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Placing his finger over my lips he shushes me. “No buts.
“You hurt me, Troy. Why couldn't you tell me that instead of avoiding me or even treating me so coldly that I ended up resenting you. I already resented my father but you, you were different. Well, I thought you were, but it was like you changed overnight. I didn’t see you and when I did, you ignored me, you spoke differently. All the warmth had gone from your voice and your whole demeanour.”
“I had to. If your dad thought for one minute that there was a chance of me picking you over him, I’d have been out on my ear. When I first came to work at the estate, he told me you were out of bounds and I thought, what the fuck she’s only seventeen. I was almost twenty-six so that didn’t bother me. Then I saw your passion, your heart that you wore on your sleeve. Your tears when you argued with your dad about uni, and the sadness in your eyes when you thought you couldn’t do what you'd dreamed of for so long. It was a no brainer, Em. If you’d have stayed there, he would have ruined you. I couldn’t allow that.”
The tears that have been threatening to fall for a while now trickle down my cheek, but before I can wipe it away Troy catches it with his thumb and gently dries them.
“But mainly I had to think of myself. I looked around at what I’d gained, then it became the easiest decision of my life. Let you walk away, go to uni and live out your dreams, and me, I’d keep everything the way it was. I got the best of both worlds.” He meets my stares with a determination I’ve never seen in anyone else. “I could watch you from afar. When you started having lunch dates with Mitch, he used to make a point of telling me about you, about the gallery, about your life. I’d chew on the very few breadcrumbs that your dad fed me. I’d take whatever I could. But it cut me deep when he’d tell me about your boyfriends. I wanted that. I wanted you. I knew I was missing out on something special, but there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I know I’m a selfish bastard Em, but you were always on my mind.”
I drop my forehead to his shoulder and cry, weeping for everything we’ve missed out on, but I now get why he did it.
“They weren’t even boyfriends.” I admit quietly. As I try to compose myself, “I’ve never been able to settle down with anyone. They were nice enough, don’t get me wrong,” I lift my head and look him in the eye wiping my eyes shrugging, “they just weren’t you. I compared every single man I met against you, and they could never match up. No matter how much you hurt me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll always be sorry for not choosing you, but I had to do it to save myself first. If I was nothing, there would never be anything for us.”
I swallow, I don’t want to cry anymore, “You’ve never been nothing, Troy. You justnever saw it in yourself. My dad just brought the arrogance out in you.” As he looks at me his mouth flattens into a line as he heaves through his breaths. “I understand why you had to ignore me, but it hurt me so much, I just thought I wasn’t good enough. I guess I should have known that my dad would have had something to do it.”
“But we’re here now, Em. You’re still that angel on my shoulder helping me to make the right choice. While I have you beside me, I’ll always strive to do the right thing, I promise.” Turning my head toward him he dries my face of the tears I’ve shed. “I love you, so fucking much and I’ll always regret what I did. Will you let me make it right.” There’s so much sadness lacing his tone, he thinks he’s lost me. With my hands cradling his face I bring him forward, our noses rubbing gently. How could I walk away from him now?Connecting our lips, I kiss him so softly, he pulls me closer, holds me tighter as our lips become one, moving in sync and as I break it, I stare into his deep pools. It’s then I know. My head and heart are finally on the same page. “I love you.” He smiles, pushing my hair back from my face, “I love you so much, in fact, I don’t think my love for you ever disappeared, I just pushed it away, locked it in a box for another day. I had to because I wouldn’t have survived if not.”
He wraps me so tightly in his arms, I feel like he’s holding on to me like this because I’m going to slip away from him. I don’t care though. He can hold me as tightly as he wants too. My arms circle his neck, and we hold each other for feels like forever. My hand rubbing up and down my back while my fingers play dance over his short hair at the back of his head. “I love you Em. You’re everything to me, you always have been, and I couldn’t let you go this time.” Burying my face into his neck I inhale his scent. It’s so homely and familiar… his hand goes to my head, stroking my hair gently, “If I ever had to wonder what my destiny was, it would be you.”
I take my face out of his neck and look at him, filling up from his words, “Even if you had nothing?”
“As long as I have you, I’ll never have nothing because you’ll aways be the most important thing in my life.” His lips press to mine kissing me with everything. Every tear I’ve shed, every bit of hurt I’ve felt fades into the distance and when he breaks our connection, I finally feel contentment.
“My heart belongs to you Troy, it always will.”
