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“I know, Julian. I just want to know what’s going on. No secrets.”
I pull away, searching his face, but all that I see is his blank gaze staring back at me. “I’m trying to keep you safe, Marina. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure you survive this impending war.”
“And that’s what has me worried, Julian. What about you? Who’s keeping you safe?”
“I’m the Crown. I’ll be fine.”
I huff. “Nobody’s invincible, Julian. Not even you. Your father’s death should be proof enough of that.”
“I’m not my father,” he snaps. “He allowed the Council to dictate his every move. As tough as he tried to act, he was merely a puppet.”
I sit back on my knees, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Exactly, Julian. Someone murdered him even though he played by all of their rules. What do you think they have planned for you?” I seethe. “Your own damn brother is plotting against you. What he did to Stacey—” A sob gets caught in my throat at the reminder, and Julian bows his head.
“My father was thrust into this lifestyle. You have to remember he wasn’t born a vampire. The gene activated later in life. He relied on the others to help navigate this new world. He trusted the wrong people. I’m trying to not fall into those same traps.”
“If you can’t trust the Council, then disband it.”
“It’s not that simple. Nobody can do this job on their own. I need advisors and I need allies,” he explains. “The key is to balance trust with ruling. My father didn’t do that. He trusted too much in the beginning, and by the time he realized his rule was being threatened by those he gave too much power, it was already too late. He turned to savage rule, turning off his humanity and becoming a monster.”
“What if that happens to you?” The words slip from my lips before I’ve thought them through, and I immediately see Julian’s heckles rise.
“What do you want from me, Marina? Huh? Can’t you just trust me?”
I place my hand on top of his, squeezing once. “Trust is earned, Julian. I can’t trust you when you’re keeping things from me.” I do my best to school my features to appear hard, when underneath, I’m quaking. Every part of me wants to fall into him and cry. I’m scared. I’m worried he’s pulling away. I’m angry that he’s hiding things. “Where’s Shannon?”
“I told you, she’s safe. I’ll protect her at all costs. Right now, I need you to please trust that anything I’m holding back is for your own good. When I know it’s safe, I’ll tell you everything.”
“I’m not a child, Julian, and I’m done allowing you to treat me like one,” I say, standing from the bed and heading toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To get answers.” It’s all I say before walking out and heading to find Law.
He’s in his study, hunched over a stack of papers, when I find him. He looks up, looking weary.
“Where’s Julian?” he asks with a raised brow.
“I left him back in the room. He’s hiding things and I think you know what those things are.”
He takes a long pull from a glass tumbler, half full of amber liquid. “So this is an inquisition?”
“Something like that,” I admit. “I need someone in this place to start talking. I’m done being in the dark, Law.”
He sighs heavily. “Please don’t put me in this position, Rina.” I stiffen at his use of the nickname Maggie often called me. “I agree you deserve to know. It’s why Julian and I were arguing.” He places the tumbler down and looks up at me. “But it’s not my place to tell you. He’s not keeping things from you for any other reason than to protect you, Marina. His reasons are noble, if ill-advised.”
I slump into the chair across from him, motioning toward the amber liquid.
“You sure about that? I know how you feel about alcohol,” he says with a furrowed brow.
I don’t speak, but I reach out for the tumbler, signaling that tonight, all bets are off. He shrugs, sliding the glass across the desk. I pick it up, guzzling the remainder. It burns all the way down, but I don’t so much as wince.
“More?” he asks, and I nod.
If I’m not going to get answers from him, I might as well drink his liquor. The need to forget why I’m in here while Julian is in my bed is intense. For one night, I can forget how much damage alcohol has caused my family. It doesn’t mean I don’t still despise it, but I’m no longer afraid of what it might do to me. I’m stronger than my mother, and secrets will do more harm than a few numbing glasses of whiskey. Law and I sit in companionable silence, each sipping from our glasses, lost in our own thoughts. It’s just what I need to forget that my life is spiraling.
Sometime later a yawn escapes me.
