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At the facility, such emotions only lead to heartbreak and unbearable misery. I assumed I’d never need to feel attracted to anyone ever again. But I wasn’t sure now that I was in this situation with EliaseAnne and it was confusing.
More importantly, I was afraid to open such a box sealed within me. I knew EliaseAnne wasn’t a threat, but I couldn’t ignore my past; my heart struggled to determine whether to unlock that box within me and experience love once more.
Eli simply stood there, speechless, her eyes wide. I held my ground; my curiosity outweighed the feeling of apprehensiveness that began to crawl into my mind. As the silence continued, I started to feel disappointed.
Maybe asking was a bad idea. I don’t think I’m good at using social skills.
“It’s not that. I...just didn’t expect you to ask that question. As a spirit myself, to answer your question in that perspective, no it’s not incorrect to love the same sex. In terms of my own morals...I’m different,” she explained, frowning as she avoided my gaze.
Different?
“But you’re a girl and a spirit. Doesn’t that mean you don’t care in dating a female shifter?” I couldn’t seem to understand her reasoning.
“It’s complicated,” she replied. I could see a shift in those green eyes…it was a look I had seen in many shifter’s eyes when they’re being backed into a corner. Feeling trapped.
“Why?” I retorted, not satisfied with her answer.
“Midnight,” she said sternly. I could see a hint of Elias in her expression as she continued to frown at my analysis attempt.
“If Mako liked you, does that mean you wouldn’t date her because she’s a girl?” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, a weird sensation filled me. It was the same feeling I experienced when I was thrown into the pit to face multiple shifters – dread.
I frowned, wondering if the sensation was induced by Mako’s subconscious. She’d written down how she sometimes could feel me, similar to how she’d felt her spirit’s emotions. The only difference was we couldn’t speak to one another, nor could we feel each other’s feelings all the time.
Was Mako feeling frightful with the possibility of EliaseAnne not liking her in that way?
EliaseAnne didn’t respond; her expression alternated between confusion and sadness.
I frowned at her outstanding silence; the fear of her rejection grew greater than any fear I had experienced at the facility. I didn’t know where I stood with her, and that feeling made me feel uncomfortable and awkward standing before her.
I’d just met her for the first time, but Elias on the other hand...I knew I liked him.
“Nevermind. Forget I asked. I’m going home. Bye EliBear.”
I turned around, not able to face the fairy shifter as I felt my eyes sting. I was puzzled at my sudden immense emotions of sadness and rejection. I’d locked my feelings away long ago, yet within this short time it was as if I’d never done such a selfish act.
Was it Makoto’s feelings I was harbouring right now? Or my own?
If she didn’t like me that way...only wanting to be friends, then I didn’t want to hear it from her now.
I glanced at the friendship bracelet on my wrist –MAKOTO – ELI – MIDNIGHTdisplayed around the bracelet in nice stone like blocks, the letters engraved into the material. Our names were separated by bears, making me want to call Eli by her new nickname.
I walked forward, placing my hand over my mouth to yawn as a wave of exhaustion washed over me.
I didn’t hear footsteps follow me as I entered the forest, which only made the sensation within me deepen – leaving me feeling numb.
Doesn’t Eli like us? Like that?
Something tugged at my hand, causing me to shriek, I was ready to summon my magic when I was pulled into an embrace, the mint leaf scent mixed with the familiar cherry blossom shampoo fragrance I knew from Mako’s memories was owned by one person.
“EliBear?” I whispered, struggling to keep my composure.
“I swear to Starlight, don’t make that expression...the same one Mako makes when you come to a conclusion without reasoning.” She whispered in my ear as she tightened her embrace, causing me to blush.
“I did ask for a reason. You gave me no response. Of course, I assume...” I trailed off, not wanting to finish. I let out another yawn; my eyes became heavy as my mind began to fade.
“EliBear...can you tell me the reason next time I see you.” I questioned, fighting the darkness that attempted to devour me.
She was silent for a moment, before pulling back to look at me. She must have noticed my struggle to stay awake as my body wobbled; her embrace only tightened around me to keep me up straight.
