AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“But after he died, I stopped celebrating, and when Rory was born, I was so afraid to move on without Collin, to create new memories without my baby boy, that I kept telling myself Rory was too young, and I’d do it once she was older. But it wasn’t her age. It was my guilt that was stopping me.” Tears fill my eyes, and Gage immediately wipes them away.
“She deserves to have these moments, even if she won’t remember them, and I should’ve given them to her.”
Gage frames my face in his hands. “Everyone grieves in their own way, and that little girl is so damn loved by you. Maybe you weren’t ready to have her sit on some creepy people’s laps yet, and you didn’t buy her a basket, but she’s loved every day.”
“They’re not creepy!” I laugh through my tears. “They’re magical.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
GAGE
“I saw the pictures of Collin sitting on Santa’s lap, next to his Easter basket, when he was clearly younger than Rory. Dressed for the Fourth of July, his first birthday pictures. When Sadie was unpacking, she had a box of his stuff, and she left it open, and I looked. I saw. So when she told me Rory was too young and then had the panic attack, I called you, wanting your take on it,” I tell Viola with Sadie sitting next to me.
We’re at my therapist appointment together. Viola wanted to start small, get to know Sadie a bit, so she’s talked about moving to New York, being an editor, and how we picked out a toddler bed for Rory yesterday—pink with a girly canopy that Rory loved.
When she asked how our Easter was, it led to Sadie telling her how hard it was for her. Yet she felt like she wasn’t alone anymore because she had me, and that when she dropped the ball, I picked it up. So I felt it was only fair that I was completely honest with her.
“I knew there was a chance I was wrong,” I continue, “and that it was just a coincidence, but something in me had me follow my gut, so I went out to a twenty-four-hour store while Sadie and Rory were asleep.”
Taking Sadie’s hand in mine, I bring it up to my lips for a kiss. “When I saw the look on your face,” I say, directing my words at Sadie instead of Viola. “As you watched Rory excitedly tear through the basket, snapping picture after picture, I had a feeling I was right. I wasn’t going to ask, though. I didn’t want to upset you. So when you brought it up and thanked me… letting me in… it meant the world to me.”
Sadie sniffles. “Sometimes I want to talk to you, but I can’t. Not that you won’t listen, but it just doesn’t come out. Like the words are stuck in my throat. Memories surface, and I feel like I’m being choked by the emotion.”
Viola smiles softly at Sadie. “That’s completely normal. This week, I’d like for you guys to try something.”
I groan playfully, already knowing what’s coming. “This is when she gives us homework,” I tell Sadie. “Viola loves to give homework. It’s not like the homework we had in school, though. It’s worse. Because it makes you actually think and feel, and unlike in school, you can’t fucking cheat.”
Viola laughs. “Your homework is to buy a notebook and keep it on the counter until one of you needs it. When you feel like you can’t speak,” she says to Sadie. “Or you want to express how you feel.” She looks at me. “I want you to write in it and give it to the other person. Communicating doesn’t always have to be speaking. Gage writes songs, and you edit novels. Writing can be communicating too.”
After thanking Viola—and Sadie agreeing to join me again next time—we head out. Since Kaylee and Braxton are spending the afternoon and evening with Rory, we use the alone time to pick up gifts for her upcoming birthday and order a cake. We’ve decided to do her birthday at A Latte Fun, renting the place out for the afternoon since Rory loves it there.
“Where are we going?” Sadie asks when Paul drives toward her condo instead of Kaylee and Braxton’s place.
“I’m taking you out on a date.”
Her eyes widen, and then a bright smile spreads across her face. “Really? Where? What about Rory?”
“We’ll pick her up after dinner.”
“I can’t even remember the last time I ate at an adult restaurant without Rory.” Sadie laughs.
We go by the condo, where a dress and heels wait for Sadie, thanks to Kendall, who had them sent over in her size from some trendy boutique she loves. While Sadie gets changed, doing her hair and makeup, I change into a suit since the place we’re going to has a dress code.
