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My hands were shaking as I waited for her to lift up her shirt. Her back was tanned, the skin smooth, and I ran my finger up her spine slightly, watching goosebumps break out on her flesh. She was breathing strange, holding her breath and sighing in the most delicious ways. I had been close to her before, but this time felt so much more intimate.
Our eyes met from over her shoulder and for a moment, I wanted to pull my hand back. I was aching inside, needing her more than life. Then, she turned back away from me, and I was able to catch my breath. I moved my hand after looking at the small incision mark that was left. It was nearly healed and so was Amber. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. If she was no longer my patient, did it really have to be such a bad thing to want her? To need to touch her?
Amber shivered when I asked her about her other injury on her shoulder. She didn’t answer me, just lifted her shirt up higher. I could see her bra now, and the dark skin of her whole back, shoulders, and part of her arms. I could also see the side swell of her breasts and the way she was breathing erratically. I wasn’t the only one that was disturbed by our closeness, and that at least made me feel a little bit better, not much though, if I was being honest with myself. My mind was on other things, moving past this and onto the next.
“How is it?”
“Beautiful.”
She giggled and I realized what I was saying. Of course, it was beautiful, but not her wound, her back, her form, the vibrations that I felt coming off of her. Everything about her, but not the gash from something cutting her during her wreck and the one from my own hand.
“I don’t know if I would describe it like that.”
“I mean it is healing beautifully. You have really done well, everything considered.”
I was still touching her, so close, my body just inches from her, but close enough that I could feel her, the draw so strong again. All I wanted to do was be near her, on her, in her… My mind was getting ahold of the situation and trying its darndest to make me crazy. I couldn’t let it.
“You saved me, Frank. I don’t know if I will ever be able to repay you for that.”
I backed away because I didn’t want her to want me because of that. I wanted her to want me for me. It was hard to explain and even harder to push those feelings away. I didn’t know why, but there was just something about Amber. I wanted her all the way and nothing else was going to do.
“It was nothing, Amber, really.”
She turned around with the shirt still up, showing off almost all of her upper half.
“I’m done if you want to put your shirt down.”
Amber’s face turned a little red under her tan and she pushed her hair off of her face. I was embarrassing her. Why had I said anything? I should have kept my mouth shut. It was just that simple. I didn’t know what I was thinking half of the time, I really didn’t.
“Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I liked to believe that she was thinking along the same lines that I was. I knew that there was so much that I was doing wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted her, so damn badly, and the more I was around her, the harder it was to ignore. To deny. It pained me to not do anything.
“Well, I am going to call it a night if you don’t mind. Six o clock comes early.”
It was the time that she came over because I had to go to work. I wasn’t thinking about work though. I was only thinking about Amber and the daunting need that I had. She was gone and I was left standing there in the kitchen, trembling and trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next.
I walked through the house, and it was neat and tidy, everything wiped down. It was just another magical part of Amber. It looked like she had been busy today.
Taking a long shower, I tried to dispel the desires and only succeeded in making more of them for myself. Amber was outside in the pool house, and I didn’t even look out there when I heard a splash by the pool. It was Amber out there, making her rounds and laps, not knowing what she was doing to me. I didn’t look, but I didn’t have to. Her image from the night before was not hard at all to remember. It had me thinking that maybe this was a bad idea. Or maybe, I needed to get some action before I ruined a good thing.
It would be worth it though. That’s what I knew deep down. Whatever the consequences for seducing Amber would be, it would be worth it if it worked. I was pretty sure that I could get her to see things my way. All I had to do was go against what I knew to be right and just do it.
11
Amber
Alice was at a friend’s house staying the night. She’d been picked up after I got an okay from Frank. He had been hard to get ahold of, but I knew that it was because of the importance of his job. He was always on the go and for good reason. He was saving lives, like he had saved mine.
I was happy that Alice had friends and seemed well liked in her class, but it was strange as well, because now I had no idea what I was supposed to do with myself. I had been around her every day for months. She would be gone till morning and Frank had told me to enjoy my time off.
I didn’t know how to enjoy it. I hadn’t had time off in so long, with nothing to fix or a fire to put out. It was strange to think that I could be idle, if that was what I wanted to do.
It wasn’t, of course. I had energy that I shouldn’t, and I felt good. There was also the fact that not too long ago I’d been told that I would never walk again. It made me appreciate my body and my health in a way that I never had before. It made me want to get out and go for a run. It had been a while since I’d been so taxing on my body, but I was convinced that I was going to be able to do it.
At first, it felt amazing, getting out into the air and stretching my legs, moving fast. It had been a while and it was nice to know that everything still worked as it should. It was a wonder of mine, and I liked an answer that wasn’t a no.
What I didn’t understand though, was how quickly I became tired. My body failed me quite quickly, but I was so far from where I had started. I couldn’t keep going, a spot in my back hurting badly, as well as my shoulder that was healed. I worried that I had ripped something or done something bad. I was scared if I was honest, and I called Frank before I realized that’s who I was calling. I needed help and I knew that he would help me, as well as make me feel better. Just knowing that he was coming helped me to calm down and breathe through the pain.
