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“I saw it—what was happening to you.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“I saw Aaron storm out, and I was worried. You two never fight like that. Sarah must have noticed, too, because she went after him. I knew you were on the dance floor, and it looked like you might go after him, so I went back to my conversation. The next thing I knew, I looked up and saw you being dragged toward that bedroom.” He shuts his eyes and shakes his head. When he opens them again, his eyes are glassy. “I started to walk toward you, but then I saw the two guys guarding the door. I didn’t think I could take all three, so I went to get help. But… seeing you like that—” He stops short as his voice quakes. “You all are my family. I’d do anything,anythingfor you. Leaving you in that situation, even to get help, was the worst feeling. I felt like I couldn’t move fast enough.” He sniffs and wipes a tear from his cheek. “Anyway, I’m sorry. Sorry I couldn’t get to you. Couldn’t stop it from happening at all—”
He stops again when he notices me crying. Seeing Miles cry is rare. That alone could make me cry. Combined with everything we’ve been through tonight, forget it.
“I thought I was alone. It was the worst feeling ever. But…” I reach out and take his hand in mine. “Knowing that you saw, that you got help, Miles, that means everything to me. None of it is your fault. Please don’t take that on. And thank you. For helping to get me out of there. Aaron might’ve carried me out, but he wouldn’t have gotten there if it wasn’t for you.”
Miles shakes his head slowly. “I’ve never seen Aaron that angry. He was brimming with pure rage. I mean, we all were. But with him?”
“I’m worried his hand might be broken. It’s so swollen.”
“He punched that guy a lot of times. Then Joel and I did. I never thought I’d be in a situation where I’d want to kill someone, but seeing him tower over you? I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp. Would’ve been better than he deserved.”
I manage a smile and say, “I’m glad you didn’t. I’m not sure you could rock a jumpsuit.”
He laughs and scooches toward me, wrapping an arm around me. I jump at the sensation, then force myself to take a deep breath and focus on the fact that it’s Miles. I inhale his scent and think of all the times he’s tickled me until I almost peed my pants or squeezed me tightly while whispering a naughty joke in my ear.
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.”Sort of. I don’t want to be freaked out by my friends touching me. “I don’t want you to not hug me and stuff. That would be weird. But it might take me a little while to be… comfortable with it again. Fuck.”
He looks at me tentatively and slowly moves his hand to my back. I give him a nod, letting him know it’s all right. He gently runs his hand up and down my back. “I’m sorry this happened to you. Just know we’re all here for you.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and hold my mug out. He clinks his beer bottle against it. “I know, buddy. Thank you.”
We watch the fire together in silence for a little while before I get up and head back toward the house. As I’m walking to the door, Joel comes out to the deck, beer in hand.
I walk over to him, but before I can say anything, he throws his arms around me. Again, I jump at the sensation. I half pull out of the hug before I realize what I’m doing. I don’t want to pull away from Joel’s bear hugs. They’re always comforting. So, why is my skin crawling now? Is this going to be a thing? Am I going to permanently hate being touched? No. Fuck, no. I’m not letting him take that from me. I push past the sensation and wrap my arms around Joel.
“Are you sure this is okay?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whisper, and he squeezes me back.
The unsettling feeling still rolls through my spine, but I push it down.
“I love you, Rae Rae,” he whispers in my ear.
“Love you too, Joelskies.”
“I’m here if you need anything.”
“I know. How about we avoid parties for a while?”
“Deal.”
I pull away and head back inside, finding the girls right where I left them.
I plop down at the table across from Mackie and Sarah. They’ve moved on to beer, but I have no stomach for alcohol.
“Am I the first?” I ask them.
They look at me, confused.
“What happened to me tonight… it’s like an awful rite of passage for most women. It doesn’t always look the same way, but it happens to so many of us. I guess I’m wondering if you guys have ever had moments like this. I know we, theoretically, tell each other everything, but if I’d experienced anything like this without you guys there, I know I wouldn’t have been jumping to tell you. You would’ve had to pry it out of me.”
Sarah and Mackie look between themselves.
