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“Nah, I don’t know, Luv. What does having fun mean? Dates? Laid up? Tell me, I really want to know.” I put my hand underneath my chin with my elbow on my leg.

“You should just tell him Passion.” Luv rolled her eyes and stood up straight.

“Sit your grown acting ass down. I didn’t dismiss you, I really think you starting to get above yourself Luv.” I dared her to say some smart shit back. I eyed her down until she took a seat. Passion started biting on her nails, she did that shit whenever she was nervous about some shit. I knew my sisters like I knew myself.

“I’m a lesbian, Teddy.” Her eyes watered as my mouth fell open. I wasn’t prepared for that shit.

“Ever since that night at the park when you know…” She swallowed down hard and wiped at her face. I knew what night she was talking about. It was the night I saved her and my mom at the park. My mom was so desperate for drugs, she let a bunch of men beat and rape her with Passion standing there watching. Who knows how far the shit would have gone if I didn’t come when I did.

“I just don’t see boys the way that I should. I like girls, they listen to me and they don’t pressure me for sex and act how boys at my school do.” She confessed and looked away from me.

“Look at me Passion. You don’t got to be ashamed of shit man. I love you however you are baby girl. I just got to know what’s going on with you so I can be there and give you advice. Bitches- I mean girls can be shady too and they can give you diseases as well. They also can break your heart. Humans are imperfect, that’s some shit you just got to know aight?” She nodded her head as I held my arms out to her.

Standing up, she walked my way and sat right on my knee and put her arms around my neck like she was a baby.

“I didn’t want you to be mad at me, or ashamed that I was gay.” I shook my head quickly.

“No, why would I act that way with you? Look at Uncle Berto… do you see me treating him different or being mean to him because of his feminine ways and his sexuality?” she shook her head no.

“Okay then, don’t ever think some shit like that. I just don’t want you feeling like cause what happened to momma could happen to you. All men not like that, this could just be a phase for you. You might grow out of the shit or you might stay lesbian. I don’t really know how the shit works.” I chuckled and pinched her chubby cheek.

“Whatever it is, I’m all in and here for you. You still too young to be focused on laying up. Making out or whatever the hell your sneaky ass is out here doing.” I scolded her.

“I’m about to call y’all doctors and set some doctors appointments too.” Luv was the first one to smack her lips. Passion stood up and went back to sit across from me. She looked like she was relieved to get that off her chest and I was happy that she opened up and told me that.

“What date you going on Luv?” now that she was in the hot seat she squirmed and looked off. I cleared my throat bringing her focus back on me.

“A boy I met at my community college.”

“Oh okay, he coming here to meet you?” she shook her head no.

“Well now he is, tell that lil nigga pull up around eight p.m, so he can introduce himself.”

“Soulful, he’s just a friend though. All the extra’s isn’t needed.” Luv attitude got on my last nerves but I wasn’t folding to some teenager that thought she knew everything when in reality, Luv ain’t know shit.

“It’s needed and since the nigga is just a friend then I think that it’s only right that I get to know him. I’ll be back in less than an hour.” I got up and walked out the house, not really wanting to leave now.

Pulling up in front of Jocelyn house, Era started calling. I answered on the second ring and could tell from her background she was already at the studio.

“I just wanted to call and tell you that I apologize Soul. I get in my feelings and it scares me that I’m having all these strong feelings so fast for you. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened between Devin and I.” I leaned my head back and sighed hard as hell because I already knew why she had pulled the shit that she pulled earlier.

I thought about my sisters and how out of tune I was with them and knew what I had to do.

“I accept your apology, Era. I think its best we slow shit down anyway. We both got a lot on our plates. I got my sisters and this football shit. With you, you got the studio and focusing on your music career. The main thing that’s going to keep us connected is the baby. I want to be involved and I will be involved. You know how I feel about you too, but a nigga can’t keep expressing that until you get fully over that lame-ass nigga.” We both were quiet for a few minutes before she spoke.

“What happened to all that deep shit you were saying to me Soulful?” Her voice cracked and I knew it was her pregnant hormones getting ready to take over.

“Let’s pour into each other slowly and keep a healthy balance so when our baby comes we can pour into her.” She mocked me as I scratched the top of my head.

“I meant all that shit, everything I say is real and I mean it Era. I just don’t want to be pushing for more with you and then end up wasting my time man. You want to act one way one day then the next it be feeling like we are back like when we first met. I don’t hold you accountable for shit Jah has done to me. I can be on some insecure shit if I wanted to and question you when you on the road, when you at the studio. When we go weeks without seeing each other because our schedules ain’t colliding properly. I don’t do any of that because I’m stepping out on faith with you. I’m trusting you with my heart and shit. I don’t plan on making shit hard on you just because my ex wife did me dirty.” I reasoned, hoping she would get my point.

“I’m not involved with my ex though, Soulful. I don’t find time out of my busy ass schedule to go check on that nigga like he’s a fucking kid like you do with Jocelyn.” She spat and the attitude in her voice was evident.

“Your ex wasn’t your husband, you didn’t know him as long as I knew Jocelyn. I’m not just going to let her fend for herself man. She has a drug habit and some more shit with her. She ain’t really got nobody. This ain’t some battle with the exes type of shit Era.”

“It is! That doesn’t mean shit! You wouldn’t want me if I was still involved with Devin like you are with Jocelyn.”

“You knew this shit from jump though! I laid this shit out to you Era! Why you trying to act like I’m sneaking around with my ex wife? You already know why I’m doing what it is that I’m doing man.” I rubbed down my waves even harder because now I was frustrated as fuck.