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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CARMELLA
“Cam, sweetie, you need to wake up.”
I feel someone shaking my shoulder as Bea’s voice becomes clearer.
“Hmm?”
“It’s late, Ilaria has set up the guest room for you and Andrea,” she whispers whilst stroking my hair from my forehead.
I glance at my watch and note its eleven at night.
“Andrea will need to feed soon. I’ll head up and get showered before he wakes.”
“Okay…” Bea looks down at a sleeping Sofia. “I’m here for you, Cam, please know that,” she chokes out.
“What am I even supposed to make of this, Bea? He’s got another child.” I lower my head and press the palms of my hands to my eyes.
“I don’t know what to say, Cam. It would break me if this was me. You have every right to be hurt.” She leans in and pulls me under her arm.
“What if… what if he wants to keep her as a mistress? They have a child together. I… I don’t think I could stay with him, Bea, not even for the public appearances.” I squeeze my eyes shut as I try my damnedest not to cry again. Just the thought of that scenario has me feeling nauseous.
“He won’t do that, Cam. Say what you will, he’s a stupid asshole to get you all into this position. But one thing I can say, he adores you. You don’t see the way he watches you. You laugh at how protective Leonardo is of me. He’s like that with you and Andrea, he loves you two,” she soothes.
“He doesn’t love me, Bea, he liked fucking me, and that was before I got fat with Andrea,” I huff.
“Shut up, Cam. You’ve already lost all your baby weight. Apart from your boobs, they’re now massive.” She tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach full gleam.
“Trust me, my body isn’t the same.” I shake my head.
It’s not, I have marks on my stomach from how big I got with Andrea. I also now have marks at the tops of my thighs that weren’t there before.
“I’ve also just had a baby, Cam. I’m well aware of the changes. I refuse to let you think you don’t mean the world to him,” she huffs.
“You saw how broken he was, Bea. And it wasn’t like he’d just found out. He’s known for six weeks.” Andrea stirs as my voice shifts slightly louder.
“Cam, the nutcase that abducted me, shot you, and tortured Nell has his child. There would be something very wrong with him if he wasn’t bothered.” She tilts her head. “No?”
I shake mine. “I know you’re right, but did you hear the longing in her voice?” I grit my teeth at the memory of her screams.
“I’ve been his captive, Cam. He knew if he touched me, it would not bring the sick bastard whatever it is he wanted from Leo. They knew me and Nell were highborn, but the threat was still there. How do you think he’s treating her? She’s a whore by trade, Cam.”
I know she’s right. Jade may have gotten herself into this, but who knows what he held against her. The baby, though, the baby is innocent.
I look down at my son as he starts to squirm. I wonder if the baby looks like him? Andrea is all Alessandro. His eyes were dark even when he was first born, and the chocolate curls are his too. The contrast between me and my son is vast, like night and day.
“I’m scared of what’s to come,” I whisper. “I want to hate him for putting us through this. But I also want to be strong and support him. How can I feel both?”
“You can’t help how you feel, sweetie. Get some sleep, and we’ll look at it with a clear head in the morning.” She leans in and kisses my temple.
* * *
ALESSANDRO
I slam my fist into my desk when I take a seat behind it, dragging my fingers through my hair. Damn, I wish I could make my pain last. I deserve that, deserve all the pain I get for the way I’ve hurt my girl.
Fuck!
