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CHAPTER 37
LILY
My eyes fluttered open as I snuggled into the comfortable warmth of my bed. So tired. My limbs and eyelids were leaden, heavy with drowsiness, like I hadn’t slept in ages. I yawned, inhaling Raiden.
Wait. Raiden? Flicking my eyes open with a painful sting, I took in the room, squinting at the unwelcome brightness. Everything smelled of him. He was on me, around me and yet, he wasn’t there, the space beside me cold and empty. I shot up, anxiety gnawing at my gut. Had I lost time again? Black bedding with beautiful white and silver motives had been draped over me, the soft fabric smelling like him.
Heart racing, my eyes quickly travelled across the room. He wasn’t there either. Dark wooden furnishings decorated the interior and a plush white carpet covered the floor. Different items were scattered around the bedside table and on a large bookshelf close by; books, picture frames, sunglasses, and a gas mask.
Raiden’s room. I frowned, rubbing my temples. Remember, remember. How did I get here? I closed my eyes, clamping them shut until they hurt. My wolf. A woman, Raiden’s chosen Luna. Bile formed in the back of my throat. Flowers, so many, white and glowing. I focused on the memory of them, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth like the doctor had shown me. Calm. Calm. Breathe. I trembled, my fingertips growing colder.
The last I remember, I was in my wolf form. How had I gotten from there to here and changed forms without noticing? Pulling my legs up to my chest, I rubbed harder along my temples. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Breathe.
I breathed again; long, shaky breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I’m me. I’m safe. Ray found me. He’d never hurt me. He chose a new Luna. I shook my head, Ray will never hurt me.
The door burst open, “yo, man, mind if I grab the extra controller?” A young man, probably a teen, said. He walked in like he owned the place and had a phone in his hand, his eyes glued to the tiny screen as his thumbs flew over the buttons. When no one answered, he looked up, finally noticing me.
I wasn’t sure who got the biggest fright, me or him, but he stopped dead in his tracks, and stared at me with wide eyes. Snapping out of my state of shock, I yanked the bedding up, covering as much of me as I possibly could.
“Shit,” he blurted out, spinning around, and slapping his hands over his eyes. “I am so sorry,” he yelled from behind his hands, still looking the other way. “So, so, sorry. Shit,” he cursed again, “Raiden is going to fucking kill me. Please, please don’t tell him.”
“Stop cursing,” I found myself saying. “Who are you? And what are you doing here?”
He pointed with a long outstretched arm and index finger to a television set in the corner of the room. Before it was a small table with some sort of plastic box and a bunch of cables running in and out of it.
“The TV-game controller,” he said, “we’re short one.”
“Don’t you ever knock?”
He took a moment before responding quietly. “No.”
I heard him mumbling some more while I double-checked the covers, making sure everything was in fact hidden. My cheeks burned, but at least I’d side-stepped the panic attack I was about to have before he entered.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, Raiden stepped in through the door that had been left open, holding a tray in his hands. For a moment, he stared at me with an unreadable expression, his eyes travelled over my face, over my arms as I clutched the bedding to my chest.
“What-?” he began saying, but stiffened as he noticed the young man standing off to his left. I wasn’t sure whether either of them were breathing. The boy’s hands were still covering his face, but his muscles had gone rigid and his skin a shade paler.
“I’m so sorry, Alpha, I didn’t mean to-it was an accident,” he began sputtering, stringing too many words into a too long sentence. “You’ve never had a girl anywhere near your room and-I mean-in all the years, how could I have known -?”
“Get out!” Raiden’s voice boomed, his eyes wild. An angry vein had popped out of his neck, pulsing with fury as he clutched the tray so tightly, his knuckles were turning white.
Without another word, the young man scrambled out. Even as I heard his footsteps disappear down the hall, Raiden stood motionless, clenching his jaw and staring at the tray. When he finally turned to face me, his wolf’s golden orbs had replaced his usual greys. He was struggling to reel him back in. Alpha males were known to be very possessive when it came to their mates. I guess whether he wanted me or not, I was still his fated mate.
Sitting as quietly as possible, I clutched the covers tighter and tried to calm my racing heart, levelling my breathing. I’d never seen Ray in a fit of rage before. I didn’t know what to expect, or how he would react. I didn’t know his wolf either, so the safest option was trying to draw as little attention as possible until he calmed down.
When Ray's breathing finally slowed enough for him to regain control, he turned, shutting the door behind him.
“I'm sorry about that,” he grumbled, walking over to the nightstand and setting down the tray. “Tom should be more careful in future.”
I studied him. The way he moved, the way his brows creased as he spoke. It was difficult to think I might very soon lose him. Or learn that I never really had him to begin with.
“Can I make it up to you?” he asked, vaguely gesturing to the food. “It’s probably cold now, but-” he scratched the back of his neck.
“I don’t mind.”
I’d say anything if it meant spending another moment in his company. It was funny. He was the one person I was enraged with and yet, I couldn’t stay away from him. Didn’t want to.
Raiden looked at me then, his eyes back to their stormy grey, lips tight and brows still creased. I wondered what he was thinking, what he wanted to say but didn’t.
