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Throwing back my covers, I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and rest my head in my hands. My eyes are bloodshot and dry from crying last night. My body aches from lack of sleep. Yet, my purpose is renewed. My soul is on fire. I'm alert and determined to make today what it was meant to be. For Leo. For me.
Mainly, for us.
Will Leo hurt me? Maybe.
Am I willing to risk it? Absolutely.
It's going to be a long day. A stressful day. Mostly, a happy day.
Max can be as upset as he wants. He can make as many empty threats as he needs to feel like he's protecting me from Leo, from a broken heart. He can do and say whatever he has to, to make himself feel better.
I don't give a shit anymore.
Having backup wouldn't be a bad idea. And as much as Brady said he has my back, there's only one person who can really make Max open his eyes and see what he's doing to me.
So that's who I call first, ignoring the text messages and voicemails waiting for me when I power my phone on.
Explaining the lies was hard, but they understood my motives. Why we felt we had to sneak around. Why we chose to keep our relationship a secret from everyone else.
Mostly, they understood the fear of what happens next.
The big reveal.
"Max will see it as a personal attack. You deceiving him. Lying. And as much as we both know your relationship has nothing to do with him, he will be valid in his feelings. The reason you lied was because of him. The reason you feel scandalous every time you meet up with Leo is because of Max. Because you know how he feels about the situation. Which is what led to the sneaking around behind Max's back.
"But remember one thing for me." I hear shuffling in the background when she pauses, followed by a deep laugh. It's early and I'm guessing she's still in bed. And not alone. "If he's worth it, if you really like this guy and want to take a chance on him, the risk was worth the reward. Tomorrow you won't have to hide the way you feel. You won't have to wait until nightfall to sneak behind your dorm and make out."
The thought makes me frown. I really enjoyed those nights. Knowing we were hidden in the shadows but there was still a chance we could get caught was a high. Every time we heard footsteps, our bodies would go stiff, mine pressed between the hard contours of Leo's body and the unforgiving brick of the building.
I'm going to miss those nights.
"Thank you. I really appreciate you talking to me, Lo. I thought I was ready to face Max, but now I feel even more confident. Can you please ask Finn to keep him from hitting Leo, though?"
Her muffled voice is the confirmation I need. "He says he'll try."
"That's really all I can ask."
"You're going to be fine, Evie. Max will get over it the same way he got over the fact Finn and I were sneaking around behind his back."
"That was different, and you know it. You two have loved each other for years, Lo. Years. I've only known Leo for a few months."
"And you love him?"
She would ask me that.
"No, but I think I could. I think he came into my life at the perfect time."
"And the sex?" There's a hint of humor in her voice as she whispers into the phone. Knowing Lo, she's grinning from ear to ear, enjoying this conversation more than I am.
"I wouldn't know."
"You can tell me, you know. Max might still see you as a little girl, but I've watched you blossom into a beautiful young woman, Evie, and being sexually active isn't a big deal as long as you're safe."
"Seriously, Lo? You're giving me the safe sex talk? You realize Mom and Dad gave that to me about four years ago, right?"
"No, I'm not giving you the talk. I just want you to know that if you ever want to talk about anything like that with me, you can. I'm here for you. Always."
When Max went off to college, it didn't really have an effect on me. Life went on without him at the house. Family dinners were quieter, and Dad seemed a little lost at first, but the world kept spinning for me. When Lo left, it felt like everything stopped. My sister, my best friend, my confidant was gone. The person I went to with any problems, who I stayed up late and watched movies with, who always made time for me ... she wasn't there anymore.
There was a huge shift in my universe. It took me a while to adapt. Now that we're here, together, it feels like things are shifting back to the way they used to be. She's once again my go-to person. And I couldn't be more grateful.
"I'm a virgin, Lo." My confession is met with uncomfortable silence. When she doesn't respond after a few seconds, I try to make a joke of it, but my voice lacks inflection. Instead, I end up sounding sad about my revelation. "Not for lack of trying."
