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Without another word, he leaves the room, with his chuckle echoing down the hall. I lift my arm, smelling my pit. The hint of my deodorant wafts into my nose.
Fucking asshole was messing with me. I don’t smell like shit.
I better go tell my girl that I’m her ride for the day. I sure as hell know this won’t go well. It will be a fight, but her yelling at me is better than her ignoring me.
Marnix looks like he’s going to have a coronary when we pull into the parking lot of Star of India. The air in the car is thick with tension, whether it’s sexual or anger, I can’t tell, but it’s stuffy as hell in here. We fought for almost an hour before I gave in and let him take me.Just like old times.I came downstairs to find his brooding face waiting to take me to work instead of Viper like Rush had told me.
I love the restaurant. It is my happy place. The last person I want there is Marnix if he’s going to be an asshole today. Well, maybe not the last person—that place is reserved for Zayan. Marnix wouldn’t back down, though. He refused to let anyone except him take me, even though he knew I’d be safe with Viper. I think that’s just his control freak shining through.
As much as I’d rather not be around him, especially after the last few times we’ve been alone together, I allowed it because I need to work. I need Star of India more than it needs me. We didn’t talk much on the ride here besides a few off-handed comments, which were followed up with smart-ass comments. We definitely avoided talking about both of us getting emotional in the middle of the night and leaving our hearts on the floor to bleed out together. He’s aware I need time and space. He’s trying to respect that as best as he can even though his jaw tics aggressively and he’s anything but fine.
Coming here might be a bad idea. I’m well aware of that, especially since we have no idea where Zayan is. I overheard Rush and Marnix talking the other day, saying he wasn’t found at the house where he kept me. I’m not even sure how they figured out where that was considering I ran as far as I could away from that hellhole and can’t recall a thing about the area I was in.
The thing about Zayan is that he’s a planner. He had no problem being in hiding for seven years as he waited to come out again and attack. So wherever he is right now, I can guarantee he’s not just sitting around twiddling his thumbs, and he certainly hasn’t forgotten about me.
The thought of seeing him again makes my skin crawl. Knowing that he could be watching, waiting, and plotting vengeance. The next time I see him will be the last time. I’ll watch the life drain from his eyes.
The guys tiptoe around the house, whispering about their search for Zayan, trying to keep it away from me. They want to protect me, but I hear their whispers. I watch their body language and eye contact. I’m not oblivious.
Truth is…they can try all they want, but they won’t get anywhere near him. I’m the one he wants. The only way to draw a predator from the shadows is by dangling the prey. Unfortunately, in this situation, I’m the prey. Once I leave and get on my feet, I’ll draw him out. I’ll end this nightmare once and for all.
A small touch to my arm jolts me from my thoughts, making me tense. Marnix quickly pulls his hand back as if the contact burned him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you like that when you weren’t expecting it.” The remorse in his voice puts another crack in my already fragile heart.
I reach over, grabbing his hand and threading my fingers through his. “I was zoned out, so I wasn’t expecting it. I’m still a bit jumpy sometimes.” He squeezes my hand back almost painfully, like he thinks I’m going to disappear if he lets go.
“I’m nervous about going in there,” Marnix admits, almost throwing me off-balance. “I promised you I’d be open and honest with you from now on with my emotions, and I’m telling you I don’t want us to go in there. We shouldn’t go in there.” Damn. I wasn’t expecting him to take my request for him to stop hiding so seriously. He really is showing all of his emotions. His anger earlier with me wanting Viper to take me instead and now his nervousness to go into the restaurant. He’s trying to show me how serious he is about this. Something I can appreciate.
“I can’t stay away forever. I can’t be locked away in hiding for the rest of my life.” I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get out of the house or see other people. I understand the threats and am still not back to the old me yet, but part of my growth and healing is finding myself again.
“I don’t want to lock you away. I just want you to be safe. He knows you. He knows how much you love this place. He’s aware you won’t be able to stay away. You’re a sitting duck here if he shows up,” he pleads with me. I realize that he’s afraid of what could happen again, but I’m more prepared this time. I can’t forget the threat is out there, and I’ve prepared myself for it. Progress isn’t going to happen for me by being at home. I have to face my fears. Even if I’m terrified of what could happen, I still have to push myself to be uncomfortable in order to get better.
