

Raven: Tell him to stop being a grumpy idiot. Better yet, I’ll do it.

——————

I open the fridge and grab the chicken breasts, placing them on the counter.

“What’s all this?” Sophie asks, coming up behind me.

“I’m making homemade chicken nuggets.”

She leans against the counter. “Why not just buy them?”

“A lot of store-bought brands use egg in the breading. Some brands are egg-free, but the other two don’t like them, so I started making them.”

“Can I help?”

I look up at her and smile. “I would love that.”

Grabbing a cutting board, I show Sophie how to cut up the chicken. It’s nice having help like this. My kids are helpful, Lana more than her brothers, but even her attention span is short with some of this stuff. And I don’t let the boys cook without my supervision.

“Now what?” Sophie brushes her hair out of her face with her forearm.

“We dip them in buttermilk. Then toss them in the flour and spice mixture to coat them.”

I place the flour bowl in front of her, and we create an assembly line of nugget coating. We’re making decent progress when RJ walks in the kitchen. His presence overwhelming even though he’s nowhere near me. It’s difficult, but I ignore him as I continue dipping chicken chunks into the buttermilk then drop them in the bowl for Sophie to toss in flour.

“Why did my sister tell me to stop being a tally whacker?” Sophie huffs out a laugh and flour flies up out of the bowl creating a cloud in front of her.

I can’t hold in my laughter, which only makes her laugh harder.

“Dad! You’re gonna make me pee my pants!”

He frowns, and I bite my lips as I try to control my giggles. “I think she meant ‘don’t be a dick.’”

“Is this about the cockies?” RJ asks right as Logan walks in.

“You owe me five dollars.” Logan frowns at RJ.

RJ scratches his neck. “What did I say?”

“You said a bad word.”