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Simone:Drop whatever you’re doing and watch this immediately! P.S. I told you!!!!
After a bunch of heart and confetti emojis, she sends a link to a TikTok video. I sigh, not in the mood to watch another video about rescue farms she’s been sending me every day to cheer me up. I’m too impatient to go see Coop. Then it registers it’s one of his posts and my heart beats hard, sending a pulse through my body.
Once I click on the link, he fills my screen. A noise catches in my throat. He’s wearing the same thing he wore to the party. I remember thinking how unfairly good he looks with the fitted t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and chest. Did he film this that night after he left?
The post is already viral with thousands of comments in the hour and a half since it’s been uploaded. I sink to my bed.
“Welcome back to part three of my truth series,” he starts. “If you’re confused, start with part one.”
I scramble to his account to find the first video to watch from the beginning. When I checked on Friday, he hadn’t uploaded anything new, but now I find several new posts all labeled as truth series in multiple parts. The first one was posted after lunch while I was in class.
Cooper is seated in his desk chair, arms braced on his knees. He shoots the camera a sheepish yet resolute glance at the start of the recording from Friday night. My heart swells and a breathless laugh leaves me at the way he adjusts his backwards hat, the ends of his messy brown hair curling out from underneath the faded blue edges.
“So, you’ve probably been wondering where I am. A lot of you have been demanding Tatum content, and I hear you. I’ve got to come clean, though.” Cooper licks his lips slowly, chest expanding with a deep breath. “It was fake. We weren’t really dating. The truth is, I convinced the girl I’ve always liked to pretend to be my girlfriend so I could prove to her I’m the guy for her.”
My stomach bottoms out and my eyes widen. Always liked? I miss what he says next and start the video over. I restart it twice more just to be sure.
He definitely said always liked. Swallowing, I allow the video to play through.
“See, we’d been getting closer over the summer.” His mouth twists into a playful smirk and he swipes a hand over his mouth, dipping his chin to peer up at the viewer through hooded eyes. I’m aware of how much looks like that make his followers swoon, and it’s getting me, too. “I thought if I posed as her boyfriend, she’d realize how great we are together.”
A pang echoes in my chest when his expression falls and he shows more of his real self.
“Things didn’t work out like I wanted,” he admits quietly. “I thought we got to a point where she was ready, but when I told her I was tired of pretending, she thought I wanted to see other people. I didn’t mean I was tired of her, just that I wanted it to stop being a fake act. I lost the nerve to ask her out.”
I inhale so sharply, I choke on nothing.
“What?” I hiss once my coughing fit passes.
The video starts over and I watch it through again, catching the ending I missed where he says this series is all about getting the truth out there. Shaking my spinning head, I start the next video, covering my mouth with my fingers. This time there’s a pile of familiar colored hearts next to him on his desk.
“So part two of the truth series.” Cooper rubs his jaw. “Here’s a truth: I saw her tonight at a frat party on campus. We’re supposed to be friends, but you know what was running through my head the whole time? How much I was dying to pull her in my arms and kiss the shit out of her. Some guy was talking to her, making her laugh, and I hated it. Fuck the friend zone.”
He waves a hand over the massive pile of sticky notes and my attention flicks to a smaller, matching collection from every note he’s written me on my own desk.
“I like to write her these. They always make her smile, and let me tell you, her smile is one of my favorite things about her. Making her smile is the best part of my day. These notes all have the things I love about her. I’ve been writing it all down since we broke up. Whenever I had the urge to go see her and tell her the truth, I’d write these.” He gives the camera a wry smile and scoops up some of the pile, allowing the pastel hearts to flutter back to the desk. “It’s an urge I have often.”
“Oh, Coop.” A thick, emotional laugh leaves me. I cover my eyes while his voice washes over me. “We’re idiots.”
This whole time we’ve been assuming we want other people while suffering the burden of loving each other. In his words, fuck the friend zone.
“All of these notes are ones I couldn’t leave her.” He picks one out at random and reads it. “When you smile, anything feels possible.” Then he picks another. “Nothing compares to your eyes lit up when you’re happy.” Another. “I watch old videos just to hear your laugh. If I don’t hear it, my day isn’t right.”
Each confession steals my breath.
A tear spills down my cheek and a lump lodges in my throat. I didn’t think it was possible to fall any harder for Cooper than I already have, but he’s proving me wrong as he reads out countless things he loves about me.
He reads every note on his desk for two more videos. By the time I reach the end of his truth series posts, there’s a new video just posted a few minutes ago while I was watching the others. This one’s labeled get the girl and when I open it, he’s no longer in his room.
Cooper stands beneath a tree somewhere on campus in a sea of colorful heart notes. They’re hanging from the branches, swaying in the breeze.
“Hey, so this is the last video in the truth series. This is the part where I get the girl.” His handsome smile is more confident than the previous videos he created after the party. He winks. “Hopefully. I need to shoot my shot. I’ll be here waiting for you, because I love you Tatum Danvers. Come find me.”
FORTY-FIVE
TATUM
Cooper’s last video plays on repeat while I run across campus from my dorm to find him. Students that recognize me shout when I pass them.
