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By now, checking the mail has become a habit, one Avryl can’t bear to break. She takes an Uber to Mia’s place to get the letter, and on the way back she realizes, again, that she’s found her way home with little awareness of what she’s doing.
Larry’s words are so loud in her head, she wonders if she should see a doctor.
The new letter looks the same but feels different. Thick. Heavy, and not just because it is more pages than usual. If this was a month ago, she would have been so excited at getting an extra-long letter with Love, Ax at the bottom of it. Instead she looks at the small envelope in her hand, thinking of how she used to hold those papers close and imagine his hands all over it. And how she used to put that paper close against her skin when she was alone in her room.
A nice letter from him would have taken her mind off of Larry and the things her father said. Snapping out of her haze, she puts the letter in her purse.
This feels different. Like the words themselves are heavy.
It’s another warm summer day, and Avryl decides to do as Nayomi said. But going to her room doesn’t feel right. If there's something in this letter she doesn’t want to read, for some reason, she wants to read it away from home.
There is a park just north on their street, a small one with a playground, big trees, and a few benches. She gets there and notices a few people running on a track that goes around the perimeter. Kids hang upside down from monkey bars. A baseball diamond at one corner of the park sits empty. It’s the first time in two years she’s seen the space in person. It's nice and so close to where she lives. She admits a little embarrassment at not going anywhere except home, Limelight, and getting coffee.
She finds a bench under a tree and carefully tears an edge off of the envelope.
