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TWENTY-SEVEN
HADLEY
“Are you going to be my new mommy?” This is the question I’ve been dreading. Piper is cute as she sits next to me, happily munching on a deconstructed s’more I made for her. She told me she wanted the chocolate and the marshmallows on the side, and I obliged.
“No, I’m not,” I say.
“Why not? Don’t you love me?”
“Of course I do,” I tell her, running a hand over her unruly hair.
“And do you love my daddy?”
Nothing like being put on the spot by a four-year-old.“Yes, I do,” I tell her honestly because if you can’t be honest with a kid, who can you be honest with?
“That makes you my new mommy!”
I laugh at her sweet innocence. “It doesn’t really work like that. You already have a mommy.”
“I know, but she’s not here so it’s okay if you’re my mommy too.” It makes me sad knowing how much Piper misses her mother.
“Well, I don’t want to replace her,” I say, wrapping one of the little girl’s curls around my finger. “I don’t have to be your mommy to love you.”
She seems satisfied with my answer and luckily, I don’t have to spend any more time answering her awkward questions because Theo and Colton return. I hope it’s a good sign Theo’s arm is around Colton’s shoulders because I don’t want our relationship to be the source of tension between Theo and his children.
“Everything okay,” I ask, looking up at them both.
“Colton,” Piper hops out of her seat and runs toward him. “Guess what? Hadley isn’t going to be our new mommy, but she says she loves you and me and Daddy.”
If I could bury myself in the sand, I would, but unless a giant sinkhole opens and swallows me, I have to stay and face this uncomfortable situation.
“I’m sorry, Colton,” I tell him, “if what you saw was weird or made you angry. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he mumbles, plopping down in one of the camp chairs we brought.
I glance up at Theo for guidance, but his expression is as passive as Colton’s. They might not have argued, but he’s clearly not happy with their discussion. When he comes to sit in the chair beside mine, I tell him we should call it a night.
“No,” he insists. “This is our first bonfire of the summer, and I don’t want to leave.”
I place my hand over his and lean toward him. “Please? Colton isn’t happy, and maybe what he needs right now is space. He doesn’t need to see us all loved up on each other.”
“Fine,” he concedes.
After packing up our things and dousing the fire with a bucket of seawater, we walk back to the house. It doesn’t feel far when it’s me and the kids getting ready for an afternoon of swimming, but since everyone except Piper is in a foul mood, the walk back feels like miles.
Colton bolts up the steps to his bedroom the minute we return home and Piper proclaims to be “positively exhausted” and asks me to help her get ready for bed. I hesitate, glancing back at Theo, who’s in the kitchen putting away the marshmallows and graham crackers. He moves methodically from one task to the next, returning items back where they belong. His mouth is turned down and not once has he looked toward me.
I follow Piper upstairs and into her bedroom, pulling out a pair of pajamas from her dresser. I supervise as she brushes her teeth, reminding her to get the back teeth. After, she changes and hops into her bed which is loaded with stuffed animals. She reaches up her little arms, opening and closing her fists, and wiggling her fingers until I lean down for a hug.
She squeezes my neck tight and whispers, “I’m glad you love my daddy. He’s been sad, and now that you’re here, he’s not.”
I don’t have a response other than to kiss her cheek and tell her good night. As I step into the hall and close her door, I notice Theo waiting for me at the top of the steps, a stern look on his face. He steps up and stalks his way toward me, snagging my hand as he passes, dragging me into the master bedroom.
“I thought this is what you wanted,” I say once the door is closed. “Why do you look so angry?”
With his hands on his hips, he paces the floor in front of me. “I’m angry with myself for underestimating my kids.”
“What do you mean?”
