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Without thought, I drop to my knees before her, head bowed, begging for forgiveness. I don’t deserve it, but I will spend every waking moment making it up to her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m worthless. Nothin’ but a fucking arsehole. I’m exactly like the man I hate most in this world.”
Something happens, and I’m powerless to stop it.
Tears begin to fall, washing away the face which has owned me since I was five years old.
With the gentlest of touches, Cami lifts my chin, but I recoil—I don’t deserve her touch or her kindness. I never have. But she won’t let me win. She will be my beacon in a weathering storm.
“You’re nothing like him,” she whispers, reaching into her pocket for a tissue.
She commences rubbing my cheek, cleansing my face of the demon which stains my skin.
“You fight to better the lives of everyone. That’s all you’ve ever done. You’ve sacrificed your life, your happiness for all of us. You’ve been our strength, so now”—she gently wipes around my mouth—“let me be yours.
“I want you. The good. The bad. The ugly. I want it all because I want, I will always want you, Puck Kelly. Demons and all.”
She pulls away, and I’m confused why as she’s only cleaned half my face. One side is still slathered in paint, and that’s the cheek she cups tenderly.
“You’re split right down the middle. You wear two faces, regardless of if I clean it away. These scars are yours to carry forever. There has to be darkness for us to appreciate the light, and even though your darkness rules you, those glimmers of light are blinding.
“And that’s enough. Your darkness may reign, but I know, in the end, your light will win.”
She lowers her lips and kisses me softly, granting me the greatest gift of all—her.
I lick away her blood, a primitive move like one does when they get a paper cut. Their first instinct is to put their thumb into their mouth. We are one—one blood, one body.
She coaxes me to stand, and when I do, I look at Cian, who sheepishly averts his gaze. But this isn’t his fault. I don’t blame him for wanting revenge. That’s all I’ve sought for my entire life. But now I have something more.
A family.
Cian lets the rope go slowly, and Sean collapses onto his front. He’s out cold. He’s a mess, and I wish the sight made me happy, but it doesn’t.
“I’ll meet you inside.” She knows I need time.
I kiss Cami on her forehead, still repulsed at myself for accidentally striking her in my rage.
When she leaves, I exhale deeply. “Can I nick a feg?”
Cian digs into his pocket and offers me the box and a lighter.
With bloodied fingers, I reach for them and go outside. I need fresh air; I need to feel it on my heated cheeks to remind me that I’m still alive.
My hands shake as I place the cigarette into my mouth, cupping it to light it. Once the nicotine hits my lungs, I sigh because it helps take the edge off. It’s dusk, which has me wondering just how long I tortured Sean for.
I lost myself, and if it wasn’t for Cami, I think I would be gone for good.
“Why is yer face painted like that?”
Shay’s voice catches me off guard. I don’t want him seeing me like this, so I quickly turn my back to him and butt out my smoke. But I should know that isn’t a deterrent for him.
“A’ll be inside in a minute. D’ya need anythin’?”
“Where’s Mummy?”
I want to lie to him, to save him the pain I’ve experienced firsthand. But look where that got me.
“Is she dead?”
