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9
~Dealer~
“NO FUCKING WAY.”
It’s the fifth time he’s said that.
Over and over, and over some more.
I knew he weren’t gonna take my news well. I know him.
Given his history with his old man, I doubt he’s ever gonna be able to say it out loud, but it’s there either way. We both feel it. We got a tight father-son relationship these days. He don’t just see me as an asset. Hell, he don’t just see me as his wife’s father, or his daughter’s grandfather. It’s deeper.
And that means it hurts real deep too.
The idea of me disappearing ain’t comprehensible to him, ain’t something he even wants to begin to start wrapping his head around.
It’s too heavy. Emotional.
And when Ax feels any of that, he always reacts the same way.
With the flare of that volatile temper of his. Rage takes the wheel. Then it becomes his way or nothing. There ain’t no in between.
But try as he might, he can’t control everything.
This is one of them things.
“It’s gotta be, Ax.”
He steps back, shaking his head. “You already spent so many years off the grid, hiding out, because of the Mavs threat.”
“Better than being dead, ain’t it?”
“Is it?”
I ain’t going down that road. Not with him. Not with nobody. “Ax, let’s not, yeah?”
“Looks like you ain’t leaving me no other choice. You already made up your mind, but it’s the wrong decision. I got absolutely no doubt about that. So, I gotta stand here and make you hear it now, gotta make you change your mind on this, because if you don’t, you’re gonna lose everything, everything you’ve worked so hard to build since you came out of hiding a few years back.”
“This ain’t just about me, Ax.”
“It’s about all of us, Dealer! That’s what I’m trying to make you understand here. Jesus Christ! After all this time, after everything we’ve all been through together, why don’t you get it?”
“Get what?”
“You ain’t alone no more! What you do don’t just impact you, it impacts all of us! Rox, me, Ava, even the club!” He shifts his weight and scrubs his hand over his face, trying to reel in his temper. “I mean, fuck,” he mutters. “It took you a hell of a long time to rebuild your relationship with your daughter. You’ve gotten close to your granddaughter now too. You do this and that’s gonna go to shit. Can you really walk away from all of that? From them?”
He’s laying it on thick, going real hardcore.
And he’s succeeded. It’s gotten to me, all right. Because, at the end of the day, everything he’s said is right on. There’s a load of truth to it, so much so that it burns in a real painful way.
Butthere’s one truth that he ain’t willing to acknowledge.
And I gotta make it clear, gotta make him see it.
I step up to him and lay my hand on his shoulder, the contact making his gaze snap right to mine. “Ax, the reason I have to do this is because of how much I care about you all. You’re my family, and I protect family with everything I’ve got.”
He grasps my hand on his shoulder, telling me, “I hear that. You know I do, because I’m the exact same way. This strategy ain’t the right one, though, and it sure as hell ain’t the only one neither. We’ll figure out another way.”
