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Unfortunately, the patrons looked more like investment bankers than a kingpins, and that included my brothers. Part of me registered disappointment over that fact.

Getting into a fight with a member of the mob would’ve helped me blow off steam much better than sipping expensive whiskey while discussing the ambiance provided by the dimly lit crystal chandeliers.

The other part of me, however, the larger part, was too messed up about where I was at with Alicia to register much of anything. I stalked across the carpeted floors like a predator determined to rip apart anything in its path, finally finding Ryan sitting at the corner of the wooden bar with a drink in front of him and Wyatt on one side. Alex stood on the other, but he took one look at me and didn’t even ask if I was okay, which was how I knew I seriously wasn’t.

Instead, he just pointed at a stool and perched his hands on his hips. “Sit. Talk. Wyatt, get the man a drink so he can do that too.”

Seconds after I’d sat down, a tumbler of whiskey appeared in front of me, but I shook my head. “I’m not drinking tonight.”

Ryan’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you dying?”

“Fuck you.”

Wyatt chuckled. “Nah, he sounds fine.”

I blew out a heavy breath and propped my elbows on the bar, burying my face in my hands without really meaning to. It just happened, but it felt right, so I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes and groaned.

“I fucked up,” I muttered, my voice muffled, but Alex must’ve heard me anyway.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Everything.”

I felt him move in beside me at the bar. “Okay, everything. I got that, but maybe you should start at the beginning. What happened, Holden?”

I finally lifted my head, seeing Ryan and Wyatt with identical expressions of worry on their faces, but Alex was calm, so I focused on him. “I fucked it up.”

“Yeah, I heard that part too,” he said quietly. “What exactly is it that you think you fucked up, though?”

“Alicia, and I don’t think I fucked it up. I know it.” All three of them were watching me closely, but no one said anything. No one asked anything, which sucked. I could handle questions. They gave me something to fight against. Silence, on the other hand, gave me nowhere to hide. “You heard what she told Mom at dinner, right?”

“She lost her job.” Alex said, his jaw tightening. “How does that relate to you fucking things up?”

“Parents complained. That’s why she got fired. No one wants the librarian dealing with their kids to be a Thayer.”

Alex’s eyes turned ice cold. “I’ll handle it.”

“No.”

“I can talk to the board. We can⁠—”

“I said no, Alex. The damage is already done.” I looked right at him. “The board can’t change the minds of the community members. Trust me, if I thought it would help, I’d go balls to the wall on this, but I can’t because it would probably only make things worse.”

Ryan groaned. “He might not be wrong. If you do try to strong-arm the board and the community finds out, there’ll be hell to pay. The headlines will be raving about the entitlement of the Westwoods and the Thayers and how we think the rules don’t apply to us.”

Alex scoffed. “They don’t always.”

“Wow. You really are a snob.” Wyatt smirked, but his expression sobered when he turned back to me. “We’re sure that’s what happened? I didn’t hear her tell Mom that.”

“No, but that’s only because she didn’t. She only told me after dinner. It gets worse, though. I didn’t even know she got fired until she told Mom. She didn’t say anything when it happened.”

Alex sighed, squeezing the side of his neck for a beat before he glanced at me again. “Okay, that’s not ideal, but we can find her another position. There are dozens of libraries in Chicago.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” he asked. “We can fix this, Holden.”

“We can’t, because the point is that she didn’t lose her job because she wasn’t good enough. She lost it because she married me.” As I said it, it was like the emotional dam I’d built over the last decade just burst open, spewing feelings I’d been keeping bottled up for years all over Alex’s fancy whiskey bar. “I fucking knew something like this could happen. That’s why I stayed away from people for so long. This family is poison and all of you know it. As soon as we get involved in something, it dies. Like Alicia’s career. Except this time, it wasn’t Dad who did it. It was me. So yeah, I fucked up. I fucked up just by existing in her proximity.”