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“Right now, with you in my arms, I am,” I admit truthfully, and the bright smile she gives me makes it all worth it as I lean in. “Now sleep, and I will protect you from any more nightmares. Nothing will ever hurt you while I am around, Tally.”
“And when you are gone?” she whispers, closing her eyes as she leans into me.
“It doesn’t bear thinking about,” I admit softly as I kiss her head and close my eyes, trying to imagine my life before her. She’s right—it was lonely and unfulfilled. She brought purpose and colour back to it. She brought the sun, so how will I ever go back to living in the dark alone, longing for a mate I can never keep?
TWENTY-ONE
TALIA
The next morning, I watch Cato. He’s different today, more reserved and acting cold towards me. He still brings me food, makes sure I drink, and answers my questions, but there is a distance between us that makes my heart ache. Rubbing my chest, I find my eyes drifting to him again, wondering if I freaked him out last night with my tears and confessions. He doesn’t seem like the type to shy away from the hard stuff, though, so why is he pulling away from me?
I miss feeling his eyes and hands on me.
I miss him, and he’s right here.
“Have you heard anything from Aria?” I find myself asking, and he stiffens before shaking his head at me. I frown at his reaction and focus back on the research before me. Biting my lip, I remember the way he kissed me yesterday, as if he couldn’t get enough of me, and the way he held me last night so sweetly, protecting me from my dreams. He also comforted me about my biggest insecurity and didn’t seem to care about my body’s own self-sabotage.
I should be able to have kids. I’m a woman—it’s biological.
Or that’s what is drilled into us from a young age.
Our worth is only measured by our wombs.
It took me a long time to realise that I’m still a woman—stupid, I know—but that’s what I felt like. Not being capable of bearing children made me feel like I wasn’t wanted nor desirable, like I wasn’t complete, yet he knew and got to the heart of the issue. Cato reassured me about the things that were worrying me.
How can he go from holding me so tightly and promising me I’m whole to not looking me in the eye? It hurts, if I’m honest, and I find myself slumping into my work, worrying I said or did something without realising it. Maybe he’s starting to hate having me around like everyone else eventually does.
“Nothing at all?” I find myself asking, trying to start a conversation.
“No,” he rumbles, but I narrow my eyes. Something is nagging at me. He won’t look at me, and he’s clearly feeling awkward…
Is he lying to me?
I had a feeling he was, and now I’m sure of it.
“My ex used to lie to me,” I start without looking at him. I feel his head snap to me as I carry on. It’s not something I’ve told anyone before, but I have to make him understand. He’s silent as I speak while looking at the research. “I loved him, or I thought I did. I think I was more in love with the idea of him and of us, of not being alone anymore. I shared everything with him, my hopes, my dreams, my fears…and my research.” I pause briefly, letting that sink in.
“I was working on it in my spare time, so no one else knew. It was my passion, my hope. I was going to present it at the next open call to try and give myself a name so I could research what I wanted, but I was an idiot. I didn’t see his greed until it was too late. He was an okay scientist, but he didn’t have the drive to create his own research or notice the problems around us. He couldn’t see past orders. Instead, to make a name for himself, he stole my research and passed it off as his own. To this day, he’s working on it, being funded and praised.” Shaking my head, I curl my lip in disgust. “When I confronted him, he lied to my face and then continued to lie. He gaslit me to make me seem crazy, and it worked because I’m a woman and he’s a man. He got away with it, and now I find it really hard to trust anyone.” I purposely meet his eyes, letting him see my anger and disappointment over the fact he would lie to me.
“So when someone lies to me, I never forgive them,” I tell him as I lock eyes with him and see the guilt eat up his pupils. “You are lying to me! Where is she?”
“Tally,” he starts, holding his palms up. “Let me explain.”
“No, I want the truth! I trusted you!” I scream, tears filling my eyes when I realise it’s true. I trusted him, the only person I have since my asshole ex. I trusted him, and just like everyone else, he’s been lying to me. All those soft, sweet moments are now tainted when faced with his guilt.
“Tal—” The door slams open, and we both turn to see his brother there.
He ignores me completely, his eyes on his friend and leader. “There’s an emergency!”
Cato is on his feet in seconds, striding out of the door. I hurry after him, panting as I race down the stairs, but I’m unable to keep up. He stills at the bottom, watching in horror as one of his people screams as he is carried through the door. Blood covers nearly all of his body, and his horns are broken, but there are no obvious wounds since he’s writhing too much to see anything.
“What happened?” Cato barks, a transformation coming over him. He’s fierce, protective, and in control. Everyone snaps to attention.
“Human attack at the border,” one of the males yells. “They were trying to find their way in. We stopped them, but Freck was shot.”
“In there, now. We need healing supplies,” he commands. “You, get water and send out word to patrols.” He barks out orders, and I watch, dry-mouthed, as they rush to do his bidding, and when those blazing eyes turn to me, I almost shiver with desire. “Back upstairs, Talia, now.”
He turns away, expecting me to follow his command, but fuck that. Someone is hurt, and I can help. Pushing all my anger and worry away for the moment, I hurry after him. The monster has been placed on a table, and the room is filled with supplies. Tying my hair back, I barge through their masses to see Cato looking him over, but he’s unsure. “Where’s the healer?” he demands.
