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Iwas seriously questioning the moment I met Amber. She came into my life in a hospital bed. I didn't really know what it had done to me, what had drawn me to her, but it seemed like ever since she came into my life, everything had flipped upside down. I thought that they were good changes, Alice was closer than ever to her, and she was a hard sell most of the time.
Then again, Alice was gone now. It was hard to think that any benefit that Alice had gleaned from the nanny was worth what she was going through now. She had been kidnapped because of Amber. I had no idea where she was, what was happening to her.
The worst part of it all was I didn't even know if Amber had something to do with it or not. I didn't want to think so, but you know, it just seemed too convenient. Before I could really think it through, I started to realize that there wasn't much that I could do but go along with it. That is what they figured, and they were correct in thinking so. I couldn't let anything happen to my daughter, so I had to do what they said.
Tommy made it clear that he saw I had plenty of money and that gave him the right to do what was necessary to get it for himself. He had no problems with holding my daughter to get it. I think Amber was more of an afterthought. He didn't want any money for her. He asked me if I wanted her back and I hesitated.
My hesitation had him assuming that I didn't, and Tommy said that he would be more than happy to pass that on to Amber. It was the last thing he said before he hung up. I didn't get a chance to correct him, even though I knew I would. I was sure of that.
The only problem with it though was that Tommy didn't want to do it right then and there. He wanted to wait till the next night, and that meant that Alice was going to be in his care the whole time. The only part of it that made me think that I could actually get through it was the fact that Amber was going to be there with her. I knew that, whether or not Amber was involved in it, at least I knew that she wouldn't do anything to Alice. The care that she showed her was not fake. That I knew for certain. It helped, but not that much.
The other condition was that I couldn't call the police. That was a given if I actually thought about it, because I knew who he was, or at least I could find a way to get ahold of him. He said that he would be long gone before the cops ever found him and as much as I hated to hear that, I knew that it was probably for the best. If I ever found him, I would certainly try to kill him and that probably would be the worst thing I could do for my daughter’s safety. I couldn’t be a dad to her if I was in prison.
I needed to keep a level head, no matter how hard it was to do so. I walked the house, back and forth, trying to figure out what to do next. I didn't think I was ever going to sleep again. It seemed silly now, what used to keep me awake. I had bigger troubles now, some that seemed impossible to fix. I just needed to get Alice back and then I could worry about the rest of it. Nothing else mattered than her being back home safe.
* * *
The meeting placewas an out of the way part of the outskirts of the city. I knew it only because it was a place that Amber had taken me a long time ago. It was when she first got out of the hospital, and I didn't know anything of her checkered past. Now going there just make me sick to my stomach.
I never got to meet Tommy. He was not where I was. He had some goons come collect his money and before long, Alice just showed up on the other side of the park like a mirage. She came running toward me and I picked her up. I looked where I had stashed the bag of cash that I got from the bank, and it was gone. Tommy got all he wanted, and I think that was the hardest fact to get over. He shouldn't get my money, not after what he’d done.
I texted the number, I wasn’t done. Tommy called me back.
Tommy said that he would release Amber, but that was before I had hesitated, and now she was going her own way. I didn’t want her to stay with him. I didn't want to believe that she was part of it, and if she wasn’t, I certainly didn't want to be the reason that she was not released.
“Where is Amber?”
“I told her that you didn't want her back, so she will be staying with me. She made her choice. She was mine first anyway.”
I looked down at Alice and I held her a little closer. How was I going to tell her that Amber was gone?
“She wants to stay with you?”
“I wouldn’t keep her here against her will. This is what she wants. You've made your decision, and you have what you want. Besides, if you knew Amber, you would know that no one holds her against her will.”
“And you two have my money, so I guess we're even now.”
I tried to control my anger because my daughter was watching me. I had just lost half a million because of a mysterious woman that had come into my life like a fucking wrecking ball. Maybe it was better off this way. Maybe the hesitation was the best that I could have done. Amber wasn't who I thought she was. Maybe Alice and I were just simply better off.
I didn't want to think that way, but I had Alice back and that was all that mattered. Tommy hung up and the sound of the dead line unnerved me.
“Where's Amber, Daddy? She didn’t ride here with me.”
“Was she with you?”
“She was until we got in the car to come here. I haven't seen her since. Is she already at home?”
I wasn't ready to give the answer to that question.
“I don't know, baby. Let's go find out.”
I felt bad lying about it, but what was I going to say? It was obvious that Amber wasn't coming back. As much as I wanted to believe that she was, I had messed up. If she was involved, I would never see her again. If she wasn’t, my hesitation lost her.
We drove home while I tried to figure out my next lie. Truth was, I didn’t know where Amber was, and now I would never know. That was going to really bother me, I just knew it.
Alice had lots to say. She didn’t understand what had happened, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her. It was too much for a girl so young. Hell, I was a grown man and I was having trouble dealing with it myself.
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