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She followed him back to the kitchen and when he set the dishes in the sink, she started rinsing them.
He laughed. “We could leave them.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I’m sure you could, but I don’t want to create extra work for anyone.”
He smiled through pursed lips and opened the dishwasher. Once they’d cleaned up, he took hold of her hand and led her to the back door and out to a lovely patio.
“Wow! It’s beautiful out here.” There was a pool and several tables and chairs, giving a gorgeous view of the vineyards.
“It’s nicer in the summer.” He looked at the pool, then back at her. “Do you swim?”
She laughed. “I do, but I’m more used to the creek than something like that.”
She’d hoped that he’d laugh with her, but he got serious and came to stand in front of her. “I know I asked you earlier, but it feels even more important now, Becca. Do you think you can get used to this?”
She nodded slowly. “I’d like to, but summer’s a long time away, Jacob.”
“I know.” He ran his hand through his hair and turned away from her, walking a few paces before he stopped and stared out at the vineyards.
She felt bad. She wasn’t turning him down – just trying to be realistic. She went to stand behind him and put her hand on his back. She was shocked to feel how tense his muscles were under her fingers.
“I’d like to get used to this – to get used to you and to us seeing each other but …”
When he turned around to face her, his eyebrows were drawn together. “But what?”
She shrugged. “I’m trying to be realistic. How … how long do you normally date people before you move on?” She didn’t want to come out and say it, she’d rather he just admitted it, but her internet research had shown her that he was the kind of guy who went out with a whole string of women. All the photos that she’d seen had shown him with a different woman almost every time. Only a few of them had shown up more than once.
He rubbed his hand over his forehead. “Not long usually,” he admitted.
She lifted a shoulder, not sure what else she needed to say.
“But you … this … you’re different, Becca.”
She laughed. “Obviously. And I’m not trying to be horrible about it, but don’t you think that the novelty will wear off soon?”
“No. I don’t. What I think is that …”
She waited, but he didn’t look like he was going to continue.
So, she did. “I just don’t want to get all caught up in thinking that something … something might happen between us because I don’t want to fool myself.” She blew out a sigh. “It’d be all too easy for me to get hung up on you. And that’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?” he asked with a frown.
“Because I don’t want to get hurt. And this is probably too much, but I’m going to say it anyway. I like you more than I should already. I hope that we’ll see each other for a while. You know, date, have some fun. But I have to be realistic.”
“And what if I tell you that I already like you more than I should, too?”
She stared back at him.
“Becca, you’re too young for me. You come from a different world than I do. I’m fully aware that those things could go against us if we let them. But you … you’re … I don’t know. You do something to me. I want to see where this can go. If you want to do that, too, then …” He shook his head. “I’m rushing you. I’m sorry.”
“You’re not rushing me. I feel like I rushed you. I’m not asking you to tell me that there is the possibility of something real between us. I’m okay with it being casual. I was only explaining that I don’t want to talk about long-term stuff because I don’t want to let myself hope for things that I know aren’t likely to happen.”
He came back and put both his hands on her shoulders again. “What ifI’mnot okay with it being casual? What if I’m telling you that I believe there is the possibility of something more than that between us?”
Her breath caught in her chest as he held her gaze. He looked as serious as she’d ever seen him, and it made her heart pound in her chest. “Then … then I’d be very happy. But I’d also still say that it’s too soon to tell.”
He relaxed and gave her a half smile. “It is too soon, you’re right. But we won’t be able to know what this is if we don’t spend time together and figure it out.”
