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I swallow the huge lump in my throat. It’s now or never…
“Whatcha doing?” he teases with a playful sparkle in his eye.
With my hands firmly on top of the paper, I answer through tight lips. “Working on my list, thank you very much. Are you done with yours?”
“Yup, finished yesterday. Are you ready to go over them? I can make us sandwiches.”
Standing and putting the paper under my seat cushion, I say, “I’m ready. I’ll help you make lunch first though.”
Working side by side in silence, stealing glances that make him grin and me flush again, we make sandwiches and a salad together. We sit to eat, and he smirks at me between bites — he knows I’m miserable with anticipation. He chuckles softly and shakes his head at me again.
What is he going to say about my list? Is it too far out there? What’s going to be on his list?
Oh geez, I know I’ve been asking him for two days to spill the beans, but now I don’t want to know. What if I don’t like what he wants or I think his personal goals are dumb, or he thinks mine are? What if I can’t make him happy or we don’t want the same things?
Trying to tame my racing heart, I say, “I’m done and ready if you are. Do you have yours?”
“It’s on a note on my phone,” he says as he pulls out his phone and sets it on the table.
“Do you want to read them to each other or switch and talk about it after?”
“Probably easier to switch lists and then talk,” he replies.
Okay, here goes nothing…
I grab the paper from under my chair cushion and he laughs as I hand it to him.
“Don’t be nervous, babe. Nothing you could say or want will make me think bad of you. I promise.” His genuine smile is doing little for my shaky body.
“WAIT!” I yell as I pull back my paper and hold it to my chest.
He immediately folds over the table laughing.
Through his chuckles, he says, “It’s not a big deal. You can tell me anything. You know I’d never judge you.” His face becomes soft, and he grabs my empty hand and squeezes it.
After taking a deep breath, I say, “Okay, okay. I know you’re right. Promise me you won’t run away screaming.”
“I promise. Now hand it over.” He draws back his hand and holds it out palm up as he waits with raised eyebrows.
Reluctantly, I place the folded paper in his hand and then reach for his phone.
Moment of truth.
He begins to unfold my paper and I pretend to look at his list but instead, I’m watching his face for clues. Noticing me side-eyeing him, he opens up the paper completely and raises it in front of his face so it covers him completely while he reads it.
“Hmmmmm… Wow, didn’t see that coming.” My heart sinks to my toes. “Yeah, that makes sense. Ohhlala.” He pauses for a moment before his voice a touch. “Whoa!”
He’s fucking with me now and he knows it but that doesn’t stop my body from perspiring like I'm running a marathon here. I hear him snicker behind the paper.
“So…?” I ask when my very last drop of patience runs out.
“Nope, read mine first.” He motions to his phone with his finger.
I focus my eyes on his phone and try to block out his perpetual smirk.
For hisself-goals, he’s listed:get a tattoo and build Ellie a porch swing. For hiscouple goals,all he has listed isjunk loving.
I stare at him deadpan and then roll my eyes so hard my head hurts as he laughs a deep throaty laugh that fills our kitchen. My heart skips a beat at the sound, and I can’t help but grin at his amusement.
