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“To find a Duke.”
Chapter Fifteen
Despite Kitty's objections about stressing her leg, a few minutes later, Edwina found herself facing Albert’s study door. She retracted her hand for the third time when she tried to knock. She was anxious about what or who she would find on the other side of the door.
"Do it, you dolt!” she whispered to herself. “You are already here."
And just when she readied herself to knock again, the door was yanked open from the inside. "Edwina!" Nora acknowledged her in her usual breezy manner. “It is wonderful to see you walking.”
Behind her, tall and imposing, stood Albert. He did not say a word but his cold gaze was pinned on Edwina. She grew more nervous and her cane wobbled, nearly causing her to fall.
Nora immediately took her arm to steady her. “Now I understand why you dislike the cane.”
“I should have left it upstairs.” Edwina mustered a smile. Albert’s gaze was still encased in ice but he appeared surprised at the exchange between them.
With a gentle pat on her arm, Nora excused herself. Edwina reined in her wandering imagination when she regarded Albert again. She did not wish to dwell on the reason Nora was in his study or why the door had been firmly shut. After all, he had every right to keep his relationship with her because their engagement did not stand.
Without so much as a word, he turned and walked back into his study but he left the door open for her. A silent invitation. She had half a mind to leave but she was already there. He was intimidating when he was blue-deviled but facing him was very important to her.
She limped in after him and because she should not stand for long, she found one of the chairs in front of the hearth and sat. He stood by the French windows that overlooked the garden, his back to her.
“Your Grace,” she began, thinking he would turn around. He did not. Swallowing, she inserted some firmness in her tone. "May I request that you look at me while I speak? I have something important to tell you.”
He neither acknowledged nor did as she had requested. She sighed. "I know what you must have heard," she continued, “and I know how it must have sounded.”
"Really?" he drawled, his voice dripping with both anger and irony. Then he turned around. "Enlighten me, please, because you left meveryconfused and hoping that I heard wrong."
"Unfortunately, you have not heard wrong. I wish I could say otherwise."
“Then why are you here?”
“To explain. To clear a misunderstanding,” she said contritely, resisting the urge to wring her fingers. “I wish to explain my actions."
"I cannot imagine what grand explanation you would have for such a violation of confidence." With his back to the window, his face was cast in shadow and she could not see his expression clearly. "In my experience, there isn't usually any excuse other than selfishness and greed for betrayal.” His mouth curved. “I am sure you must have felt like you had quite the catch, hmm? The biggest catch of the season, as a matter of fact."
Edwina flinched. "Your words are too harsh."
"And your actions were not?" He took a step forward.
"You have the right to be angry and I understand—"
"I damn well do!" he interrupted her. "And I deserve you to allow me my right to say what I wish on the matter. Your explanation is neither needed nor wanted. What is done is done and now I know who you truly are."
He would not allow her to speak and she wondered if he would ever believe her; believe that desperation had driven her to trap him. "I have decided to actively search for another match," she announced. "For when the engagement is dissolved."
She thought she should tell him that. It was up to him to dissolve the engagement now and this was her way of handing the reins to him.Did I even have the reins in the first place?
He snorted but did not say anything. Silence stretched between them, thickening the air and pulling the life out of it. She felt compelled to say something. Anything. "I thought you should know."
He was still quiet but his regard revealed what he was not saying. He hated her and might never forgive her. Despite the fault being entirely hers, his treatment of her and apparent unconcern about her announcement to find another match greatly pained her and she wished she could change it all. She wished she could return to that night of the masquerade.
A small part of her thought he cared about her as Kitty had said and had hoped he would hold on to that care enough to listen to her and understand.
What she would not give to see that familiar smile in his eyes and hear it in his voice again, to hear him say he forgave her. What she would not give to be in his arms again—
She shook her head to dismiss that line of thought. What was done was done and there was no going back. Perhaps ever. Bracing her cane on the floor, she stood, with some effort. She was halfway to the door when he spoke.
"I made a promise and I intend to keep my word. I am not a cad. The betrothal will carry on as initially planned before dissolved. And in that while, we shall strive to keep up appearances in public. Which means presenting ourselves at every meal and event."
