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This isn’t the time to just be…Aiden.
I slide a hand through my hair and force some air in my lungs.
“No. No… I didn’t know you needed fresh clothes. It would be weird, remember?”
My shoulders slump and I look to the ground as Vanessa exhales.
“Oh... Oh ok.”
I didn’t realize how close she had stepped in, but as I look up again, she’s moving back.
It’s a misfired shot and one of Cupid’s fucking arrows hits me directly in the heart. I thought falling in love was supposed to feel amazing. She was about to open the trapdoor, wasn’t she? That was the moment I broke into that beautiful mind of hers and helped her unpack everything that’s been causing her pain.
Instead, I’m watching her back away. And my heart may just have broken into a thousand tiny pieces.
“I just put your case down on the bed. I’ll let you dress.”
Without another word, I storm out.Idiot. Fucking idiot.My shaky legs carry my down the corridor and I’m bursting into my bedroom, slamming the door shut as quickly as I can.
I scrunch both fists in my hair, pulling, yanking… Anything to feel pain. I freefall to my bed and my face hits the pillow. I scream into it. Over and over again.
I’m so far gone for this girl. My roommate’s little sister… Mybest friend’slittle sister. I can’t be. I just can’t be. This isn’t allowed.
Why do I do this to myself all the time? Why do I fall for the wrong women? Why can’t I just meet Miss Perfect and have my happily ever after?
“Why. Is. It. So. Damn. Hard!” I yell into the pillow.
Silence is deafening against my ears as I hold back the pressure building in my chest.
“Well, I’m guessing this won’t help…”
A voice drifts into my room and I shoot upright on the bed. My eyes are so goddamn wide I think my brows are lost in my hairline. I feel my neck crack as I snap around and see Vanessa standing in my doorway.
And may God have mercy on my soul… She’s naked.
CHAPTER FOUR
Vanessa
Aiden’seyesdarken.Hetraces a studied, heated gaze over every inch of my body until my toes curl. I watch his mouth hang open, twitching every so often as he shifts on the sheets of his bed.
I’m so fucking scared.
I’m scared because of how badly I want this. My life has been in freefall for so long I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be alive. But this… this right here… I’m taking a chance.
Isn’t that why I’m here? This isn’t rehab. This isn’t about running away. This isliving.
“V-vanessa?” His voice fails and he clears his throat. “Vanessa, what are you doing?”
My hands are desperately squeezing together as they strain and fight against the will in my head not to cover my body. It’s like a reflex, an old habit that’s hard to break. I have to fight against my arms as they try to reach up to hide my chest and the fat roll sitting on my hips.
I’m not pretty. My body is wobbly and podgy. My ass has dimples for fucks sake, and I have red stretch marks on my hips because I binged my way to an unhealthy weight when I was a teenager. At least, that’s what the doctor told me. I know I’m not unhealthy - I eat right now, and I exercise.
I used to, anyway.
Until Ethan dumped me so he could continue to fuck that bony bimbo with a clear conscious.
He’d been fucking her for months and I spent hours comparing myself to her. I knew all along, of course I did. He might have been swift and evasive on the field, but that was about his limit.
