AllFreeNovel
Share Us
CHAPTER 31
Over the next couple weeks, it became routine to visit Stella in the astronomy tower at night. Without fail, Bennett would come, too. We continued to lay in silence, refusing to acknowledge the bond between us but still craving the connection of the other. I honestly didn’t know where Bennett and I stood, but what I did know was I was always looking forward to the almond cocoa that he brought me each night, and I enjoyed the silence of his company.
Miles continued to ignore me, and no matter how many times I knocked on his door, he wouldn’t open it. I finally went to class with Amica, and I was surprised the High Healer wasn’t mad at me for missing a couple weeks. She even said she missed me, which was something I never expected to hear come out of her mouth.
My appetite was less than non-existent, but when I did eat, I typically ate in my room to avoid the dining hall. I couldn’t face everyone without feeling immense guilt over abandoning them. Mendex would visit me in my room now. He would usually just sit on the edge of my bed and make sure I was okay, which was sweet of him, but I really didn’t need a checkup constantly.
The sadness still overwhelmed me, and every day I still didn’t want to get out of bed, but I remembered the promise I made to Ancilla, so I sucked it up and kept trying. Even if it took everything in me.
I said hello to Stella and the stars above as I walked into the circular tower. I fluffed out a black round blanket with a stitched design of the twelve constellations, placing it in the center of the room. I set the extra two blankets I brought with me on the side for me and Bennett to use, as it was getting colder in Veladis.
I lay down, covering my body with one of the wool blankets as I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze on my face and drinking in the serene silence. Fifteen minutes passed by and I opened my eyes, looking beside me to see that no one was there. Is Bennett still coming today? I couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment that rose in me at the absence of him. I knew I was supposed to hate him, and he’d wronged me in more ways than one, but I couldn’t help the way my soul begged to be intertwined with his.
I pulled the blanket over my head and sighed a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of being hidden from the world. Footsteps sounded behind me and my heart did a double take as I lifted the blanket off of my head. For the first time in a week, I turned around to meet Bennett’s gaze.
He stood awkwardly in the doorway, a steaming mug in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. He wore plaid pajama pants and a plain black cotton shirt, and I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from turning upwards.
He walked over to me, setting the mug in my hands instead of beside me on the floor as he had been doing. I soaked in the warmth of the glass on my fingers and sipped on the sweet almond cocoa. He moved to his side of the blanket, grabbing the extra one and throwing it over himself, and instead of laying down like usual, he sat down beside me, crossing his legs and staring at the piece of paper in his hands.
I sat and sipped my cocoa as I watched him read the note he brought.
“Hi, Bennett,” I said softly, but with confidence.
Those were the first words I’d spoken to him since the night on the lake.
“Hi, angel.” He looked up at me with hurt in his eyes that crushed my spirit and made me want to throw my arms around him. I didn’t, though, deciding it would be better to keep my distance.
What’s wrong? I asked through the connection. I liked speaking this way better with him for some reason. It felt private, more intimate, and, to be completely honest, it was just too damn cool not to.
He let out a sigh and ran his hand through his dark curls. A lot, Rhia, but I want to start fixing things.
My heart rate picked up. I was sure this was about to be the conversation we’d put off for so long, and I hoped Bennett couldn’t feel my pulse quicken through the connection.
Okay, I said apprehensively, tugging the blanket tighter around me, as if it could protect me from what he was about to say.
I have a lot to say, and I need to get it all off my chest. Will you listen?
I nodded in agreement.
All right, then. Here it goes. He looked down at the paper in his hands. I’m sorry.
The world could have burned down around me and I wouldn’t notice. I needed those two words more than I could admit, and him finally saying them pieced together a small part of my broken heart.
I’m so sorry, Rhia, and that will never be enough to make up for the pain I’ve put you through, but here is my vow to the stars that I will spend the rest of my days making up for it.
I began to open my mouth to protest, but he lifted a hand to stop the interruption as he continued on.
I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were kids, and how I treated you when I returned to Veladis. I’ve felt guilt and remorse every day since that night I attempted to use my shadows on you after Mom died. I was just a stupid, angry kid, but that’s no excuse for the fact that I could have killed you. I deserved to be sent away. I was a danger to you then, and it seems that I still am now.
He sighed as his grip on the paper tightened.
I need you to know that I never got any letter from you, Rhia. I swear I wasn’t ignoring you—I thought about you every day I was gone.
The reason I never got them is because I was never in Vicinus, I was in Vesper. There are many days I wished I could’ve come back to see you, but it would have made the situation even trickier with my uncle and father. My uncle thinks I’m a runaway, partying and sleeping at a different place each day, which is fine. It keeps his eyes off of me and Vesper.
He took a deep breath. When I came back to Veladis, the only thing I could think about was seeing you. However, as soon as I saw you, I was afraid I would hurt you again, so I pushed you away. I didn’t want you involved with my father’s mess. I didn’t need any more of the people I cared for to be hurt by him.
Then, I found out that you were my father’s assassin. I shouldn’t have been surprised, knowing you. You’re a badass and an amazing fighter. It makes sense that my father chose you, but it infuriated me that you couldn’t see past my father’s act.
