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‘Lily?’ she asked, her voice a little croaky.
‘Hey.’ It was not the same tone she’d heard in Venice. Now her sister sounded small, uncertain. ‘I, umm, saw the photos of Abi’s wedding on your Instagram and it . . .’ She cleared her throat. ‘Well, I’ve been thinking of you.’
There were a million questions Holly could be asking right now, but all that actually made it out of her mouth was, ‘You know who Abi is?’
‘Well, Mum fills me in. And social media, you know.’
There was a beat of silence between them as Holly moved to perch on the edge of the bed. Her heart was thudding gently in her chest – waiting. ‘Lily, I—’
‘I’m sorry, Holly,’ she blurted out.
‘You’re . . . sorry?’
‘About the last time you called. I shouldn’t have . . . I didn’t mean . . . There is a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and I was stressed and then you called. And it was a bad time. I wasn’t at home. I . . . I was at the doctor’s, actually.’
‘You were?’ So, she’d been right.
‘Yes. I . . . There is some stuff . . . They’ve been doing a lot of tests over the last two years and, well, it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to get pregnant.’
‘Oh, Lily.’ Holly felt her stomach tighten. Lily’s hopes of being a mother, gone. No wonder her sister hadn’t been able to talk to her.
‘No, now’s not the time, I’m just trying to explain why I was so short with you. When you called, I was at the doctor’s, and I knew what they were about to tell me, and it just made me think . . . It reminded me of that day, and what I lost.’
Because of you. Holly could hear the words – even if Lily’s voice did not now hold the same icy blame as it had in the hospital all those years ago.
‘It’s no excuse. And it wasn’t you, Holly, but I didn’t know how to deal with it all, and when I saw your number come up, I thought it must be because something terrible had happened, because why else would you be calling? And then you just wanted to talk to me and I didn’t know how to . . .’ She took a breath, and it sounded shaky. ‘But I’m here, looking at the cake toppers you made for me, like the ones on Abi’s cake, and—’
‘You kept them?’
‘Of course I did.’
Quiet descended between them again, but it was less awkward this time. Dimly, Holly could hear a man’s voice out in the corridor outside her room. Jack, she thought, and her heart leapt a little.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve wanted to talk to you for so long, wanted to hear your voice, and now I . . .’
‘I know,’ Lily whispered.
‘You know?’
‘Of course – you don’t think I’ve wanted to speak to you too?’
‘Well, no,’ Holly admitted. ‘I thought you never wanted to speak to me again, actually.’
‘Oh, Holly, I’m so sorry. I didn’t . . .’ She took another breath and it was hitched this time. ‘It’s my fault – so much of it is my fault. There’s a lot we have to talk about.’
‘I know. I’d like to talk to you about it all someday.’ The fact that Lily wanted to talk about it gave Holly hope.
‘Will you meet up with me? Mum and Dad too, if you don’t want to see me alone.’
‘I don’t mind seeing you alone,’ Holly said, her voice sounding distant. She was still trying to take it all in. Lily wanted to see her. Lily was worried that she wouldn’t want to meet.
‘Really?’
‘Of course, Lily.’
‘Shall I . . . Shall I send you some dates?’ Lily’s voice was hesitant.
‘Yeah. Yes, please do that.’