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“Have you not been listening?” Zeus asked loudly. “We can’t remove the virus or destroy it. Once a soul is infected, we can’t reverse it.” He glared at me. “You wanted to know the truth, and now you do. Like it or not, you’re a part of this.” He shook his head. “You were demanding that we resolve this matter quickly, so now we’re asking you to do the same—help us put this behind us. Or does it not count when we ask?”
“Don’t speak to her like that,” Rumir growled.
I shook my head. This was an impossible situation. “I understand how serious this is, now more than ever. But the fact is, you—none of you—care what’s happening to me.” I stared at the three circles on the ground and the writing moving within them. “All you care about is using me for your own ends.”
Zeus’s laugh was mocking. “Of course!” He stepped forward, pointing at me. “But don’t take it personally. What's happening to you is purely by chance. You could be anyone standing before us now. In fact, there might even be others like you." When Rumir growled, Zeus added, “But of course, now that we do know what you’re capable of, we have to think of using you in this fight. We don’t have the luxury of waiting and seeing if there will be others like you. If we could, we would. I’m sure we'd find someone willing.” He shook his head. "Furthermore, if we had the option of taking the power you now hold, we’d do it, and wouldn’t have to stoop to asking a mortal for help!”
My pulse spiked for a second when a rush of anger ran through me. Zeus froze, and the room fell silent as everyone grew tense.
Looking down at the polished tile, I saw that my eyes had changed to red, and I turned my back to everyone.
What was that?
I’d just felt an urge to attack Zeus. For a second, I’d imagined how easy it would be to hurt him, to taste his blood while ripping his flesh from his bones.
I laid a hand on my chest while taking a deep breath. Luckily, the urge to kill had vanished as quickly as it appeared. But the sound of his voice had been like a bell going off in my head, waking up the beast inside me.
How could something so simple trigger such a strong sense of wrath? Was this what chaos was?
Even though I was in control, deep down I felt excited at what the outcome could be if I attacked him. And they wanted my help?
I knew I wasn't special. I hadn’t been handpicked for this assignment. But that’s how I also knew I wasn't in a position to help anyone. Not in the way the gods wanted.
I was a time bomb, and I could almost hear the damn ticking. If anything, my reaction to Zeus had just proved that.
Even now, I could still feel the rage simmering under the surface of my skin, waiting to break free. It was terrifying to know that at any moment, I could lose control of my body and mind.
I closed my fist where red veins had appeared on my palm.
I couldn’t help anyone in this state.
“Do you think I don’t want to help?" I spoke low, but I knew everyone could hear me just fine. "I want to help, but there is a bigger part of me that wants to rip you to pieces for merely speaking to me. That's how I feel, and I have no control over it.” I closed my eyes. “I couldn’t feel it before—Tedara’s divinity—but now I can, and it's growing… so quickly. I might have enough control to keep standing right now, but how long will that last?” I opened my palm. “I want this madness to end, but I can’t risk losing my mind and killing anyone else. You told me to stay out of the gods’ business, and that's what I'm going to do.”
“Then you understand you can’t be allowed to return to The Wanderers Forest where you live or the S.R.F.?” Heldon asked.
I nodded. “Yes, I know.”
“She can stay with me,” Rumir said. His tone suggested that he would fight back against any objections. “My home is secure enough.”
From this moment on, my afterlife would never be the same. I needed a moment, even just an hour would do, to gather my thoughts. Maybe I was being a hypocrite by not standing up and doing anything I could to help, but none of them were at risk of losing themselves and possibly killing others in the process.
None of them were being coaxed to let go, to give up, to allow their rage to flow free. I might not have died physically, but I feared the part of Tedara that was inside me would have no problem killing me if I relented control for one moment.
I might be alive and resisting her power now. But how long could I last?
* * *
Rumir
Leaning against the door frame, I watched Natalie. She was staring out the window, bathed in the moonlight, her silky white hair cascading down her back.
She hadn’t said a word since we left Fate’s home and arrived at mine. But I could see that she needed some space. I wanted to offer her comfort, but I also didn't want to say the wrong thing. Try as I might, I couldn't imagine how she was feeling.
What was it like to be told your body didn’t belong to you anymore, that there was something else inside you that could take over at any time?
I wanted more than anything to take away Natalie's pain, but I couldn't. Right now, all I could do was be here for her and provide a haven for her where there would be no prying eyes or anything to trigger her rage.
Only Lucian and I, along with Brian and Rehema, were allowed to be around Natalie. The gods, in their infinite wisdom (yeah, right…), still wanted no one else to know what was happening.
