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“You’re not Court,” Alex said. “Also, not for nothing, you didn’t fuck it up or poison her career, Holden. This is a rough patch. That’s all.”

I scoffed, but the thing about anger was that it was so super useful until it wasn’t, and as soon as it wasn’t useful anymore, it had a tendency to turn into something even uglier. “It’s not a rough patch. It’s what being a selfish dick looks like in real life.”

“What are you talking about?” Wyatt asked quietly, glancing at the drink I still hadn’t touched. “Maybe you should take a sip and⁠—”

“No,” I snapped. “I haven’t told any of you this, but I met Alicia before we got married. She was on that stupid bicycle one night when I was walking home and she nearly got hit by a car. She didn’t, thank God, but from the very first second I saw her, I wanted her.”

Although I hadn’t even admitted it to myself until now, it was true. In that split second when I’d first looked into her eyes, my entire world had narrowed down to one person I hadn’t even known. “I wanted her so fucking badly, but she disappeared. Then I saw her again when I found out she was the roommate of a girl in one of my classes, and I wanted her even more.”

“Then you walked into that conference room and found out she was the girl I was setting you up with,” Alex concluded. Sighing, he gave me the softest smile I’d ever seen on him. “Well, that clears up a few things I’ve been wondering about.”

“Good for you,” I grunted, then sighed and sank my face into my hands again. “I love her, man. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did, and look at where that got her. As soon as I saw her in that conference room, I should’ve turned around and walked away. I shouldn’t have done this to her.”

Alex brought a hand to my shoulder. “You didn’t do this to her. Don’t take responsibility for something other people did. Her getting fired isn’t on you. If anyone is at fault here other than the fucking press, it’s me. I brought her into this, didn’t I?”

“What, so you want me to just pass the buck?” I scoffed. “That’s practically a trademarked Court Thayer move, Alex. He always had some excuse. Someone else to blame. I am responsible for this. It’s on me.”

“No, it’s not,” he said firmly. “First, I’m happy you’re finally starting to realize that you’re not like him, but more than that, this honestly isn’t your fault. The press branded you as something you’re not and they sensationalized your marriage for clickbait. That’s not on you.”

“But I am like him,” I muttered. “I just ruined her life⁠—”

“I hate to break it you, man, but I doubt Dad ever sat in a bar trying to figure out how to protect his wife,” Ryan said dryly. “Court doesn’t get all twisted up about his actions hurting other people.”

I blew out a slow breath. “I still should’ve done a better job of protecting her.”

“None of us can protect the people we love from every asshole in the world,” Alex said. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”

“What does Alicia want?” Ryan asked. “Let’s break up this pity party and think logically. What does she want?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“Have you asked her?”

I gave him a look. “She won’t talk to me. We got into it back at the hotel and now…”

He arched an eyebrow at me. “Have you given her a reason not to talk to you?”

I almost told him to fuck off again, but instead, I drew in a deep breath. “Yeah, I did, and now, I think she’s wondering if marrying me was a mistake. The worst part is that she’s right. She never should’ve done it.”

Alex sighed. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

I nodded, but I didn’t tell him I wasn’t sure there was anything left to figure out anymore. I also didn’t tell him that I’d basically told her to leave me despite the fact that she might be pregnant with my child. Fuck, that still seems so surreal.

“I have to go.” I suddenly pushed to my feet, leaving before any of them could ask why, but Ryan had been right.

I should’ve found out what she wanted, and now that I knew that, I just hoped it wasn’t too late. When I pushed out into the crisp night, sirens blared in the distance and music spilled out of bars and clubs all around me, but I hardly even noticed any of it.

All I could think about was Alicia. How pale she’d been. How quiet. Her period being late didn’t necessarily mean anything. Even I knew that.

God, I’d put her under enough stress lately that I might’ve scared it away forever, but also, it could mean something, and if it did? Holy shit. A baby. Our baby. She might be pregnant with my child.

Instead of terror or fear whipping through me at the realization, it was like a chest of hope had cracked open, flooding me with the emotion so intensely that I almost couldn’t breathe. My feet slammed to a stop completely by themselves, part of me wanting to burst out into hysterical laughter while another thought we should opt for tears.

A devil on my shoulder whispered that we should just run all the way back to the hotel and celebrate until the sun came up. Preferably while naked, and sweaty, and⁠—

I groaned. Fuck, this moment really should’ve been so different.

Instead of happiness and celebration, my wife was lying alone in a hotel bed in a city she didn’t know, angry and hurting. It almost knocked the wind right back out of my sails, but then I thought back to the conversation I’d just had with my brothers and I pulled my phone out of my pocket, making a call I never thought I’d make as I kept walking down the street.