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“I’ll take it. I’ll take anything I can get.” He takes a drink, leaning against the counter, leveling his stare with mine. “I love hearing that nickname again, peasant.”
I narrow my eyes on him. I hadn’t even realized I’d used the old nickname until he pointed it out. A buzz of energy flutters around us, igniting my body to his presence. It’s a feeling I can’t allow myself to give in to when it comes to him. I ignore where that conversation is likely to lead and turn to leave. “Well, have fun with whatever it is you’re doing. I’m gonna go for a swim,” I say like it isn’t apparent with my skimpy bikini. Surprisingly, Marnix hasn’t snuck a peek and checked me out, even though he’s had many chances. He’s trying to be respectful, even though it’s hard for him not to look.
“Wait,” Marnix grunts, gripping my bicep lightly.
“What?” I glare at his palm wrapped around my arm. Noticing the discomfort, he lets me go even though I nearly whimper from the loss of his touch.
“I think it might be best for me to stay in the guest house for a while since Reilly’s been staying here. Maybe give you three the space you need without me being in the way.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I want to say something, but I don’t know what. My mouth opens and closes like a fish as I try to get the words out. Defeated, he drops his grip and is halfway upstairs when I finally get them out.
“You don’t have to stay in the guest house. This is your house, you know.”
“I’m not sure I can see you every day without being able to be with you.” He looks broken and I get where he’s coming from. I’ve been icing him out and waving my relationship with Cohutta and Rush around in front of him.
“I don’t want you to go,” I say quietly, barely more than a whisper.
He comes back down the stairs, standing directly in front of me. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything or that you have to force yourself to be okay with me. We had an agreement for a year, and I won’t go back on that. After that, you’re free to do whatever you want.” He gives me a sad smile, meaning everything he’s saying. He’d give up his happiness to allow me protection, safety, and a place to live just to make sure I was okay. He plants a soft kiss on my forehead before stepping back to go up the stairs again. Before he can leave, I grab onto his wrist to stop him.
“Wait. I’ve been thinking about some things.” I’m panting, trying to figure out what I truly want to say to him. “I can’t freeze you out forever, and that’s not what I want. If I want you to have the chance to fix us, then I have to give that to you. I understand that. I’m willing to try, if you’re willing to let me have the control to take it at my pace. I’m tired of pretending to hate you, Marnix. It’s fucking exhausting. I miss you more than I should admit, and I need you just as much. I miss us.”
Marnix slowly nods, seeming to accept what I’m saying. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to hear those words for what feels like forever. Whatever you need, Tara, it’s yours. Forever.” He plants a soft, loving kiss on my lips then turns to give me the space he can see I need.
Till death do us part.
I never in a million years thought I’d have real feelings for the man I only married as a business transaction.
Making his way up the stairs, Marnix heads down the hall without looking back. I imagine he’s going to the room that was originally mine to clean up and change. I’ve taken over his room since I’ve been back, but he hasn’t complained once. Honestly, he hasn’t complained about anything. I’m sure that’s not what he imagined when he put me in his room the day I came home, but he let me stay there without him.
Is this still my home?
His words ring in my head.“Whatever you need, Tara, it’s yours. Forever.”Sometimes when he’s being sweet, it throws me off-kilter. I’m not used to him being kind and loving.
Huffing, I pull open the refrigerator door and grab one of Cohutta’s beers. Instinctively, I check the seal of the metal top before opening it. This is the first drop of alcohol I’ve had since I escaped Zayan. Even though no one in this house would drug me, old habits die hard. I’ll probably never get over that for as long as I live.
Tuna sits beside her empty food bowl, staring up at me with that irresistibly cute face and I can’t help but smile. I pat my bare thigh. “Come on. Let’s go to the pool.” The loyal furball doesn’t hesitate to follow after me when I go outside.
She jumps into my lap as I settle on the lounger and rub her favorite spot behind her ears, causing her to nuzzle into me. “I believe he’s a good man, Tuna. He just made a mistake. Don’t we all? Doesn’t mean he doesn’t eventually deserve my forgiveness. Right?” She looks at me, tilting her head with confusion. “Yeah, I’m just as confused, pretty girl.”
I look like a crazy lady talking to my dog about my marriage problems.
I guess it could be worse.
This morning I had one of the worst freakouts. The only other time it was this bad was when I found out Nix left Tara with Zayan. When I woke up, she was gone. Her sweet little body wasn’t positioned between me and Reilly like it usually is. It’s probably irrational for me to feel that way, but at this point, I’m always on edge that she’s going to get taken away again in the blink of an eye.
My heart is still beating out of my chest from the thought that Tara was held captive by that asshole. My fingers still twitch against the keyboard as I sit in my office. This woman is going to be the death of me one way or another. I’ve never felt like this before about anyone. It's a new feeling, like my heart is going to rip out of my chest every time I see her beautiful face. My entire world tilts on its axis when I’m worried about her. All of it is chaotic and unnerving, but it’s every single thing I want with Tara.
She’s the light in my life. Both her and Reilly have turned me into someone I never thought possible. Between the both of them, I feel happy and comfortable being myself. I’m cared for and appreciated. We’re just in the beginning stages of what this all means, but it can become something incredibly great and promising.
Being with Reilly has been one of the biggest surprises of them all. I’ve been aware of my sexuality for a while now, but this is new for him. I didn’t expect him to be so open when we were all in bed together, especially after the kissing fiasco, but that man is straight sex appeal. He’s a walking god, and knowing that I get to have a part of that is fucking incredible.
Thinking about our time together has my body heating up with need and desire. I can still taste his salty cum on my tongue. I’d give a lot to have more time with them like that again. The future for us looks incredibly promising. The biggest mystery is where Nix is going to fit into this. He and Tara have a long way to go, but he won’t give up.
The door opens, and I hear steps coming inside. “Mind if I join?” Nix sits in the chair beside me, watching me pull up various computer screens.
“It is your house,” I say sarcastically. The tension between us is starting to simmer down, but sometimes the memories of what he did come to the forefront of my mind and I can’t help myself.
Tara and Nix have been interacting more, and now that she’s almost healed up, she’ll beat his ass if it comes down to it. Not that I think he’d put up a fight. The puppy dog eyes he gives her tell me everything. He’d take the world's worst ass-beating if it meant she’d forgive him. Not going to lie, I’d give money to see that, and I can’t say I don’t think he deserves it.