“Marnix…I understand where you’re coming from, but if I continue to hide, I won’t be able to move forward with my life and find my way back to myself. He ruined me once, and I came back stronger than ever. I won’t let that piece of shit take anything else from me.” I squeeze his hand, and he nods at what I’m saying. His shoulders relax slightly at my words, making a small smile grace my lips. It’s hard for him to give up control or not be the one making the decisions, but he’s learning that I will keep pushing him even when we’re on rocky ground.
“If anything—and I meananything—happens in there, we’ll leave immediately, Tara.” Well, maybe he’s not ready to give upallcontrol, but I’ll take it for now. I don’t have the energy to fight with him right now. I used it all to argue with him before we left the house.
“Okay.” I give him a soft smile before releasing his hand to get out of the vehicle. I take in a deep breath, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants as Marnix rounds his car to stand by my side. We walk silently toward the door; each step is met with eagerness and trepidation. I miss this place with my entire heart, but it’s also been tainted with Zayan’s presence.
I reach for the door, pulling it open quickly. My heart skips a beat when I’m instantly hit with the aroma of spices and cooking food. The red and gold decor puts me at ease and I can’t help but grin. This is my home. This is my everything. The slight sense of longing in my chest fades away each second I’m here.
“Tara! Where have you been?” Rachel bounds toward me, pulling me in for a suffocating hug. Thankfully most of my wounds have healed, otherwise she’d be hurting me. My ribs still ache, but that’s not going away any time soon. Thankfully the injuries I still do have on my face, I could cover with makeup.
“Umm, just been enjoying my time with my new man.” I point over my shoulder to Marnix, who stands behind me. “He’s been keeping me busy.” I try to act as normal as possible even though my fingers are twitching, my body has a slight shake to it, and I don’t feel like my usual confident self.Maybe I’m really not ready to come back yet.
“Oh yes, I remember this one.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Marnix, and a stabbing pain in my chest overcomes me the longer she runs her eyes up his body. I didn’t expect to feel jealous, but the way she’s looking at him has me wanting to claim him in front of everyone so they know he’s still mine, even if we are on rocky ground. I cough to get her attention again. “I can understand why you’ve been busy.”
My chest begins to hurt for a different reason. What she’s saying is what should’ve been happening this entire time. Instead, it’s been the exact opposite—a complete nightmare rather than utter bliss. Marnix and I were so close to having that happiness. We were so close to moving forward with our relationship that it would’ve been full of love and excitement. All of that seems like a fairytale at this point. In reality, we’re ten steps back from what we could’ve been. That’s what hurts the most, knowing how easy it was to break us apart.
“Well, I’m back now and ready to get to work,” I say awkwardly. No one knew I was coming in. They’ve already been open for a bit, so some tables are full. Rachel nods her head as I go toward the back office with Marnix following behind me.
“You okay?” Marnix asks calmly behind me as I step inside my office.
“Yeah, I just didn’t realize how emotional it would be being back here.” I roll my shoulders, trying to relieve the tension building up. This place is my heart, it’s my entire livelihood. I didn’t think it would be this overwhelming to be back here seeing the vintage decor, the smiling patrons, and the best staff in all of Craibridge. It feels incredible and terrifying all at the same time.
“I’ll be here the entire time, just sitting in a booth if you need anything.” I turn around to look at him. His face is soft and understanding. I’m not used to seeing anything other than him being an asshole, but I appreciate him seeing how this is affecting me without being a dick about it. I nod my head at him and move toward the door. As I pass, he grabs my hand, stopping me to look up at him.Why does he have to be so fucking handsome that it jolts me every time I stare at him?He doesn’t say anything, just squeezes my hand and gives me a smile before letting go and following me back out to the dining room.
I get straight to work, diving right into bussing tables. Some of the regulars are here but also many new faces. We get a steady rush that allows me to get lost in work. As the hours go by, I start to feel normal again. It’s just like old times, even though I’m still on edge that Zayan could walk in that door at any moment.
As I lean across a table to wipe it down, I feel an unsettling presence behind me. I stand straight up, making eye contact with Marnix, who looks like he’s going to flip the table in front of him. I slowly turn around, easing for a moment before arms wrap around me to pull me in for a hug. My body stiffens at the unwanted contact, but at least it’s not fucking Zayan like I thought.
