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“Oh my God. Stop.” Her head cocks to the side and she looks at me. “Wait, anything I want?” Lena makes a face and shakes her head as if to clear it. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”
I want to play, to tease out the banter that comes so naturally between us. Except I’m supposed to be giving her space.
Fuck. What am I doing? I rub at the bruise on my jaw to remind myself of the shouting match I had with her brother a few days ago.
Lena sighs and looks up at me. Her violet eyes are shuttered, not giving me any clue of what she’s thinking. She’s good at that. Closing up shop and shutting everyone out. It only makes me want to dig deeper. To find a hole and poke my finger in it until I make a bigger gap to sneak through. That’s why we’re so good together. She tries to hide and I won’t let her.
Thoughts like that are why I’m in so much trouble.
“What do you want, Archer?” As good as she is at keeping all her emotions in check, I can still sense the sadness in her. It’s shrouding her shoulders like a weighted cloak. I almost say something flippant and joke with her about the crick in my neck from sleeping in Ezra’s chair, but I can’t do that with her. Not right now.
“I want to make sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”
I do, though. I always have. She worries about me, too. Even when she’s avoiding me.
“Thanks for sending that information on the shadow magic.” I lean down so I can speak quietly, without nosy people listening in.
Just like that, her barriers are back up and she’s reinforcing those damn walls. Shit, how was that the wrong thing to say?
“I thought you should know. We can’t protect ourselves if we don’t even know what we’re capable of.”
The barista slides our orders over the counter. Lena moves like a damn ninja, grabbing hers before I get the chance to hand it to her. She takes a step back, conflict written all over her face. For a second, I think she’s going to say something about us, but all she says is, “Thanks for the coffee.”
I pick up my cup and follow behind her. I don’t call for her, knowing I should just let her go, but I can’t let her walk alone. I shadow her as she walks to the library, keeping myself far enough back that I don’t crowd her. The rigid set of her shoulders tells me she knows I’m there, but she doesn’t turn around to yell at me. I wait until she’s up the hill and inside the library before I turn around and walk away. Hating how much it feels like I’m doing the wrong damn thing.
