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Chapter Twenty-Four
Declan
“You keep tryingto rip my heart out and stamp on it. I don’t want them to see us. That’s what you said like I was a dirty secret to be ashamed of. I don’t deserve to just be another notch on your bedpost, Declan Walsh. I don’t deserve that.”
Declan had spent the last few days trying to call Andi but her phone said it was switched off so he alternated between getting blind ass drunk and leaving her voicenotes. He couldn’t get the look on Andi’s face out of his mind and he knew he was hurting her.
Rhys had told him as much the moment Andi left the studio, his best friend almost decking him again but Jameson had stepped in to stop Rhys from unleashing his wrath on Declan.
“Just let her go, Deco. Let my sister find someone who doesn’t make her think she is unworthy of being loved. You reel her in only to push her away and I can’t watch her destroy herself for you. I’ll walk away from the band unless you stop.”
There had been raised voices then, with everyone screaming at one another until Declan had picked up a guitar and unleashed his anger on the goddamn piano, battering it full-on rockstar style until the wood splintered on both instruments, shards digging into his skin.
That had been a week ago and today was the first day that the band would all be together in the same room. Declan wasn’t sure if Rhys would turn up or not, even though Jamie had called him yesterday and told him that Rhys was willing to come if the subject of Andi was off the table.
But Andi was never off the table for him. The kiss played over and over in his mind, it kept him awake and made his body harden. He wanted to seek out Andi and explain that he hadn’t meant that he didn’t want the band to see them together, he had just wanted to protect her from the guys seeing them fucking on the piano.
He would sing it from the rooftops if she wanted him to prove that he would be fucking proud to have her by his side, as his equal, day after day, night after night. He would do anything to prove to Andi that he didn’t mean to hurt her, he just tended to act the fool whenever she was around.
Declan understood why Andi had reacted the way she had and to be fair, his words sounded wrong, especially when he had already hurt her in other ways that would lead her to think the worst of him. Even replaying the words blurted out in a haze of desire and daftness made him shudder.
Trudging down the stairs, Declan ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way into the studio. He heard Rhys’s laughter and a feminine chuckle that didn’t belong to Luna or Andi. Pushing open the door, Declan frowned when he saw Rhys lounging on one of the chairs, a red-haired woman perched on the arm, her sultry gaze all over Rhys as he grinned at her.
Jameson lifted his head when Declan thundered in, Luna stopped tapping on her drum kit and they all waited to see what Declan did next. He must have looked a state, his hair and beard disheveled and Declan considered he might reek a bit as he hadn’t been very hygienic over the last week. Or perhaps it was the bottle of whiskey that dangled from his fingers that gave them cause for concern.
Declan roamed his eyes over the redhead and scowled. Her skirt was so short that Declan no doubt knew that she was flashing Rhys her knickers and her boots were laced up to her knees. She wore a barely-there blouse in the same red as her lipstick.
The woman rose when she noticed Declan come in, glancing down at his bare feet before she flashed him a seductive smile, held out her hand, and said in a British accent. “Nicolette Todd. Rebel PR sent me to go over the details for the collaboration with Oli.”
Declan and Oliver Scott had been in contact a few times over the last couple weeks and Declan had asked Oli to drop some vocals on a song and Oli was stoked to do it. Declan thought Andi would be the one to come with the contract but here was this woman standing in his studio who didn’t care about music and would sure as shit drop her knickers for any of the band if it thought it would get her some notoriety.
“Where’s Andi?” His words came out sounding slurred and that made Jameson get to his feet, standing behind the woman and shaking his head at Declan, who promptly ignored him.
Nicolette smiled and waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “Oh, don’t worry. Andi sent me to deal with the band and she may have me handle all things Heartache Melody from now on.”
That ignited the anger inside Declan’s chest and he snarled. “Where the fuck is Andi?”
The woman took a step back and looked at Rhys or Jameson to help her as she said softly. “Andi wasn’t feeling well so she asked me to come. But she has been asked by Joshua James to go with him to America while he shoots a new TV series. She could be gone for over a year so she wanted to see if I would get on with you guys over Shane before she decided who to delegate to.”
A year, an entire year before Andi would step foot in Ireland again. Andi was running away from him all over again and he wasn’t going to have it. He just wasn’t.
Lifting the bottle, Declan took a large slug, the burning like a comfort in the state he was in. “You tell Andi that the deal is over if she doesn’t show up. The band works with her and no one else. So, no more recording singles for an album that won’t ever come out if she keeps running from me. I’m done. I’m fucking done. There is no point to this if she’s not here. The music doesn’t feel the same. I’m done.”
To punctuate his point, Declan flung the half-empty bottle at the nearest wall, letting it crash and shatter, the liquid pouring down the wall as Nicolette let loose a shriek, gathered up her stuff, and rushed for the door.
When she was gone, Jameson came forward. “Dec, mate. Come on...this isn’t you.”
Rhys was still lounging on the chair, but his eyes were firmly fixed on Declan. There was a flash of something dark in Rhys’s eyes before he shoved off the chair and came at Declan, shoving a finger into his chest but Declan barely felt it, he barely felt anything at all.
“You’re a selfish prick, Declan. Andi has made her decision and you need to let her go. Let her go and be happy and find someone who will love her.”
Declan grabbed Rhys by the collar of his leather jacket. “I fucking love her.”
Rhys barked out a laugh, rolling her eyes. “Do you? Then you have a funny way of showing it. If you care about her like you say you do, let my sister go. You don’t deserve her.”
Declan pushed Rhys away with a snarl so he wouldn’t give in to the urge to strangle him. He looked around at the faces of his bandmates, his friends, and couldn’t stand the pity in their eyes.
“Get out the lot of you. Leave me the fuck alone.”
Rhys snorted, heading for the door before he turned and smirked. “You lecture me on public image but here you are, willing to throw away the band’s chances of making it because of your wounded pride. I’m glad she overheard you telling me that you weren’t interested. Stop playing the fucking victim and sort your shit out. Just leave my sister alone.”
Declan lunged for Rhys, and felt Jameson drag him back before Rhys disappeared from view, Luna following out after Rhys with a sadness that echoed his own. Jameson let him go and faced him. “Rhys is right, Dec. You gotta sort yourself out. You might be the singer but you aren’t the whole band. You can’t rip away our dreams because you bruised your heart. Don’t do this to us.”
Staring after Jameson long after he left, Declan didn’t know what to do to make right all the wrongs in his life. He continued to fuck up with Andi anytime he opened his mouth to speak but, music and lyrics never failed him. He could prove to everyone that Andi needed to be with him and he needed her more than anything else in his life.
So he grabbed a pen and a pad, sat down right there on the floor, and poured his heart out into a song, written just for Andi, and hours maybe days later when he finished, he picked up the phone and called Jameson.
“Jay, get the band together mate. I need your help.”
