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Holly snickered. “She mentioned that, yes.”
A man came out of the adjacent bathroom, face hidden by the dim lighting and wide brim of his cowboy hat. Black button-down and Wranglers, like half the other cowboys in this bar. He noted Lila and Lennon and turned sideways to fit around them in the narrow hallway, his hands up like he was being arrested. I kept my gaze locked on him until he had cleared them, and jerked my chin in a nod of recognition when the cowboy moved from the hallway into the light.
“Hey, boss,” he greeted me.
“Billy,” I returned.
He sent a nervous glance over his shoulder, then tapped the brim of his hat. “Hat’s right here on my own head.”
“Keep it that way.” My eyes stayed on him until he was back at his table.
Holly raised an eyebrow. “You scared him.”
“That was the point. So what did Lila say about me?”
She laughed. “I’m not telling you. They’d kick me out of the friend group.”
“Since when do you care, Holly Jolly?” I clapped my hand over my chest in mock shock. “Holy shit, is it happening? Are you becoming a real girl?”
Her eyes narrowed on me. “I will kill you, Seb. Now shut up. They’re coming.”
“Hey,” I said as Lila came closer.
She looked in my general direction without quite meeting my gaze. “Hey. Do you mind if we make it an early night? I’m ready to go home.”
“Yeah. Of course. I’ll settle the tab.”
“Thanks.” She wedged herself under my arm and slid my hand into her back pocket. Her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes when she looked up at me. “A deal’s a deal.”
I kept her right by my side as I paid the tab and we said our goodbyes. But no matter how closely I held her, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to rip her away from me.
THE GHOST
Mercy River. A fitting name for a sanctuary.
Acres of open space. The churning river, lower now from lack of rain. Jagged mountain peaks that stretch to a cloudless sky.
Nature is healing, as they say, but it’s more than that. It’s the camaraderie. Unhappy souls find solace in each other. It’s lonely, living through shit no one should have to endure. Out there, everyone treats you like you’re crazy. A grenade with the pin pulled. But here, at Mercy River, they understand. They pull each other from the darkness.
And yet they let me sink.
Fuck all of them.
She doesn’t belong here, and they know it. She’s been loved and cared for every day of her life. She doesn’t know what the darkness feels like because she is the light. And so they flock to her like moths.
I’m an outsider here, the same as I have been everywhere else. No one sees me. No one helps me. They’re too concerned with her. Running to save her every time the delicate princess suffers the smallest discomfort. Who the fuck cares if some drunk guy puts his arm around her? The way they all rushed in to comfort her made me sick. She wasn’t even hurt. No one ever asked me about my black eyes or the marks on my arms and legs.
They’re obsessed with her. Like he was. And who paid the price for that obsession? Me.
Mercy is kindness. Forbearance. Compassion.
He never showed me mercy.
And I will show her none.
18
LILA
