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“Baselessly?” he shot back. “Tati, you’ve got this niggaspending the night,comfortable as fuck in your house, like a month ago you didn’t get…”
He couldn’t finish it.
I crossed my arms. “It’s okay to say it,Blue.I was raped. Fucked without permission—”
“Don’t say that shit.”
“Fuck you!” I screamed, doubly frustrated, by him, and by the tears that had broken free. “I will call it whatever the fuck I want, frame it how I want, because it happenedto me,” I told him, slapping my chest. “I could be curled up somewhere in a fucking ball and it would be valid. I could eviscerate that motherfucker and spread his pieces all around this city and it would be valid. I can reclaim ownership ofmybody, and do what makesmefeel normal, and it’svalid!Fragile?!You’re really saying that shit tome?!” I growled and then my hand was back before I could catch myself, smacking him across the face.
And he let me.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke, his tone so much softer than just a moment before, and I…
Immediately broke down in tears.
“I’msorry,” he repeated, wrapping his arms around me to pull me into him as I sobbed. “You’re not fucking…fragile, you’rejust… my goddamn sister and I’m worried about you,” he muttered into my hair. “That night when you called me… I’ve never seen you like that before.”
I lifted my head, not caring that I was a snotty mess. “Like what?”
With his arms still heavy around me, he sighed. “…Broken. I know, I wasn’t the injured party, butshit.You don’t know how that felt for me,” he said, eyebrows furrowed. “You’ve always been bulletproof; I needed you to be bulletproof, ’cause we were still in recovery mode. Then seeing you like that and not being able to undo it… It’s a mindfuck, Tati.”
“Iknowthat.”
“Do you?” he countered. “Cause if you do, it shouldn’t be a surprise for me to see you asdelicate.Not unbreakable, not anymore. Yeah, I thought Nyx would be good for you because I saw the care he took for you that night, the way he stepped up, knew he was fucking solid.”
“All of that is still true.”
“Except, for how long?” he questioned, letting me go. “Tati, you’re not… the lovey-dovey shit ain’t you, but I’ve seen how you’ve been responding to this nigga, seen how you look at him. And that shit this morning? Heowns your pussy? Really?”
I shrugged. “What can I say, the dick thus far has been amazing. And his mouth? I don’t have the words.”
“I don’t want or need to hear that shit.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding.” I laughed. “I know much too much about the sexual proclivitiesyoustepped into when you were grieving overmy sisterfor you to be acting like this.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Thepoint,” he said, scowling at me, “is that I expected him to… shit, at least take it slow with you or something?”
I raised an eyebrow. “You expected gentleman behavior from a quite literal shooter. Is everything okay with you, Brandon?”
“Oh I’m Brandon again now?” he asked, hand to his chest. “That’s a relief.”
“You’re on thin ice, nigga,” I told him. “Call mefragileagain and I’m squaring up.”
“Oh shit, it’s getting domestic!”
“Shut up!” I laughed, swatting his arm. “I guess I’m sorry for slapping you. Aww, your face is red,” I gushed. “You should’ve hit me back.”
“Bullshit.” He cackled. “So your nigga could come ziplining out the ceiling onme? I think the fuck not.”
“He’smy nigganow? Do you trust him or not, damn?”
Brandon blew out a sigh. “Trust ain’t the problem; it never was,” he said. “I just know he’s already flipped his hourglass. You’ve gotta ask yourself, are you comfortable getting close to him not knowing when it’s going to run out?”
I hadto pull myself together after the conversation with BrandonbeforeI sought Onyx out. Once we’d made it past the blowup, I’d gotten my debrief about the meeting with RojasandBrandon’s gossipy recap of a phone call with Alicia afterward.
