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Whenever she’d bring up Levi, I’d interrupt with my own stories, hoping to bore her with tales of dirt and carbon dating, and she dropped the subject. When he’d called me last night to check that everything was okay, I hid in the bathroom to take the call.

After all my big talk about not keeping secrets, here I was hiding the truth from him: Ashleigh was here, her marriage was over, and she was still in love with him. I could rationalize all I wanted that I was doing it so it wouldn’t upset him or distract him from this important mission today. But deep down I knew why I was keeping it a secret.

I was afraid.

Afraid he’d decide what we’d done over the weekend was a mistake, that it had happened because he still felt responsible for me and had wanted to make up for the past. Maybe I reminded him of a time when things were simpler, but he’d realize once he saw Ashleigh that I was still just Indy.

After all, he hadn’t told me he loved me. I hadn’t told him.

I still could though. Taking my phone back up to text him, I started typing out the words but was interrupted by a knock at my door. “Deedee?”

“Yeah?” I asked innocently, sliding the phone under the covers.

Ashleigh pushed the door open and came in carrying a tray. She was breathtakingly beautiful even after a night of ugly crying. Her light brown hair fell around her slim shoulders. She wasn’t wearing makeup, but she didn’t need any.

“I made you breakfast.” She came over to the side of the bed and set the tray down. She’d made scrambled eggs with buttered toast and a little bowl of yogurt with honey and sliced pears.

She climbed into bed and threw her arms around me. “I’m sorry I talked so much about myself last night, Deedee. Today is all about you, okay?” Her tears wet my cheek. “I miss him so much. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you.”

Tears stung my eyes. How could I have forgotten? It happened occasionally that the first thing I would think of on this terrible anniversary was not my brother and I always felt guilty about it afterward. My psychologist back home said it was a good sign, but it made me sad. In the same way that when I closed my eyes and pictured him, his features were blurred at the edges.

I let myself have a little cry in Ashleigh’s arms and then I wiped my tears away. “Thanks, Ash.”

“Wanna do something special today?” she asked.

I shrugged. I couldn’t tell her that I’d promised Levi not to leave the house. “Nah, if you don’t mind, I’m just going to journal a little. Maybe start my new book.”

“All right. I’m going for a run. See you in a bit?”

Knowing that I couldn’t leave the house made me antsy. Did I believe in Levi’s curse? No way. But I intended to keep my promise even though I wanted nothing more than to go to the base to watch him land and then fling myself into his arms.

I pulled out the photo of Josh that I kept on my desk and the meteorite pieces from the drawer. His smaller piece was in there too, and I set them in front of the photo. “Hey, Josh,” I whispered to the photo. “You probably know what I’m about to tell you. You were up there in the clouds with us, and I know you led me to that statue. I wish you were here in person to share this with me. I miss you so much.”

I stopped and cried for a while, staring at his photo. Wishing I could hear his voice. I wondered what he’d say about Levi and me. I liked to believe he’d be happy, but he’d probably cringe and say “gross, spare me the details.”

I laughed, wiping my runny nose on my pajama sleeve. Then went to shower.

***

To Ashleigh’s credit, she didn’t mention Carlton or Levi until that afternoon when I surprised her while she was looking up more information about Aviano.

“Are we allowed to go on base?” she asked.

“No, you have to request a visitor pass,” I warned, taking ingredients out of the fridge for a salad. “Way in advance.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Would you give me Levi’s number then? This must be a difficult day for him as well.”

“I don’t have it,” I said quickly, chopping through a cucumber with a resounding thud against the wood cutting board.

“You don’t have his number?” She narrowed her eyes at me and moved over to my side as I continued chopping away. “Deedee, I know what you’re doing.”

“What?”

“You’re hoping that Carlton and I get back together. You’re trying to protect me. But I assure you that I’ve done a lot of thinking about this. And I know now that I’m really supposed to be with Levi.”

My hand stilled and I had to concentrate on not aiming my knife at her. “How can you say that? You haven’t seen each other in years.”

“It was meant to be. You ran into him at the exact moment when things were going so horribly wrong with Carlton. It’s like the first time we met.”