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CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
Caroline and her family were sitting at the dining table, having breakfast when their butler, Carlisle, walked in with a letter and handed it to her before taking his leave without saying a word. It had become a sort of tradition for him, as they already knew who it was from.
It had been over a week since she left her husband's house for the comfort of her family's, and Alexander had been sending her letters every day since then, obviously trying to beg her and probably feed her with more lies.
Caroline looked at the letter and suddenly lost her appetite, just like she did every day since the letters started coming, usually around the same time. She could not fathom what he thought he could explain with these letters. She knew what she saw, and she would not be falling for his sweet words any longer. Not when her eyes had shown her the truth.
She had watched from the window on several occasions as he knocked on the door, only to be turned away every time, yet he persisted. She simply could not understand why he did not just take this opportunity to spend as much time as he clearly wanted with his secret lover. The house was empty now.
Caroline jumped at the sudden explosive sound that had just startled her out of her thought, to find her father pushing back his chair in anger. She watched as he headed to the window, shocked at how angry he was. Her ever sweet, loving father had never appeared violent as he did in that moment, and she suddenly found herself worried for Alexander.
"I do not understand what could possibly be going on in that boy's head. Does he think he can disrespect my daughter in that manner, send a few letters, and everything will be alright? Does he really believe I care so little about her that I would hand her over to him again after how much he has hurt her?" he asked, speaking as though she were absent.
Caroline was touched by how protective he was of her. She knew that many parents would send their child back just to avoid any form of gossip, but her father did not seem to care for anything other than her happiness.
"Calm down, there is no need for—" her mother began as she made her way over to her husband.
"Calm? How can you ask me to be calm when this man has taken advantage of our daughter's loving heart and continues to remind us of this mistake with his letters and constant badgering at our gates? I should go over to his house and demand a duel for her honor, which he has so besmirched!" he thundered, shrugging his wife's hands off his person as he paced the length of the room.
" You cannot do that, father. Thank you for wanting to defend me," Caroline said, smiling sadly at her father, "However, I hardly think a duel is the proper way to do that. Besides, while his actions have been less than savory, it would only harm us more if things got more serious."
"Yes, please, father. I am sure having her ignore him is punishment enough." Ann looked at Caroline as she spoke, a small smile playing on her lips at her father's actions.
Despite herself, Caroline rolled her eyes at Ann's antics, she knew what she was thinking. Their father was getting old, and a duel would most likely hurt him more than the younger and stronger Alexander. She knew that neither of them would be voicing their thoughts to him, however. No point in hurting his pride, especially not when he was only trying to defend his daughter's happiness.
Caroline smiled a real smile this time as she stared at him. She rose from her seat and walked over to him, taking his hands in her own and staring into his eyes.
"Thank you for still treating me like your little girl and for wanting to secure my happiness," she said, effectively calming him down as he returned her smile. "Now, let's get back to our food."
"You and your sisters' happiness will always be my priority for as long as I live. Alright, I shan'tchallenge him to a duel as long as he stops appearing here and sending you these letters. Do notthink for a second that I haven't noticed how withdrawn you become whenever you receive them. You are my daughter and I notice your every mood," Lord Campbell said, getting riled up again.
"It is alright, like Ann said, he is already being punished for hurting her," Lady Campbell said. "Although I think he has shown that he is truly repentant and wants her back."
She turned to Caroline, who was staring at her with a shocked expression. "Oh, do not look at me in that manner, I am only doing this for you. I know this is the last thing anyone here at this table wants to hear but society does not take kindly to divorced women. I am your mother, and I simply cannot stand by and watch you ignore this man over and over. Have you even read any of the letters he sent to you? Are you not curious to know what he has to say? To hear his explanation?" she asked desperately.
Caroline stared at her mother in amazement. She wondered why she always found it difficult to take her side and was instead more interested in pushing her own motives.
"I do not need to read any explanation he has to offer, mother. I asked him before if he still cared about her and he looked at me and lied to my face, so his letters probably contain more lies. Lies I do not need to read about. I thought for once you would support me, but I suppose that must be asking too much." She pushed away from the table and stood up, no longer in the mood for conversations.
"But, Caroline—" her mother started.
"No, mother, there are no buts. He would not have lied to me if he truly cared about me. He also would not have brought that woman into our home and done the things he did with her while I was sick and worried in bed. If he truly desired me, he should have considered how I would react before acting in such a despicable manner. His letters have no meaning for me, and I will not be persuaded to read them." Caroline turned and walked up the stairs to her old room.
Caroline lay face down on the bed and screamed into her pillow in frustration. Her feelings were all over the place, but the most dominant were anger, sadness, and frustration. She was angry that, despite the rumors and even her sister's warnings, she had allowed herself to get hurt by choosing to believe Alexander over everyone else. She was angry that once again, her mother was willing to toss her in a place she didn't want to be, simply to avoid the gossip that would sully her reputation if she chose to leave her husband.
She was filled with sadness. She sighed and placed her hand gently on her belly. For the past week, she had allowed herself to feel only anger because she did not want to give way to sorrow. She had promised herself that she wouldn't cry so being angry seemed like the easiest emotion to manage. Now, however, her eyes had gone numb from lack of sleep, and she doubted she could shed a tear.
"I am sorry little one, I have been so angry that I have had no time to be thankful for your presence," she said sadly. She had developed the habit of talking to her belly as if the baby in there could hear her. It helped her feel less alone, like even though she had lost Alexander to his lover, she still had someone who would always be hers.
She rolled over to her side and exhaled slowly as she allowed the sadness to wash over her. She knew she needed to heal if she wanted to have the chance to love her child unconditionally. When she received the news of her pregnancy, she had imagined her child growing up with both parents present and loving, but now it seemed as though her dreams were just that—dreams.
A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts and she looked up to see her sister standing by the doorway, sporting a matching sad expression.
"Are you alright?" Ann asked as walked into the room, joining Caroline on the bed.
"No, I am not, but I will be. I hardly think this feeling shall last forever," she said, not believing her words.
"I am sorry about mother. If it is any consolation, father was very angry with her and let her know immediately after you left."
