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He even thought of how the only thing that had gotten him through those long days of bed rest had been her correspondence and the knowledge that she would be all too pleased to see him once he was well again.
And suddenly the answer was all so clear before him. The mere thought of spending a single Christmas without her now that she had come into his life made him feel sick to his stomach.
Finally opening his eyes, he looked to his father's headstone and read the name written upon it, the titles of earl, husband, and loving father emblazoned upon the stone, and he found himself thinking,maybe I could be all of those things too.
Then, just like that, another thought occurred to him as though it had been staring him in the face this entire time.My mother and father married for love, so why not I?
It was with a brand-new determination that Gabriel left the graveyard, feeling refreshed and much more clear-headed than he had in a long time. And although he had left his carriage and the driver awaiting him at the kerbside just outside the yard, he found he much preferred the idea of walking.
Though there was fresh snow on the ground, the sky was a pale, wintery blue. The sun was shining brightly, leaving him in no doubt as to the fact it would be a most pleasant walk around the outer edge of the churchyard. He needed to ensure his head was fully cleared before he headed home to find out when exactly his brother planned to propose, and whether it might interfere with his own plans that were beginning to form.
"I think I shall take a walk," Gabriel announced to his driver. "Please, go about your business and perhaps return in half an hour?"
With a tip of his hat, the coachman whipped the horses and pulled the carriage away from the kerbside. Gabriel watched him go, wondering whether he had done the right thing, feeling his lower ribs ache from the last time he had walked alone in London when he had been pickpocketed and stabbed.
Though he had gotten over the accident, the memory of it sometimes still popped into his mind, especially when he was feeling quite emotional. And this was one of those times, forcing him to ask the question once again,why would anyone wish to kill me?He remembered all too well how his attacker had taken a second swing at him with the knife.
It was months ago.He reminded himself, also remembering that he had not seen hide nor hair of the attacker since. Assuring himself that it had been a one-off, trying not to think of his and his brother's almost watery grave at the bottom of the lake, he began to turn and head in the opposite direction.
Listening to the crunch of his own footsteps in the snow, he barely heard the ones coming ahead of him before it was too late. Looking up just in time, he bumped right into the young woman walking towards him. Her sharp exclamation was enough to cause him to react and instinctively, his hands shot out to grab hold of her arms and steady her until she had found her footing once more.
Astonishment washed over Gabriel the moment the woman reached up to pull back the hood of her fur-lined cloak to reveal her face.
"Lord Sutthers, please forgive me," she gasped, her voice quite breathless. "I was so adamant on watching where I was putting my feet. I did not see you until it was too late."
She dipped her head respectfully, and remembering himself, Gabriel bowed a greeting before he responded, "Do not apologise, Miss Julia. The fault is my own. I ought to have been looking where I was going."
It was then that Gabriel noticed the parcel wrapped beneath her arm, tucked inside her cloak. He recognised the brown parcel paper almost immediately and guessed aloud, "You have been to the bookstore."
Her cheeks flushing slightly, she smiled and nodded. "I was just walking back home. I do believe I shall stop in to see Miss Chelsea on the way."
Gabriel wondered whether there was a reason. Perhaps she had learned from her friend that she had good news? Yet the woman did not look in any rush to get to her friend's house and Gabriel couldn't imagine his brother would be so impatient as to have already proposed to Miss Chelsea before he had come up with some elaborate plan to do so.
Jonathan had always been the brother for flair and romance. And yet Gabriel found he was more than willing to be the perfect gentleman where Miss Julia was concerned.
"Please, it is a long way back to Grosvenor Square. Allow me to accompany you."
"Oh, I appreciate the offer, my lord," Miss Julia said, beginning to protest, "but I could not ask you to walk all that way with me."
Before she could offer any further reluctance, Gabriel stepped out to the edge of the cobblestone pavement, careful not to slip on the snow gathered near the gutter, and began to hail down an oncoming carriage. His own driver would likely be late returning to the graveyard anyway and so he had plenty of time to get to Grosvenor Square and back again if it meant spending a little time with Miss Julia.
Chapter 17
Though it was entirely inappropriate for her to share a carriage alone with even Lord Sutthers, Julia couldn't help but feel at ease sitting beside him, just as they had on the sleigh the night before. In fact, without Chelsea and her own companion there, she felt even more comfortable.
"Have you been well, my lord?" she asked easily, glad that she could feel how slow the carriage was being driven. It would be some time before they made it to Chelsea's house. For once, she was not eager to be where she was expected.
The chill of the morning encouraged her to lean into Lord Sutthers just as she had previously. And he appeared just as pleased to wrap an arm around her as he had the night before.
"I am, Miss Julia, and all the more so for seeing you," he admitted, and his words caused Julia's heart to sing. Not for the first time, she felt herself wondering whether this might be the right time to tell him the truth, to admit that she was the daughter of Viscount Chalmers who was offering the kind of dowry that royalty would bestow upon an eligible bachelor for the chance to be rid of a daughter.
But she was distracted by the way he was looking at her, the way he was holding her hand and squeezing her fingertips as though he wanted so desperately to touch her further.
"I have missed you," he whispered, leaning in close. He stroked a strand of hair from her face as he spoke, and she felt his breath caress her cheek. The way his green eyes glinted, even in the half-light of the carriage, made Julia's skin tingle and her heart beat faster.
"I have missed you too, my lord," she confessed, hoping that he heard the truth in her tone that she felt deep inside her gut. Just saying the words caused her to realise just how much she really had missed him. Her heart ached to think of being anywhere but by his side.
She would have liked to remain there forever, if not physically, then at least in the knowledge that he was hers and she his. She wanted so desperately to ask where they stood with each other, and yet she could not bring herself to do so. After all, how could she when he did not entirely know who he was pledging himself to? If he even wished to do so.
