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Rae
“Happyeighteenthbirthdaykids,drink up!” Nick says, raising his cup to Joel and me as everyone else follows suit.
It’s the first weekend in April. My birthday is in two days, Joel’s is in four, and today, we are having a joint birthday party at his house with all of our friends. Objectively, it’s a good party. I think back to last year when Davey “helped” everyone plan the party.Feels like another lifetime ago.Ugh. This party is better. Or at least it would be if things weren’t still broken between Aaron and me.
In the three weeks since the snow day and our fight, not much has changed. I’m still closed off and he still looks at me with longing in his eyes. Except, ya know, when he’s too busy hanging out with Caity, which he is tonight.
I don’t know if I have a right to be jealous of that. But for someone who kept saying I was wrong, and he wants me, he sure isn’t showing it. And I don’t know how to let him in again. Normally my birthday is a day I look forward to. Aaron coming over at midnight to watch the stars. Somehow, I doubt that’s going to happen this year.
Instead, I’m going to keep spending my time without the person I want the most.
I drink a bit of water to go along with Nick’s toast.
Happy freaking birthday to me.
This sucks. It all sucks. And I’m moping.
I feel bad. This party is for Joel and me and I’m being a complete party pooper. I don’t want to dance. I don’t want to have fun. I want to sit in a chair and sulk. So, I am. Until Miles drops down next to me.
“You think you’re doing yourself any favors by being so miserable?” he asks.
I scrunch up my face as I nod to where Aaron and Caity are laughing about something. Because of course they are. Why not?
“How am I supposed to be after what happened?”
He shakes his head. “You know he’s trying to get to you.”
“Well, it’s obviously working.”
“Don’t let it.”
“Easier said than done, Miles.”
“Okay, fine,” he says, eyes intently focused on me. “Don’t let himknowit’s working. You can feel as miserable as you want in here,” he says, pointing to my heart. “Then tonight you can cry it out. I’ll even sit with you and watch one of those gag-worthy rom-coms. But right now, go have fun. It’s your birthday party. Live a little.”
He yanks me up from the chair and leads me over to the part of the deck where everyone is dancing.
I admit, there’s plenty of good music.
Miles is probably right.
And, honestly, I’m being a total sourpuss. I only get one eighteenth birthday party. Ishouldbe having fun.
So, I give him a grin as he shoves me into the center of everyone, where Mackie, Sarah, and Joel are dancing, too.
“Good, you got her out here,” Joel says to Miles.
I lean up against Mackie and Sarah and we all start dancing together, hands all over each other.
Miles whistles. “Goddamn.”
“You told me to have fun,” I say with a smirk.
“Yeah, I didn’t tell you to put on a show that’s gonna give all the guys here boners.”
Hyla joins our little party. “But it’s so much fun.”
And for a minute, it is, and I let myself enjoy it.
