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"I do not understand," Danny added. "I do not recall his words ever being this disturbing—”
Edwina had kept every letter she exchanged with John, and shared them all with Danny. "That is because they never have," Edwina responded. "Not until recently."
"Recently?" Danny blanched, reaching to touch Edwina’s forehead. "My Lady, John is dead. Has been for five years now. Do you feel a fever?” Edwina gently pushed her hand away and shook her head. Puppy, who was asleep beside her woke up, then crawled onto her lap, curling into her as she took to scratching his head.
"You must think that I am going insane now. I received that letter just this afternoon," Edwina explained, reaching into the drawer to pull out the other letter. "And this came in the day after our arrival here. The day after,” she repeated. “Whoever sent this must have been watching us.”.
Where the first letter had been a promise to collect a debt she owed to oldfriendsthat she did not know, this second one was a reminder of promises she had made. She took the letter from Danny and looked down at it.
Have all those years and the memories they birthed meant so little to you that you would accept another man and so easily move on? Remember, Edwina, that you wear a cloak of promises made that will shadow you for as long as you breathe.
He loved you. Do not forget—
"This is far from an amusing joke,” Danny said. “Dead men do not send letters. Besides, the Baron Mills I knew would want you to be happy and carry on with your life after him. You think it could be from someone who knew about you two?"
"In his hand?" Edwina asked with a choked laugh. "I doubt that he shared the same penmanship with a twin even if he’d had one. No one knew about us. I did everything I could to keep our relationship a secret. These letters are recent, and whoever wrote them is alive."
"Then they are forged," Danny concluded. "They have to be. Right?" The way Danny's voice faltered on the last word did not escape Edwina's notice. She was as uncertain as Edwina.
"I suppose I not going mad because I am not the only one who recognizes the hand as his." Edwina sighed and rubbed her eyes. She was tired, but she knew that attempting to sleep would not take away that weariness.
"John is your past, My Lady,” Danny reminded her. "You are going to be a Duchess now, and you are going to begin a new life."
"Am I truly going to begin a new life?" Edwina took both letters and folded them, replacing them in the drawer as though hiding them would change things. “How can I begin anew when the past is waking?”
John, or someone that was pretending to be him, was haunting her present, threatening to cause her more grief than she had experienced when she read the letter announcing his death. Such unfortunate timing, too, because she was fighting to secure her future.
Albert's proposal still weighed heavy on her mind as well, and after a moment of pondering, Edwina did not think she would have accepted it had they not been interrupted. He was a man she was certain she would grow to want more from. More than he could ever give her. He cared more about his pride and the notion of claiming her than he cared about her needs and sensibilities. Being his wife might be a difficult endeavor that Edwina did not think she could manage.
She would turn down his offer, she decided. She could not marry him while her past haunted her. That sort of union would breed nothing but torment to both of them. "What will you do about the letters?" Danny asked.
"I wish I knew," Edwina replied. "I never saw anything more convincing. There is no argument that this hand belongs to Johnny. I suppose I will simply have to wait and see. Whoever it is, they cannot hide behind a quill forever."
"And the Duke?"
"He would probably live better without me and my problems." She patted Puppy’s back when he moved.
"You cannot tell me that you mean to break your engagement with the Duke?" Danny stared at her as though she had just sprouted another head. The scheme to catch a husband at the masquerade was known only to Edwina and Kitty. Edwina was uncertain of what Danny’s reaction would be if she had known.
"I shall have my dinner now, Danny," Edwina said in a manner that ended the conversation. She did not wish to have her mind changed. Her decision was for the best, she believed.
After Johnny, she never harbored fantasies of love and romance. She’d had no expectations until now. And she had a good reason to suspect that acting on those feelings would be a grave mistake. Her fragile heart had taken enough heartbreak to last it a lifetime.
"I would advise you to follow whichever path that calls to your heart, My Lady," Danny said before gaining her feet. She gathered the towels and exited the room, leaving Edwina alone with her nightmares.
"The path that calls to my heart is a dangerous one. I cannot afford to be foolish, now can I?" Edwina asked herself aloud.
* * *
Later that night, tired of staring at the ceiling and thinking, Edwina threw on a robe over her night rail and quietly slipped out of the room, moving silently through the dark Mansion to the library. She had left a book there the night Albert had nearly ravished her against the bookshelves. Retrieving it seemed like the perfect excuse to go seeking some distraction from the laden shelves.
The Mansion was very quiet; too quiet, but it suited her well, for it greatly contrasted with the disquietude within her. The library was dark when she arrived, and she used the lone candle she had brought with her to light a few more candles before venturing to seek her book from the shelves.
It did not take long for her to find it because its slim spine stuck out from the row it had been placed in. Someone must have put it there without bothering to do it properly. The servants? she wondered. Or perhaps Albert himself? The thought of Albert and his reaction after coming across the novel sent warmth all across her body. She wondered what journey he would have taken her on had Nora not walked in on them that night.
She still wanted him, she realized. Too much, in fact, and she disliked it. It was not fair to want what she could not have.
You can have him if you agree to marry him, her inner voice said, and she quickly squelched it. Her reasons for making the decision she had were very strong and just as valid.
