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He finger fucked me and he watched me the whole time, lust wild in his eyes, almost primal.

I was writhing underneath him, wanting to hide, but also wanting to scream from the pleasure he was giving me. It was all for me too. He wasn’t taking anything. He didn’t want me to touch him. He was seeing me, all of me. I was the most open to him, raw, vulnerable than I’d ever been as I was panting and almost naked with his fingers inside of me. Then I broke.

I reached for his wrist, holding it in a cement-like grip and tipped over the edge, my entire body shaking. I’d come so many times since starting to mess around with him and Cassian, but that was the most earth-shattering release I’d had. It tore through every part of my body, and afterward, Lee looked down at where his hand was still nestled between my legs, underneath his boxers and my underwear. He was so still as he asked quietly, “Can I kiss you down there?”

“What?” My chest was heaving and my brain was still scrambled.

“Can I?” He moved down my body, his hand at the side of his briefs and my underwear.

My eyes got big, but I nodded, altogether not sure what I was saying yes to.

He tugged down my clothes but left them around my knees. His fingers slipped out from me, and I moaned from the empty sensation now. It felt weird after having him in there. But he spread my legs for him, and moved in, his tongue grazing my pussy.

I reeled, my legs snapping closed on his head. I’d not been expecting to be that sensitive, but holy fucking shit, as his tongue lapped at my pussy, a gargle left me. I was soon writhing all over again. How—I didn’t—holy—what was he doing—ohmygodohmygod—a second release quickly tore through me and I was suffocating Lee. I had to be, but I couldn’t stop my legs from spasming around him all over again. In the midst of that, his tongue kept tasting me. Grazing. Caressing.

I was dying from how good this felt.

After I’d stopped shaking, and my legs relaxed, he lifted his head, a smug grin on his face. “Hottest fucking thing I’ve ever done.” He covered my body, his mouth covering mine for a good long kiss. It was more like a claiming at this point. He smoothed some of my hair back from my forehead, then lifted his face. His other hand cupped the side of my face. “Cassian’s going to be so pissed he missed that.”

I burst out laughing. He was so right.

15

After work, Cassian picked me up. My boss asked if I’d stay and do inventory, but Ethan was working too and he had a whole brain-melt when he saw Cassian was there to pick me up. Stuttering, he offered to do the inventory, saying he owed me. Cassian flashed him a grin and held up a fist. “Right on, bud. I’ll see you tomorrow in school.”

“Yeah!” Ethan yelled after us as we were leaving. “In school. Yeah. Bye. Bud.” The last word came out strangled right as the door was shutting behind us.

I glanced at Cassian, but it didn’t seem like he realized what he just did for Ethan.

Cassian, who was hella popular. Ethan, who was so not, who was probably convincing himself that he did a ‘solid’ for Cassian Ripp and he called him ‘Bud.’ Bud with a capital B, not with a lowercase b. That meant something. That was a name. Ethan was going to be full of questions for me tomorrow morning.

Lee had all his friends gone by the time we got to his house, and the rest of the night was nice. He had made pasta for us, so after eating, we curled up in the basement and watched a movie. There was a big debate over what movie and why we weren’t watching a hockey game, but it seemed there were only two hockey games on and the boys didn’t want to watch either. Minimal fighting, apparently. They watched a movie where there was lots of fighting instead.

There was some making out, but it was mostly cuddling. It was nice.

Cassian wanted to know all the details about what Lee and I had done so the making out happened after we shared said details. Then it was a repeat of the previous evening except earlier since we all had school the next morning.

Cassian left, after multiple multiple kisses.

I decided to stay the night considering after checking my phone, there were no calls or texts from my grandparents. The decision was made between all three of us that Lee would drive me to school in the morning. I knew that I would need to go to my grandparents’, at least to grab a change of clothes, but I had to admit that I wasn’t in any hurry. Lee offered to cover me. We washed my leggings and I was going to wear one of his hoodies to school the next day. I was good with that, looking forward to it even. And after school, I was going to walk to work. I could do that. It wasn’t that far and something I’d been doing for two months, even though both boys looked unconvinced. Cassian would pick me up, bring me back to Lee’s, and we would go from there.

Later, after I was curled in Lee’s bed, feeling warm and nice and snug, I wished I could sleep here every night. It wouldn’t last. I knew that. His parents would come back. Lee would get tired of me. He’d want his space back. Or at the very least, he’d figure out I was a moocher and wouldn’t want anything to do with me, but I wanted that day to come in a very long future from now. If ever.

Lee had fallen asleep beside me. His hand was splayed on my hip. I could hear his steady breathing.

The air shifted, heavier, and I looked up, getting my own feeling for when Noah was around by now.

He was sitting in the same chair in the same corner and he was watching Lee. His eyes were deep. Contemplative. For the first time since I’d seen him, the energy around him wasn’t as unhinged or angry. He almost seemed sad.

He remarked, quietly, “He lies to his friends.”

I sighed. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“He lies to himself too.”

I quieted.

“His parents have left him. The ‘retreat’ they’re gone on, they’re not coming back.”