Page 62 of Making Time for Us


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“I love your father very much, my girl. He’s my best friend and I knew in my heart we would always be together. I do regret not putting in the time and energy to stay connected on a deeper level as we grew older and changed. Now it just feels like it’s too late.”

Her words speak to my deepest insecurities. I never want to let anything get in the way of my love for Marco. I won’t let it happen.

As I prepare the kids’ lunches while they get ready for school, I hear my mother’s confession over and over again:I do regret not putting in the time and work to stay connected on a deeper level as we get older and changed.

I don’t want that regret.

Marco comes into the kitchen, dressed in a suit because he’s due in court soon. “Hey, beautiful.” He kisses me on the cheek before meeting my eyes and immediately his face falls. “What’s wrong? Ever since you had lunch with your mom yesterday, you seemed kind of off.”

“Nothing. Just kind of rattled by some things my mom said. And I’m about to start my period so I’m feeling super emotional and anxious. I’m trying to shake it off.”

“Want me to run and get you some chocolate before I head to work?” I laugh and shake my head no. “What did you two talk about anyway?”

“She told me that she regrets not prioritizing her marriage to my dad, and then basically admitted their relationship isehhnow because of it.” I shrug. “I mean, I always knew they weren’t the most fervent people, but it broke my heart to hear her talk about them feeling likeroommatesnow. It’s the saddest thing.” I turn around and stare into his eyes. “Promise me that won’t ever happen to us.”

He walks over to me and places his hand on my chin and lifts it gently, forcing my eyes to his. “Hey, that willneverhappen to us. Do you hear me?Never.”

I nod, my fear forcing my lids to close. “It could. It happened to them,” I whisper.

“Look at me.” I open my eyes to see the determination in his. “We’renotthem and itwon’thappen to us. Our marriage is stronger than that, and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“You do make me happy, really happy.” I reach up and pull his head down for a kiss as he slides his hands down my back and squeezes my behind.

Feeling lost in his warmth, my body melts into his as he deepens our kiss. His tongue beckons for mine so I part my lips for him.

“Ewwww!! That’s so gross. Don’t do that,” Camden shouts as he enters the kitchen, and I immediately start laughing into Marco’s open mouth.

The other three snicker behind him, dressed and ready for school.

Marco pulls back and looks at all four of them. “I can’t help it. I just love your momsooooooomuch.” He lets go of me and stalks toward the kids with smoochy fish lips. “Do you want kisses too? Daddy will give you lots of kisses too!”

They shoutno… get away from me…you’re so gross, Dadthrough their giggles and run into the living room to get away from him as he chases them.

“I’m gonna get ya!” he jokes as the roar of giggles gets louder.

God, I love this man.

Chapter 23

Satin Fembot

Ellie

Mentallysteelingmyselfforthe project of the day — adding winter clothes to the kids’ wardrobes — I open the garage door after I get home. I’m in for hours pulling the bins from their shelves, sorting the clothes, then washing the clothes and putting them all away in their closets while I empty the ones that don’t fit anymore.

Always something to do as a mom.

My back is already achy from a shitty night’s sleep from my impending period, and I’m about two seconds away from blowing my top for no apparent reason. I’m trying to get my head in the game as the garage slowly rolls up.

I didn’t notice when we were rushing out of the garage this morning to get the kids to school what a giant mess Marco left behind.There are wood boards and sawdust scattered around. Plastic bags with screws and chains and paint cans laying all over the floor. The mess is blocking my access to the damn shelves I need to get into.

I stand rooted in my spot, teeth clenched as force a deep breath in through my nose.

I know this project is for me and I’m grateful. I really am. But would it have been too much to at least contain the mess to one area in the garage?

After I’ve managed to calm myself enough to put one foot in front of the other, I walk into the cluster fuck and get to work.

A few hours later, I’m finished and completely exhausted. I trudge to my bedroom to lay down for a little bit before I have to get the kids. Just a quick snooze because there’s no chance in hell I’m making it through this day without one.

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