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“So.” Christian smacks my chest, his wavy hair damp from our swim. “Haven’t gotten a chance to talk in a while, man. You good?”

Schooling my features, I nod, wiping a layer of sweat from my brow. “Yep. So good.”

So lonely. So broken.

He studies me with hazel eyes, lifting a curved brow. “That sounded hella convincing.”

Panic quickens my pulse, and I fake an easy laugh like I’ve been doing this entire trip. “I am good. I just got drafted into the NFL, and I get to live where it doesn’t snow. Hannah can’t wait to see the red rocks. It’s a dream come true.”

I just wish my best friend could live it with me.

“And that’s why I don’t believe you," Christian scoffs, sometimes sounding so much like Taylor that it throws me. “All of that and not one mention of Val.”

With a shrug, I look away to hide my eyes. “Val is… Val. She’s changed a lot.”

It’s bullshit, for the most part. She’s sober but still mean as hell. Convincing everyone that she’s turned a new leaf seems easier than convincing them I’m happy.

“Hmm.” Christian hums at that, glancing over his shoulder. “Just don’t forget about your friends when you leave, yeah?”

I frown, tilting my head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs, running a hand through his damp hair, his eyes fixed on me. “It means you’re not hard to read, hermano. You’ve been all smiles and jokes this whole trip, but it’s like…no estas aqui. Like there’s a piece of you missing.”

Yeah… because there is.

My throat clogs with emotion, and I force another laugh. “That’s deep, man. Didn’t know you were a philosopher.”

He doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even smirk. “I’m serious. Look, I get it. Val’s sober, you’ve got the NFL, and Hannah’s happy. From the outside, it’s all bueno. But is it, really?”

His words hit harder than I expect, and I swallow hard. “It’s enough.”

“Is it?” he presses, leaning into me. “Because from where I’m standing, you seem fucking miserable.”

“What are you trying to say, Christian?”

He exhales slowly, raising his gaze skyward. “I’m saying you don’t have to fake it, man. Whatever you’re going through, you’ve got people who care about you. Don’t forget that.”

For a moment, I don’t say anything, the weight of his words hanging heavy between us. The ache of everything I’ve been holding back presses down on me, making my shoulders scream in agony, and I shift awkwardly to ease the tension.

“I’m fine,” I tell him, though I know it’s a lie.

Christian doesn’t push; he just shakes his head with a frown. “If you say so. Just remember that it’s cool to talk about your feelings. We all need to sometimes.”

He claps my shoulder again before quickening his pace, heading for a rise on the trail without another word, leaving me alone with his words.

And they echo in my mind the rest of the hike up to Ouzel Falls.

I’m so stuck inside my head that I don’t even have the energy to enjoy the view when we eventually make it to the massive waterfall, its cascading current sparkling in the evening sun.

The group splits off, Christian and Arya probably sneaking away to find some tree to fuck against while Salem disappears to take pictures. Logan follows her, of course, the poor love-sick fool. Xed quietly creeps to the cliff’s edge, dropping down to dangle his feet over the ledge.

I don’t know what I am supposed to do. Everything feels weird, and I shuffle on my feet, debating whether I should go over there or not. The spark of a lighter eventually has me shuffling over to find him gazing down at a lit cigarette, unblinking.

The sight makes my stomach churn.

“What are you doing?”

He jolts, gazing up like he’s surprised to find me beside him, before bringing the cigarette to his lips. “Just thinking.”