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As she sat on the couch with her old beat-up laptop, she wondered if maybe her discomfort as the role of provider was the reason she kept losing out on the manager positions. She knew she was still young, but losing three possible jobs in two years was hard for her to swallow.
She posted a resume on several job sites and directly applied for a few other positions before closing it down. It didn’t surprise her to find Harper curled up next to her with her e-reader. It was one of the first purchases Laura had made when she got a job. Harper used it to borrow books from the library, which made Laura happy.
Harper enjoyed reading more than anything, but she’d gotten so few opportunities over the years to read what she wanted that she now consumed books like air.
Without thinking, Laura reached out to squeeze her shoulder. Harper must have been engrossed in her book, because she cringed and tried to jump away. Laura jerked her hand back.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”
“It’s fine. I just need to get over it.”
“Harper, you know that’s not true.”
Harper sniffled, and Laura’s heart broke a little. She and Harper both shared trauma from their childhood, but on opposite ends of the spectrum. Laura craved a soft touch more than anything, having grown up without it. Harper flinched away from it since her early years had contained too much of it.
They were an odd pair. The only thing they had in common was growing up together on the huge church compound with no exposure to the outside world. After that, they’d had completely different paths within their group.
“Did you find places to apply?”
“Two ranches in Texas, and one in Wyoming.”
Harper scrunched her nose. “All in the middle of nowhere, probably.”
Laura couldn’t help her answering grin. “Most ranches are.”
With a sigh, Harper leaned over and snuggled into Laura’s side. “I know. I just miss the city.”
For four years after leaving the church compound with five hundred dollars each, they’d lived in tiny hovel apartments just scraping by. It was part of the disincentive to leave the church fold, but neither Laura nor Harper had wanted the life the Church of Divine Light had set out for them. They’d left without a backward glance as soon as they had the opportunity. Laura could still feel the stares of her mother and oldest brother as she turned her back on them. Now, she just shrugged it off.
“You don’t have to come with me. We can split what’s in the bank and you can—”
“And do what?” Harper snapped. “I have no skill. Hell, I don’t even have a high school diploma.”
Laura just waited. If Harper was swearing, she just needed to get it out.
“I’m not like you, Laura. I’m not smart and I have no idea what I could possibly do for a living. All I know how to do is take care of babies and… and…” She collapsed, all the fight gone out of her.
“Can I hug you?”
Laura had learned to ask first when Harper was in this kind of mood. Harper nodded, her face painted with misery as she curled into Laura and let her hold her.
Six years ago, she could never have done this. Harper’s trauma was so much different than her own that most days she could barely stand to be touched.
“I promise, the next place we go, I’ll stay on for at least a year no matter what, so you can get your GED. With that, you could get a job at a daycare.”
Harper squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. “No one would ever hiremeto watch over children.”
“Nothing from your former life has to go on a resume. If you can’t work in a daycare right away, we’ll find a way for you to get a job at a restaurant again or something just for experience.”
“How? Our car barely runs anymore. There’s no way I could use it every day to drive somewhere.”
She wasn’t wrong about that. “I’ll figure it out,” Laura insisted.
Harper deflated. “I’m sorry, Laura. I know you’re trying. Some days are just hard.”
Laura wanted to squeeze her harder and reassure her, but with Harper, that was the wrong way to go. If they had more money and better transportation, she would have insisted Harper get therapy to help her deal with all she’d been through. That just wasn’t in the cards yet.
They sat there huddled together for a long time before Harper spoke and Laura pretended to ignore her red-rimmed eyes and rough voice. “Just put in your notice tomorrow. Better not to be fired.”