“Good. Because if I lost you now, I don’t know what I’d do.” He kisses me again. And again. Now though I’m starting to lose all feeling in my lips. He stares lovingly at me for a beat, tracing my face with his fingers, “my gorgeous girl.” I smile at his words until my tummy rumbling breaks the moment. A chuckle breaks from his lips and it’s a sound to behold.
“Give me a sec?” I ask as we both stand. He releases me and I get up crossing the room to the ensuite. Closing the door behind me I go straight to the mirror. My pale reflection stares back at me, but amongst the pale skin and the dark ringed eyes there’s something I haven’t seen in years. A spark in the blue of my eyes. I can only thank one person for putting that back there and that’s him. My tummy rumbles even louder this time, I run the tap and cup my hands beneath the water, splashing it over my face before I turn the tap off and dry my face and hands it on a towel and I head back out.
“Everything okay, baby?” he asks, a ghost of a smile on his handsome face.
“Perfect.”
He crosses the room, his lips linger on my forehead for a second, he places an arm around my back and bends to put the other behind my knees and he lifts me into his arms. carrying me bridal style out of the bedroom and down the stairs.
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
EMILY
The last couple of weeks have been uneventful. And it’s just how I like it. Things between me and Troy have gone back to normal… normal? Have we ever been normal? We weren’t conventional from the start, but I’m so pissed off at my dad. Even more than I have been in the past and he’s not even here to argue with. How dare he make decisions that had nothing to do with him, just so he could be in control. As much as I would have liked to put the blame on Troy for making me go off to uni with him being an arse to me, I couldn’t. I feel sorry for him. What kind of person does that make me? Stupid, brainless, naïve even? No. My dad did what he did best, he played on vulnerabilities. Like I’ve had to tell myself numerous times before, I might have loved him, but he really wasn’t a good man. Yeah, he took him in and made Troy into what he is today, but at what cost? He’s done alright out of it I’ll admit, but he had to wait for my dad to leave this world before he could act on his feelings, if you ask me that’s just selfish and another attribute of my dad’s that I never liked and never will.
So, trying to forget everything that’s happened in the past, I threw myself into my work, painting some different pieces and making sure I have them perfect for the upcoming showcase. I’m so nervous. The spotlight hasn’t been on me when I’ve done one of these in the past, but Kellie has been a godsend.I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for her. All my paintings are already at the gallery we just need to set everything up.
I can’t believeit’s the day of the showcase already. I’m so bloody nervous. I’ve showered and pampered to within an inch of my life. I need everything to be perfect. Standing in just my red lacy all-in-one lingerie I take the evening gown from the hanger and step into the silky material, it skims my curves as I inch it up my body. Troy steps into the bedroom, stumbling over his steps as he stops and stares at me. I feel gorgeous under his blatant ogling. He saunters over to me looking absolutely delicious in his black tux, I’m not sure whose ogling who. As the green of his eyes darken, he seductively licks his lips. “You. Are. Fucking…” He shakes his head briefly. “I can’t even think of a word right now that fits,” His fingers rub his clean-shaven jaw as he pouts – this is his thinking face, “Breath-taking, stunning. Nah, I was right nothing is good enough.” With a sexy smirk, he swiftly kisses my forehead, brushing his hands over my shoulders and down my arms. “I’m just glad you’re on my arm. My beautiful girl.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself.” I run my fingers down the silk lapels on his jacket and leave a light kiss on his mouth. I place a small light kiss on his lips, I don’t want him covered in red lipstick.It’s funny how I see him in suits all the time, but in a tux, wow.
Hooking the shoestring straps of my dress beneath his fingertips, he pulls them up and sets them in place on my shoulders, “I’m going to have fun taking this off tonight.” I forgot I haven’t got as far as pulling my dress up all the way, He puts his hands on my hips and slides them over the satin of my dress and rounding them to my backside bringing me closer. “I’m so proud of you for doing this.”
“Really?” I cock my head in question.
“Yes, really. You’ve stuck to your own decisions and haven’t let anyone take your dreams.” Troy states in a soft voice.
“You are part of those dreams remember.” I answer, but my voice breaks a little, for some reason I feel emotional.
“I hope I am. Because no matter what happens, I’m not letting you go again.” We stare at one another for a moment, but I break first and step back hitching up my dress a little, I step into my favourite shoes ever, sparkly, silver Louboutin’s and a clutch to match. With these shoes I’m about six inches off Troy’s height. With his fingers rubbing his chin, he stands beside me looking me over, twisting his mouth to the side. “What’s wrong?” I ask concerned, brushing down the silk of my dress and running my hands over my hips.
