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“Let’s talk about yours first,” I tell him.
“Ok, let’s.”
“You’re ready to get a tattoo?” I ask, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, you know I’ve always wanted one but didn’t want to get one until I was for sure ready. Ever since Joe got his latest a couple of months ago, you know that red dragon down his back, I’ve been thinking about it more seriously. When Katherine asked what we wanted as individuals, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.” He holds his hand out for his phone and then starts scrolling before he hands it back to me. On the screen is a text message chain with Joe with several photos of different tattoos. “I’ve been shooting ideas back and forth with Joe all weekend about it. I want something that represents the kids, not completely sure about the design yet though but something along these lines.” He points down to my list that he set on the table. “I didn’t know you wanted a tattoo either. I see it’s onself-goalstoo.”
“Yeah, it’s only been in the last couple of years I’ve really considered it though. Every year when the cherry blossom trees line Main Street in the spring, I always think about how much joy they bring me and how they’d be beautiful to see year-round. That got me thinking that’d be a gorgeous tattoo to see every day. I looked up what they mean, and it said:time of renewal.” I smile at him thinking about our current season of growth. “Seems appropriate considering we’re in atime of renewaltoo. I was thinking I want six pink cherry blossoms on the top of my right foot. That way, when I look down, it will remind me to find the beauty in change, and let my feet carry me through new seasons.”
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
“Thanks… I’d love to go through the ideas with you and when you decide we can go together,” I tell him.
“I’d like that.”
I nod and switch his phone back to his list. “Why a porch swing? That seems kind of random.”
“Well, when we started dating, you told me once that you wanted a porch swing to watch your kids grow up from.” He laughs remembering the conversation. “You panicked and immediately tried to take it back right after you said it because we’d only been dating a few months and you didn’t want to scare me. What I didn’t tell you then was that your confession was actually the first time I saw myself having kids with you. I wanted to be on that porch swing right next to you for the rest of my life.” I see a light tint of pink under his tan skin. “I didn’t want to freak you out either, but I’ve wanted to make you one ever since. I planned to build one when we bought the house and surprise you, but then I got so busy with work while I was doing all the renovations on top of that. Then had the kids and then more kids,” he laughs softly, “and that project kind of got away from me. I’d like to do it now if you’d still like that.”
A warmth spreads in my chest hearing his confession from over fifteen years ago. “That is so thoughtful. I’d love that, thank you,” I beam.This man knows the way to my heart.“Now for your couple’s goals. That’s all you got?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as his eyebrows jump at me.
“Well, you know I don’t think anything is wrong with our relationship— ”
I cut him off. “I don’t think anything iswrongwith our relationship either, love. I really hope you don’t think that. We’re just not eighteen anymore and we’ve changed, and I want to get to know each other again. I don’t want you to thinkI thinksomething is wrong. I just want to spend more time on us.”
Squeezing my hand, he says, “I know, I know. But the assignment is already to spend time together and to get nasty more often, so I figured I’d add my favorite foreplay to the list.”
“Your favorite?” I ask, eyebrows raised.
“Yes.” He looks at me with a stoic face but that only lasts a few seconds before he cracks himself up again.
“Jokes on you. I actually like taking you in my mouth.” I wink at him as his mouth forms the perfectOand I giggle. “Maybe we should add more foreplay anyway since that has been neglected over the years because we’ve always felt so pressed for time.”
“I think that would be good. Now to your list. We’ve already talked about the tattoo, but you want to learn to dance?”
I nod. “I see people dance on videos and thinkI wish I could do that. I don’t want to be a professional or anything crazy, but getting my body moving more with yoga with Jess has made me want to tap into that part of me. I was thinking I could join Zumba, be the Latin Mommy to your Latin Daddy.” I wiggle my hips in my chair and sway my arms out in front of me like a doofus.
“You have always lovedLatin Daddy,” he says with an exaggerated fake Spanish accent.
“Sí!Spanish-themed foreplay would bemuycaliente!” I joke.
Scratching his head and pretending to forget his second language, he says, “Uhhhh,donde esta la biblioteca?”
I roll my eyes at him, “Moving on…”
“Yes, on to the good stuff.” He clears his throat and holds the list in front of him like he’s reading the Declaration of Independence to Congress for a vote.
My cheeks are burning as he says, “I’m just teasing you. It’s not bad. It’s just fun to watch that pretty pink flush your cheeks.” He winks at me.
My couple goals are: tointroduce sex toysandopen communication.
“Toys, huh?” he questions, his face now the epitome of seriousness.
Now’s the time to put my big girl panties on and say what I need, to let the voice inside of my head out. I swallow the lump in my throat and bring my diverted eyes straight to his. I’m met with the slightest mischievous smirk on his still stoic facade.
“Yes, toys.” I swallow again and sit up a little straighter. “I think I’m part of the majority of women who don’t have an orgasm with penetration alone…” I try to keep my tone even, but this next bomb might be a doozy. "But it really has been years since I’ve had an orgasm during sex.” I’m watching for any signs of discomfort in his eyes, but I’m only met with an attentive gaze, so I continue. “I don’t know if it’s because I’ve changed since giving birth or what, but I want to figure out how I can climax too. And I think toys will help.”
He nods. “I think that’s a great idea. I’m totally down to learn with you.”
