AllFreeNovel
Share Us
KACI
I paced the floor, phone in hand. It had been two weeks since I saw Luke. Two weeks. I didn’t have the courage to go back to the bar. And I couldn’t seem to text him. I couldn’t re-follow him on anything or re-add him. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t ready. Seeing him was too much. So many emotions raged inside me. I didn’t know what to do. How to fix it.
He was clearly in shock seeing me. I felt pulled towards him although he was stand-offish. But was he? Or was that just me thinking that. Of course Gracey was away at some conference for work so I couldn’t rely on her to help me for shit.
I had already nervous cleaned the whole house today. I didn’t have any dirty clothes expect what I was wearing. And I had worked out. Now I had no fucking idea what to do. How to occupy my time without stalking Luke? The only thing I could do was stare at my phone.
By this point I had already typed out 100 different messages but deleted all of them. He wasn’t ready to be us again. Hell I didn’t even know if I was ready for it again but I knew I wanted him. I needed him in my life. And if he wanted to be just friends or even wanted nothing to do with me than that was fine. I could love him from afar. Of course it would kill me and I wouldn’t go down without a fight but he deserved that much. He deserved someone better than me. Someone who wouldn’t leave him like I did. I just hope he hadn’t figured it out yet.
Finally, I plopped down on the couch and scrolled through Netflix. I needed to watch a sappy love story movie that would make me cry. I know, pathetic. Somehow, someway it would make me feel better about my life. Or possibly make it worse. I settled for one I knew would cue the tears, Armageddon.
Sitting crossed legged in a puddle of tears I watched as they finally got back from space and she ran to him, jumping in his arms. That’s all I wanted to do to Luke, is run and jump in his arms. His hand would smooth down my back as he spun me around. God I missed him.
Getting up I was sick of feeling sorry for myself. I splashed my face with cold water and threw my hair up in a messy bun.
Checking my pantry and fridge I made a list of things I needed from the grocery store. It was time to go somewhere other than the bar. I highly doubted I would see Luke considering it was late afternoon and he would most likely still be working.
Heading to the store I took in the small town. The school parking lot was full of cars still, boys out on the football field. I could see dad out there in his ball cap yelling about something. To think Luke used to be out there while I was in the gym playing volleyball. Seems like another lifetime ago.
Rounding the corner, I pulled into the grocery store. I recognized a few vehicles. None that I wanted to. Taking a deep breath, I got out of the car and headed inside. The cashier smiled as I walked in saying, hello. I grabbed a cart and started walking down the familiar isles. As I headed to the next my cart bumped into another.
“I’m sorry. Excuse me.” I looked up and my heart dropped. Luke’s mom and sister stood right in front of me.
“Kaci? How are you?” Amy moved to hug me.
“I’m okay. How are things at the farm?” I looked between her and Lilly.
“Oh they’re good, good.” She stepped back. “So I hear you bought a house?”
Luke’s mom was always so nice. It almost made me want to cry, again. “Yeah I did.”
“That’s great sweetie! I’m happy for you.” She hugged me again. “Are you happy?”
Blinking away the tears I forced a smile. “Working on it.”
“Luke will come around you just have to give him time. You know he’s a bull, he buck’s back.”
“Yeah.” My voice was small.
“Well we will let you get back to your shopping. And honey don’t be a stranger. We miss you.”
“Thanks Momma A. I miss you guys too.” Stepping to the side I moved in to hug Lilly. We had always been close since Luke and I started dating.
“My brother’s just a dick.” She whispered in my ear.
“Not to me.” I smiled winking at her. Pulling my cart, I waved and headed to the next isle. “See ya!”
I thought about what Luke’s mom said.
You know he’s a bull, he buck’s back.
And what Drake had told me.
Don’t give up on him when he tries to push you away.
I needed to talk to him again. Or at least try. You know, quit being a chicken shit and text him. But what was I supposed to say? Hi Luke it’s Kaci the one who fucked everything up, anyways, what’s up? No.
I headed home and put all the groceries away. After I cooked dinner, watched another movie, and took a very long bath I decided it was time. He should be out of the combine by now. I could text him and go to sleep. That way I wouldn’t stare at my phone waiting a reply.
Pulling back the covers I got into bed. My finger hovered over his name before I typed out a message. This one would not be deleted like all the others.
Hope you had a good day. Goodnight Luke
Sending it I rolled over and willed myself to sleep.
I woke up to banging. More banging. Once realization of the sound hit me I panicked. I reached for the baseball bat I kept under my bed and peeked out the window. Luke’s truck was under the yard light. That still didn’t slow my beating heart. I didn’t bother with putting pants on I just headed for the door.
