Page 47
“Is anyone truly ever ready?”
He offered me a gentle smile. “I guess not. Do you know what you’ll tell him?”
I shook my head, wringing a pair of socks in my hands like I was trying to squeeze the color out of them. “I have no idea. I still don’t know what I am,” I said, blowing out an exasperated breath.
“You don’t have to be anything,” Ryan explained, zipping up his bag. “Queer is an umbrella term for a reason.”
I sat up and opened my knees to give Ryan room to step between my legs. “It just doesn’t feel like… me.”
“You don’t have to put a label on anything if you don’t want to,” Ryan shrugged.
“What about you?”
“I’m gay, you know that.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I took a deep breath. “I’d like to introduce you to my dad as my boyfriend.”
When Ryan didn’t say anything, I lifted my gaze to meet his. He was smiling at me, that adorable flush coloring his cheeks. “Okay.”
“If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to—”
“No.” Ryan silenced me with a hand through my curls. “You’ve done a lot of things for me—I can do this for you.”
He ducked, sweeping me up in a kiss so sweet that I found myself reaching out for more when he pulled away. “You know I’d never knowingly put you in harm’s way, right?”
“I know,” he whispered. “That’s why I’m doing it. I trust you.”
Ryan’s leg bouncing on the drive to my dad’s was the only outward sign of nerves I saw. It was either that or it was another potty dance but given the circumstances, I was going with the first option.
I’d always idolized my dad. He was my best friend—he always had been.
But as I sat in his driveway and shut off the truck, my tumultuous thoughts had my stomach churning. I didn’t have a single thought that my dad would react negatively, but that didn’t stop the doubts from creeping in.
My blood pressure skyrocketed as I stared at my dad’s front door. My eyes burned and before I could stop it, a single tear escaped and trailed down my cheek.
“Baby, why are you crying?” Ryan brushed the traitorous drop away with his thumb. “Are you that scared?”
I shook my head, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes. “No… it—it’s my dad. I’m not scared. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m not normally this weak.”
“Sweetheart, crying doesn’t make you weak. It’s not a bad thing. If anything, I think it makes a person stronger. What you’re about to do is incredibly brave. There are plenty of people in the world that haven’t come out.”
I took a deep breath, collapsing against the headrest and blinking the burning away from my eyes. “Maybe I should just be one of those.”
“Absolutely not,” Ryan said with a laugh as he took my hand. “You can do this.”
A frustrated groan, and I opened the door. “Let’s get it over with before I chicken out.”
With each step toward the front door, my heart beat a little faster, a bit harder—until I was sure the damned thing was about to come up my throat. Swallowing hard, I knocked with a shaky hand. Footsteps descended the stairs and I felt Ryan quickly brush a soothing touch against my lower back.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, swiftly dropping his hand before the door opened.
Thankfully, my dad didn’t have the ability Charlie did to read me, and his surprise upon seeing me was enough to throw anything else out the window. “Genie!” His deep, booming voice rang out as he threw his arms open to pull me in for a hug. “What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I-I know,” I stuttered through the thundering claps he put on my back. “I was in town and thought I’d drop by. There’s someone I want you to meet.” Short, quick, and to the point…
Dad turned his blue eyes to Ryan and held his hand out. “Jason Coleman,” he said confidently. “Nice to meet you.”
I took the initiative this time, placing my hand on the small of Ryan’s back, letting the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips give me the courage I needed. “This is my boyfriend, Ryan.”